All Vampire
by Covee
Summary: As opposed to All Human. Bella's move to Forks goes wrong on Day One, when she almost dies before she even makes it home. Carlisle saves her at the last minute. How will Bella deal with life as a vampire when she has no preparation for it? And how will Edward react to the newest member to their family?
1. Chapter 1

**AN Hello everyone! This is my new story, All Vampire. I always see AH fics, and I thought it would be fun to make one AV, so here's what happened. I don't really know how long this is going to be... it's already streched out quite a bit, I think. **  
><strong>Anyway, enjoy!<strong>

* * *

><p><span>Bella:<span>

When I landed in Port Angeles, where Charlie would pick me up to drive me back to Forks, it was snowing. Of course it was. It couldn't even have just been raining, like I'd expected it to be– it had to be snowing. Charlie was waiting to pick me up in his police cruiser. We made some uncomfortable small talk, but Charlie was very concentrated on the road.

"Does it snow like this a lot up here?" I asked. The sky was really falling on us today, and I wondered if this was the sort of thing I would be dealing with all the time now. If Charlie was worried about driving in this weather, I probably didn't stand a chance.

"No, not like this. Snows sometimes, but usually the rain washes it away," he explained. _Great_, I though. _Rain._

Charlie was driving pretty slow, and he had his fog lights on. I don't think it was making much of a difference, though. I could barely see twenty feet in front of us. Charlie and I had stopped talking, and I couldn't decide of the silence was uncomfortable or not. I was playing with the hem of my shirt when the car was suddenly filled with light. Metal screeched. I looked up and saw, clouded by the torrent of snow, the headlights of another car, only for a second

Carlisle:

Driving home from the hospital was difficult in the storm, even for me. I didn't dare drive too fast– reflexes be damned, my car could skid and I could hurt someone. I wished I could have run home, but someone at the hospital would have noticed if my car stayed overnight when I hadn't. I was coming to a particularly blind curve when I smelled metal and oil. I knew the smell of an accident too well, and I searched for it. Of course, it was right in the middle of the sharp wind in the road. A green jeep had collided with a police cruiser– a police cruiser I recognized as Chief Swan's car. But what had he been doing out in the woods?

My question was answered immediately when I got out of my car and saw the girl bleeding profusely in his passenger seat. As far as I could tell, Chief Swan and his daughter were still alive. The man driving the jeep, apparently without the need of a seatbelt, had been thrown from his car and laid dead in the snow. I checked the girl first. The jeep was so far off course, it had struck primarily on her side of the car. I could tell immediately that she wasn't going to make it. Her heart barely had a beat and she had lost far too much blood. She probably wouldn't even make it to the hospital. Chief Swan was a different story. He was knocked out cold, but his airbag had saved him, provided he made it out of the snow. I reached into my pocket to call an ambulance when the Chief groaned.

"Don't worry, I'm going to get you help," I told him.

He was certainly only a fragment conscious, but his head was facing his daughter and he feebly tried to reach for her. "No," he sobbed. "Please, no." His arm dropped and he was unconscious again.

I looked at the girl who was certain to die, and I wished more than anything that there were something I could do for her. _There is_, some part of my mind whispered.

_No_, I thought. _I can't do that_. But I was torn. I looked at her; she was so fragile and pale. For some reason, she reminded me of Edward when I first met him. I couldn't place the similarity. Perhaps it was that they were both dying, or that their parents called for their life when they were on death's doorstep themselves. I heard her heartbeat slow even more, nearing it's final beat, and I was suddenly filled with a sort of dread. What would my life be like if I hadn't changed Edward? Why was I given the power to save people if I only ever turned by back on them?

Her heart stopped, and the moment I was too late, I felt such regret. Suddenly, and out of nowhere, I heard it flutter up again. A few frantic beats, willing her to live. This was a sign– I knew it. And I wouldn't ignore it.

I bit.

* * *

><p><strong>So this is just the intro, really. Hopefully, the next chapter will be longer :)<strong>  
><strong>I'm bad at proofreading my own stuff, honestly, so feel free to let me know if you found a spellinggrammar error.**

**I try to respond to every review, so feel free to leave one. Like almost every other author, I find them to be good motivation :)**

**~Covee**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Chapter two! Thank you everyone who reviewed and I hope you enjoy this just as much :)**

* * *

><p><span>Edward:<span>

I heard Carlisle's thoughts before his car even hit the drive. It was more or less a stream of doubt. He was grappling with a decision he'd made, though he knew it was too late to change it. I heard a scream through his mind, and I saw through his eyes when he turned to the back seat and glanced at the writhing girl back there.

I jumped up from my place on the armchair, my book fell to the ground.

"What?" Jasper asked, sensing my sudden shock. He and Alice were on the sofa, her head in his lap while he toyed with her hair.

Alice sat up slowly, seeing now what would come. Carlisle would walk into the house, carrying the blood-soaked girl. I would attack them for some reason. She couldn't see why.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. Her vision went further. I'd cause an all-out brawl with the family. It made no sense.

"One-hundred percent. Get out of the house," she ordered. I wanted to disagree. I wanted to tell her that there was no way I'd fight Carlisle or any of the family. But there was no point in questioning Alice at this point. She didn't always know why, but she always knew what, and when she barked orders, I knew better than to ignore her.

"What's going on?" Rose asked, hearing the strange exchange and coming down the stair with Emmett at her heels.

Esme also joined us, leaving the bills and paperwork she'd been addressing in the dining room.

"Everyone has to remain calm," Alice said. "The future isn't really clear, but some things are certain." She turned to our sister, "You're not going to like this, Rosalie, but please, we can talk it over."

Rose was suddenly glaring. "What won't I like?"

Instead of answering, Alice turned back to me. "I said GO!"

I nodded, and I ran out of the back door and across our lawn. Carlisle's car was halfway to the house now, and I could hear in the thoughts of my family that they could hear the girl screaming too.

"HE. DID. **NOT**," Rosalie shrieked. I wondered if maybe she should have left the house too.

Esme:

I didn't want to believe it, but I could hear someone screaming from here. _Carlisle wouldn't do it_, I thought. But maybe he would. I knew he had resolved to never turn another person, but maybe something compelling had changed his mind. He was too compassionate for his own good, sometimes.

Rosalie was already yelling, "HE CAN'T DO THIS TO US! HE PROMISED! HE PROMISED HE'D NEVER–!"

Emmett was trying to calm her down. He pulled her into his arms, and she fought to break away for a second, but when she realized it was futile, she slumped against him. "He promised. He _promised_."

"I know, Rosie. I know." Emmett said soothingly.

Jasper, though quiet, was equally unhappy. Maybe he was siphoning some of Rosalie's anger, but I knew him well enough to know that he was thinking about our cover. Jasper was always hyper-aware of the repercussions of any action, and he was obviously calculating this one.

Alice was rubbing her temples. The future must be such a jumble for her. I wanted to ask her when Edward would return, but I didn't want to give her another thing to look for now.

The car was at the garage, now, and I heard Carlisle get out of the car and pick up the girl.

Alice was suddenly up. She ran upstairs, grabbed a handful of thick sheets, and shooed Jasper to lay them over the sofa where they'd been sitting. The second she was done, I heard Carlisle approach the door and ran to open it for him. He entered the house with a girl screaming in his arms. I had never seen such a pained look in his eyes. He placed the girl on the sheets Alice had laid out. The scent of her blood filled the room, and Jasper stiffened and stopped breathing.

Carlisle faced the family, and for a second, it was silent save for the screams of the girl.

Rosalie was the first to speak. "How _could_ you?"

He looked at her, and said earnestly, "I'm sorry." She wouldn't hear it. She forced her way out of Emmett's grasp and ran outside, Emmett following right after. Jasper went with them too, though I was sure it was thirst and not anger that forced him from our living room. Alice was the last to leave.

"I'm sorry, I think I just need air," she said, and she was gone too.

Now it was just me and Carlisle in our house. He opened his mouth to speak, but I embraced him before he could. "It's alright," I told him.

"I wish it were," he responded. He sighed and retuned my embrace. "Thank you," he breathed in my ear. Then he released himself from me. "I'm going to change my clothes and talk to the kids."

He ran up the stairs to our room. I was glad he would be out of those bloodstained clothes. I hoped he would feel better out of them, but knowing my Carlisle, he would probably still have guilt eating him from the inside out. Somehow, without my noticing, the girl had stopped screaming and started whimpering. She looked so pitiful, curled in the fetal position mewling how she was. I'd never seen a person changing give up on screaming so soon. Poor thing. I crouched by her on the sofa and ran my fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry, angel. It will all be over soon."

Edward:

One by one, my siblings joined me by the river. I had seen the whole thing through they're minds, and I still couldn't figure out why I was the greatest threat in the room. From what I saw, I would have guessed Rose would start the fight if there was one. My sibling were varying degrees of anger, worry, and disbelief. I was in Carlisle's head more than theirs, though. I wanted to figure out why he had done it. It didn't make any sense. After all this time, why now? Why this girl? Forks is one of the best places we'd ever lived. The weather was perfect, and the townsfolk had seemed to resign themselves to all the lies– which was rare. There was usually at least one person who was concerned that something was wrong with us. Not to mention, of all the places to break the treaty made with the werewolves ages ago, right under their descendants' noses was not so smart. Not that it mattered, really. All the wolves were dead and the new generation hadn't inherited the old genes, it seemed.

I idly worried that this was another attempt to bring me a mate, but I shook that thought from my head. I knew better than to baselessly assume that of my father, and his thoughts betrayed no such intentions.

Esme was so worried. She was afraid that this was going to tear the family apart, and I wasn't sure she was wrong. Not one of my siblings was anywhere near alright with the situation. Rose was a train wreck of anger and betrayal and bad memories. Emmett was angry for her, too. He couldn't believe that Carlisle would upset her like this. Alice couldn't quite get a grasp of the future, with everything changing so fast, but she too was upset that Carlisle had changed a person without consulting the family. Jasper was the most outraged, more so than Rose even, because he saw this as a threat to the family. Her disappearance would be investigated. The family could be facing scrutiny. And on top of that, a newborn was hard to control, and she would inevitably kill someone. If we didn't keep a close enough eye on her, she could expose us all and get us killed.

I tried to read the girl's mind, too, but the pain was too much for her, and her brain was so muddled that there wasn't even a single coherent thought to read.

After a minute or so, Carlisle and Esme left the house and approached us. He intended to apologize and listen to any grievances aired against him. He didn't think he really had the right to explain himself, and he didn't know that he could.

I saw the memory in his mind, and I felt sorry for him. His compassion had won over in a moment of weakness. The girl was surely going to die and he thought he'd received some sort of divine intervention.

Looking back, he was now realizing that divine intervention would not have wanted him to take the soul of an innocent girl.

When he was close enough to speak comfortably, Carlisle opened his mouth to begin his apology. But the wind shifted a fraction and I was suddenly off the rock and on my feet, frantic.

"What _is _that?" I demanded. The scent was faint, but even so my mouth was pooling with venom and my muscles were tensing. "Is that _her_?!" I asked, looking past my parents and into the French doors that led into our house. A part of me was thinking that I was faster than my family. I could get to her before any of them. But if they chased me I'd barely taste her blood before they ripped me off of her. But would they chase me? I'd be doing everyone a favor, getting rid of the biggest problem in our lives. Maybe they wouldn't even try to stop me.

Carlisle would, but I could get away from him. If I threw him before I ran, I would have enough of a head start.

"_Edward!"_ Alice shrieked.

I was suddenly brought back to the moment. I realized that this was the reason for the fight Alice had seen. If the traces of her scent that lingered were enough to make me consider attacking Carlisle, I could only imagine what being in the same room as her would do.

I was suddenly ashamed. How weak could I possibly be? This was pathetic. I tried to sit back down as nonchalantly as possible.

Esme looked worried. "What–?"

"Nothing," I grumbled, cutting her off. I knew I was being rude, and I tried to check my manners. "Sorry," I mumbled half-heartedly at my mother.

She was still concerned, but after a short mental debate, decided not to ask again.

Carlisle finally got on with his apology, but I couldn't focus on it. All I could think about was the girl– Isabella, Carlisle said in his speech. She was the chief's daughter who was supposed to move here today. Apparently there was some sort of collision.

Isabella. It was a nice name, if not a bit of a mouthful. I was sorry that she wouldn't get to live with her father like she had planned, and I wondered if she had been looking forward to it. All of the sudden, I felt so bad for her. I thought of the entire life she had stretched out in front of her. Human lives, though short, were so eventful. She would have grown up and gotten married and had kids and grandkids and jobs and friends and a whole life that she would now never see. How horrible for her to be stuck to this now. I personally never felt I'd missed much in my human life, and most of my family felt as though their lives were over anyway when they were changed and didn't regret it too much. But for the girl, Isabella, I was actually on the same page as Rosalie.

Vampirism was a hell of a sentence.

Carlisle was still talking. He explained that he called the ambulance for Chief Swan from the officer's own phone and faked his croaking voice. He wouldn't need to remember that when he woke up. People would speculate about where Isabella had gone, but he was sure most people would assume it was an animal before they thought someone had kidnapped a dead girl. Alice agreed with him on that, and Jasper was slightly mollified, though he still didn't like the idea of having a newborn around.

I wanted to assess the threat of her presence too, but I knew I wouldn't be able to until the venom faded and her mind cleared up.

I realized that I couldn't go back into the house until she was fully turned for worry of losing my mind even more than I had before. But how would I explain that to my siblings? I didn't want them to know just how weak I was. Perhaps if I hunted very frequently, and prepared myself mentally… Yes. Her scent only affected me so much because I hadn't been expecting it. I knew I could be in the house if I tried.

Carlisle wrapped up his apology, and overall, he was not forgiven. Rose sulked off to work on her car. Emmett hugged her hard then let her go.

I turned to Jasper. I heard him worrying about all that blood in the house. "Want to go catch a couple deer with me?" I asked him.

He sighed. _Of course, the second blood comes up, I have to double down on hunting_, he thought disdainfully. "Sure," he said aloud. Little did he know, _I_ was the one who needed the extra precaution.

Alice kissed him lightly goodbye, and we ran off into the woods together.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Edward thinks too much. Writing from his point of view immediately takes like, three times as long :/**

**Again, I don't proofread well, so if you see anything, let me know!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so for everyone who was there for the whole 'skipping from Chapter two to Chapter five' thing, sorry!**

**When writing, I pretty much skimmed over chapter four because I wanted to write chapter five because five was more fun. Then I accidentally posted five instead of three! Oops!  
>So now, four isn't done yet, but I'll put it up as soon as it is! For those of you who have already read chapter five, let's just call it an exclusive sneak peek.<strong>

**This is chapter three this time! I promise!**

* * *

><p><span>Edward:<span>

Jasper and I had taken down a few deer apiece when he suggested we go back. It was only a few hours after we'd left, and I agreed half-heartedly. I really didn't want to face the lure of Isabella's blood, but I knew I couldn't put it off forever.

Jasper was suddenly angry. "You know what, Edward. This is total bullshit. I know I'm the newest to the diet, but how about a little trust? Your apprehension is a little excessive, and honestly, I'm a little offended."

"Jazz, it's not you," I tried to explain.

"No. You guys are always telling me not to take it personally, but I'm not some out-of-control newborn who needs a leash!"

"Jazz! I actually _mean_ it's not you!" I stressed. Jasper was confused. He was trying to process my apprehension along with the new round of embarrassment and shame. I decided I'd better just tell him. "It's me. I'm worried that _I_ won't control myself, not you," I admitted.

"What, why?" he asked. Jasper had such a high opinion of my self-control, he didn't understand.

"Even just the trace of her scent made me crazy for a second there, back at the river."

"Is that what that was about?" he asked, remembering my bizarre behavior and Alice sharply calling me to attention.

"Yeah. I've never smelled anything like her before. I'm worried about being in the same room, especially if nobody has gotten rid of those bloody sheets yet."

"Alright, then. We'll take it slow. I got your back," he offered. I raised an eyebrow at him, and the thoughts he'd been trying to suppress came up. "Alright, fine. I'm also a little excited to not be the weakest link for ten minutes. So sue me."

I laughed, and I wondered if Jazz was influencing my good humor. "Either way, you won't be the weakest link for long after the girl wakes up."

Jazz laughed too. "Silver linings, right?"

Back at the house, almost everyone was silent. Rose was still under her convertible, and Emmett was in the garage with her, worrying about her. Emmett never worried about anything except Rosalie. It was one of the things that really reminded me that their relationship was not just shallow and physical. Alice was flipping through channels absentmindedly, but really worrying about the things she still couldn't see in the future. This sort of thing had happened with her visions before, especially when she had been looking for Jasper and then the family. The more she looked, the more things changed, and the more frustrated she got. Carlisle was sitting by Isabella's side– where she laid on fresh sheets, thank God. Someone had also had the good sense to change her out of her bloody clothes and into a white cotton dress. He was whispering to her that it would be okay if she just held on, and he was mentally reprimanding himself for lying to her. Esme was trying to go back to the quilting pattern she'd been working on, but she was really focusing on listening to the family. She was so afraid that this would split us up, and she hated the idea of any of her children leaving or being unhappy.

I approached Carlisle and the girl. I didn't really realize I'd been holding my breath until I spoke. "How is she?"

"Incoherent," Carlisle answered. "They all are at the beginning." _At least she hasn't gotten to the begging for death stage yet_, he added mentally. I knew that was the worst part for him.

I looked down at the whimpering girl. She looked overall disheveled and miserable. I was abruptly struck with a deep want to make everything better for her. I wanted to take Carlisle's place by her bedside telling her everything would be okay. For a moment, I understood why Carlisle felt he had to save this one.

That was weird. I hadn't noticed that after all this time Carlisle's compassion had rubbed off on me so thoroughly. I was a little self conscious of the urge– I was worried that Jasper had sensed it. But his attentions were entirely on Alice. He was producing calm for her, which she sorely needed. Alice presented herself as carefree- and she usually was, but when the future got tangled up, she got too stressed about it.

I tried not to, but my eyes left Jasper and Alice and returned almost of their own accord to Isabella. I was still holding my breath. I decided that there was no time like the present and steeled myself into place. I opened my mouth, thinking it would be easier than a breath through the nose, and inhaled.

Her scent was a wreaking ball to every one of my senses. Opening my mouth was the wrong decision. Her scent was a flavor on my tongue and a fire in my throat and a longing in every part of me. I _had_ to taste her. I _needed_ to.

Before I could move, I was hit with new emotions. Guilt, shame, and regret raked through me, and paused me long enough to remember that I _didn't_ want to drink her blood. I couldn't think where the emotions had come from in the heat of such a moment, until I heard Jasper's mental voice say, _You're welcome. And you were right. That _is _some serious bloodlust. You might want to take a minute outside_.

But I refused to be owned by this. With my senses back where they belonged I exhaled and inhaled again. The scent was just as strong, and more venom pooled in my mouth, but I refused to think about killing her. I continued to breathe in slow, even breaths.

_Seriously, this is some sick masochism_, Jasper thought. I knew he was right, but I was resolved not to admit it.

While I stood there breathing, Carlisle took a break from reassuring her and went to prepare his things for his next shift at the hospital. I sat where he had been, but I didn't speak to or touch the girl. On top of not wanting to ruin my control with physical contact, I knew that talking to her was pointless. Isabella was still in a place of pure pain and no thought. I felt bad for her. Even Rosalie and Emmett had a few well-phrased curses and cries of pain while they burned, even if only mentally. But then again, they also screamed so much longer. I wondered if maybe Isabella's thoughts were as slow as her father's. The Chief was a good man, but in the few times I'd been around him, there hadn't been too much knocking around in his head, and less of it was complete sentences.

As I stared at the girl, she opened her eyes and looked right at me. Her eyes were brown, but they were like no brown eyes I'd ever seen before. They looked so deep. Even with her face contorted in pain, her eyes looked like they were keeping secrets from me. There was so much they had to say, but I couldn't understand. Her eyes were a language I didn't speak. I wanted to keep looking, to pry the secrets from them, but after only a moment, she had closed them again.

The intensity of her gaze had startled me. There was obviously thought in there. Why couldn't I hear it? Why couldn't I read her mind?

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so now I just need to finish Chapter four, and then I can post four (and repost five) really soon!<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay everyone, here's Chapter four, finally done!**

* * *

><p><span>Bella:<span>

The fire. There was nothing but the fire. It ate me from the inside out. At first I screamed. I screamed and screamed and screamed, but it was doing nothing. Maybe there was nothing to be done. When I stopped screaming, there were voices. I didn't catch everything they said. One called me an angel, was this somehow a penance I had to pay to get to heaven? It felt like hell, fire and all. Another voice spoke to me low and steady. He told me it would be okay. He told me over and over and over, and I didn't know if I could believe him. The fire didn't lessen over time, but I could notice other things. The low voice came and went, and he apologized every time he had to go. Maybe he was God. Maybe I _was_ dead. The other voices argued. A beautiful sounding, angry girl yelled at the low voice. She hated me, of that I was sure. If she was an angel, she was trying to keep me out of her paradise. There were other voices, but I didn't hear what they said, usually.

Sometimes, I would open my eyes. Everything looked blurry when I did, though, and I tried not to do it often. But I saw the man with the low voice sometimes when he spoke to me, and when the low voice was gone, I saw another person in his place– a beautiful boy. Once, I thought I saw the beautiful girl, too, but she was standing so far away.

After what must have been months, the low voice stopped just telling me everything would be okay and started telling me other things. I couldn't focus on all of it, but he told me he was sorry, that he had done this to me, and that I would wake up soon a whole new person. I wasn't sure that I wanted to be a new person, but I would take anything over the burning.

Finally, finally, after forever, the burning started to leave my fingers and my toes. I felt so cold in the places where the fire left, but the cold was so refreshing I couldn't even think to complain.

A cute, wind-chime voice said, "It's happening. Any second now."

The fire retreated more and more, but as it left, it got worse where it still existed. Finally, the fire was only in my heart, and I thought it would explode between how fast it was beating and how much it burned. But it didn't explode, it stopped. My heart _stopped_.

I waited to die, but after a few seconds, I realized I was still there. At least, I thought I was.

One of the voices asked, "Is she okay?"

"I'm not sure," the low voice answered. "Isabella, are you okay?"

I didn't know. Was I _not_ dead? I tried to open my eyes.

They opened just fine, and I realized that they had never really been open before. I could see _everything_. Every inch, every detail, every mote of dust, it was all as clear as day. I got caught up examining the grain in the wood on the molding on the ceiling. I'd forgotten that anyone had asked me a question until they asked me again.

"Isabella?" The low voice asked. I didn't mean to, but I shot upright, sitting on the sofa I hadn't even known existed. The face of the low voice was the beautiful blonde man I'd seen before. But, of course, I hadn't really seen him. I stared at his face, wanting to see every bit of it, but I realized there were more faces behind him. The bronze haired boy was the beautiful one who had been sitting by my side when the beautiful blonde man wasn't, and the tall girl behind him was the beautiful girl who was so angry. Okay, so they were all beautiful. I almost couldn't cope with it.

"Isabella?" The blonde man asked again. I opened my mouth to say something, but the breath in brought so many scents and flavors, I was distracted again.

"Great," the beautiful, tall, angry girl said as she stormed out of the room like a runway model. "She's a freaking mute. Wonderful."

"Rosalie!" scolded another woman. She was standing in the back. She had such a kind face, and beautiful wavy brown hair. I stared at her for a while, and when she looked back at me, she smiled at me. I was going to smile back, but the bronze haired boy caught my eye.

He let out a frustrated sigh and looked to the menacing blonde standing next to him. "No. Nothing," he said.

I looked to the dangerous blonde, who nodded. What had the bronze haired boy answered? Had I not heard the question in my distraction? It wasn't out of the question.

The beautiful blonde took a step back away from the group. He sighed and said, "I'm sorry, I have to get going. Will you all be okay here without me?"

"Of course, Carlisle. We can handle one newborn," the bronze haired boy said.

I wanted to argue that I was not a newborn. I was seventeen! But it occurred to me that I might be a newborn to them. Whatever this new life was, I had certainly just come into it.

Carlisle kissed the kind woman gently, and said, "Goodbye, Esme." Then he left

The largest person in the room looked at me inquisitively. "You gonna say anything?" he asked abruptly.

My surprise must have amused him, because he let out a loud, thundering laugh. Even his laugh was huge. I was suddenly afraid of him, he looked like he had so much power in him.

"Stop it Emmett," the blonde one who wasn't Carlisle barked. "You're scaring her."

"Alright, Alright," he agreed. He took a step back, and I felt a little better. He still looked too big, even standing further away. I was staring at him now, (apparently I was going to stare at everyone ) and he was the first too look uncomfortable under my gaze. I felt bad, so I stopped looking at him. Instead, I turned my attention to the little, black haired girl in the back by Esme.

She smiled and waved at me, like she knew me. I couldn't remember ever having met her before, though. As I stared at her, she suddenly lost focus on me and stared off into space. I couldn't figure what had come over her, but after a few seconds she came back to her senses with a little shake of her head.

"I'm on it," the bronze haired boy said to her. This time I was sure I hadn't missed anything. He was responding to nothing. I had been staring right at the girl, and she hadn't said anything.

I looked to him, intending to question him but he spoke first. "Are you thirsty?" he asked me.

When he said the word, my hand went to my throat. Yes, I realized, I was very thirsty. My throat still felt the remnants of the fire that had consumed me earlier. It felt so tangible, I doubted even gallons of ice water would make it go away.

No, I didn't want water. I wanted something else, but I couldn't place it.

The bronze haired boy offered me his hand. "If you come with me, I can help," he promised. I took his hand, and his skin was hard and smooth. It was as if he was made out of marble. I ran my other hand down my own arm and realized my skin felt the same way. What had happened to me?

"Do you want me to come with you, Edward?" The blonde asked.

"I think we'll be okay. Thanks, Jasper" Edward responded. With my hand in his, he led me out of the house.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter five should already be up if you're reading this, so no goodbye note for you<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**So here is chapter five, which a few people have already read from when I accidentally posted it as chapter 3...**

**This chapter is a short one, but I'm not sorry anymore because you all got chapters four and five at once so that sort of makes up for it**

* * *

><p><span>Bella:<span>

The river at the other end of the grassy field was a long way away. Edward was gently pulling me along, which was probably the only thing that kept me moving forward. There was always something new to look at. There were rustling animals in the trees, the curves of the water in the river, the rolling grey of the clouded sky, and more than anything, the green. Everything was green. The ground was green with grass and the trees were green with leaves and the trunks were green with moss. Too much green. It was weird, I felt like there should have been some other colors, brown primarily.

After walking some distance from the house, Edward stopped, still holding my hand. I stopped too, and looked at him. I didn't know why we were stopping.

"I think we should try running," he explained.

I was confused, and a little apprehensive. I knew that I was not good at running. I tripped a lot and I couldn't run for very long before I got winded and tired. But something about this new body made me think it wouldn't get tired to easily. So, I nodded at him.

He smiled at me, and let go of my hand. "Alright, here's what you need to know. It's not going to be anything like any running you've ever done. It's going to be very fast, but don't worry. And if you get overwhelmed, just stop."

His words didn't really make any sense, but nothing was really making sense right now, so I decided to just go with it. I looked towards the river, and started to sprint towards it.

When he said it would be fast, he was _not_ exaggerating. I was at the river in less than a second, and I didn't think to stop myself so I jumped instead.

Jumping was even more surprising than running. I was suddenly flying through the air, but just before I started to think I could _actually_ fly, gravity began to reclaim me. I was hurtling towards the ground at a speed I couldn't even comprehend, but it was also like moving in slow motion. I crashed through the top branches of some trees, but grabbed a thick branch on the way down and swung from it. My new trajectory flew my unobstructed to the ground. I wondered if the impact would hurt me, but I felt like my new body could take it. I landed on the balls of my feet in the squishy green ground.

Now that it was over, I was so amazed at myself that I couldn't move. My brain struggled to process what had just happened, and equally, my emotions tried to fight for my attention. I was elated and surprised and terrified and confused and I felt like giggling a little and crying a little at the same time.

Instead, I managed to take some deep breaths to try force all the too-strong emotions down. It was just running and jumping, albeit crazy fast running and jumping.

Just then, Edward caught up with me. He saw me taking deep breaths and grabbed my hand again, worried.

"You okay?" he asked. The concern in his voice made me feel warm inside. Maybe it was just because everything felt so strange and different, but when Edward grabbed my hand and voiced that he was worried about me, it made me feel less alien.

I nodded to him, and he smiled at me.

"Want to run some more?" he asked. He was obviously very excited to be running. I wasn't sure I wanted to, and I bit my lip as I thought it over. I also realized I had clenched his hand tighter in my own, though I hadn't intended to. Running again would be fun, but it would mean letting go.

He looked down at me, he was obviously trying very hard to figure out what I wanted, and he seemed to have an idea.

"How about we run sort of slowly, and keep holding hands?"

I was still biting my lower lip, but I smiled at him. He smiled back, and with my hand still in his, he urged us forward.

This speed was less exciting than the sprint I had used to get to the river, but it was nicer running with Edward than alone. We ran for a long while, and I wondered how many miles we had put behind us. I didn't wonder for very long, though, because before I could dwell on it, I smelled something. It was wonderful, and the burning in my throat demanded it. I pulled away from Edward, and he let me go. I ran ahead, following my nose, until I found myself in a large clearing. There was a herd of deer eating grass, and without any sort of conscious thought, I was suddenly on top of one. It writhed, but by teeth closed around it's throat and I sucked the life from it. My throat rejoiced, and that was all I could think about.

It wasn't until there was no more blood left in the large buck that I had realized what I'd done. I shoved the animal off of me and looked down at my hands, covered in red. I glanced back in the direction I came, and Edward was standing calmly where I had broken through the trees.

He must have seen the question in my eyes, because he answered it. "You're a vampire, Isabella."

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun DUUUN. Seriously, someone ought to have taken a moment out of their time to explain this to her earlier...<strong>

**I will try not to make uploading mistakes anymore! I hope you're all liking the story so far!**


	6. Chapter 6

Edward:

I hadn't wanted to admit to my siblings that my willingness to take Isabella out for her first hunt was more than just altruism. I wanted to be alone with the girl, for so many reasons. First and foremost, I wanted the chance to try to read her mind without distraction. Sadly, I'd failed at every attempt at this. He mind was silent no matter how much I tried to mentally probe at it. I had thought for a moment that physical contact would connect me to her thoughts, but even that proved pointless.

Mostly pointless, at least. I admit, there was a reaction in myself I wasn't expecting when I held her hand. It felt nice. Running hand in hand with her felt nice. I imagine my mind was just reacting to the novelty of being in such close contact with someone without hearing anything, and I mean anything. Her mind was silent, and her mouth followed suit. I wanted both to be open to me. If I couldn't hear her mind, I at least wanted her to speak! Maybe if I heard her real voice, her mental voice would become clear. But she refused me even that. She only responded so far by nodding or shaking her head, and it was starting to really frustrate me.

I didn't know why it bothered me so much, though, and that was the worst part. Who cares if I couldn't hear her? I'd pay good money to shut up my siblings any number of times, so why did it matter to me what thoughts were in this girl's head?

Perhaps it was just because I didn't like to leave any mystery unsolved. Or perhaps it was because I was so used to knowing everything about everyone, that this one blind spot was a blow to my ego.

I was a little shocked when she managed her first hunt on her own. It certainly wasn't unheard of, a vampire following instinct as a newborn. Rosalie had to be guided to and instructed the first time she'd hunted, as did I. Emmett had made his first kill unassisted, and he caught a black bear the first time, too. But all of us at least knew the objective going in: drink blood.

I had intended to stop myself and Isabella after running some to explain to her what she had become, but when she pulled away from me after the scent of the gathering of deer, I decided it was best not to try to stop her.

I followed her, and watched as she deftly, if not messily, took down a deer and drank from its neck.

I felt bad about not telling her what she was afterwards. She shoved the dead deer off of herself and looked around confused and a little disturbed until her eyes found me. She didn't say a word, still, but she was begging for answers.

"You're a vampire, Isabella," I delivered.

She stared at me, wide-eyed, and I wished, for the thousandth time in an hour, that she would say something. She didn't, though. She just sort of slowly sat down and stared off into the forest.

_Why_ did I want to know her thoughts so badly? I wanted to go sit next to her and ask her what she was thinking. Could I do that? Could I just ask? It seemed like an un-due invasion of privacy, even though it would certainly be no more than I invade the privacy of everyone else I ever meet.

Before I could decide, she stood again, and trudged towards me. She didn't meet my gaze, and I decided she must have still been putting puzzle pieces together. She nearly walked back past me in the direction of the house, and I was surprisingly upset that she was just going home without even acknowledging me here.

"Do you want to drink more? We can stay out longer," I suggested, mostly just to grab her attention. She shook her head, and began to run back towards the house. I followed behind her, upset and disappointed and generally grumpy. Apparently, I didn't like being ignored, and I had to remind myself not to be upset with the girl. She was a newborn, after all, and I remembered the onslaught of thoughts and emotions in those first few months.

I probably wouldn't be so upset if I could hear her mind. Or if she would even just talk to me!

_Stop it. Don't be upset with the newborn_, I reprimanded myself. I had to repeat the words a few times, but by the time we were back at the house, I had eradicated my misplaced annoyance with her and how she blew me off so easily.

As we approached the house, I heard the minds of my siblings and parents. They all had a sharp edge to them, and as we got closer, I could hear them fighting again. Rosalie had taken the opportunity of Carlisle and Isabella both being out of the house to vent her anger to everyone. By which I meant she was loudly and endlessly complaining. From the thoughts of Alice and Esme especially, I could hear that she had been going on for a while now.

"We shouldn't have to put up with this! I don't want to babysit a newborn all the time just because Carlisle decided to be impulsive! None of this is fair. She's ruined everything," she whined.

Esme was trying to calm her without disagreeing. "Rose, I know this is all different and upsetting, but regardless of whether it was the best decision, it's done now. We can make sure that you don't have to look after her, if that will make you feel better."

Rosalie was mildly pleased that Esme was even entertaining her. She always needed to be the center of attention, and even though Esme wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know, she wanted our mother to coo over her and make her feel better, just like a screaming toddler. Of course nobody would ever think to ask Rose to watch out for Isabella. She would gripe about it forever– literally– and knowing how upset she was, she would probably drop the girl off somewhere in her car and drive off, leaving her stranded.

Though Rose only wanted to get attention, Jasper's concerns were more serious. "What if someone comes looking for her?" he asked. "What if someone figures out what we've done? This could end so badly for the whole family." In his mind, Jasper was imagining Chief Swan remembering that Carlisle had been there before his daughter disappeared and coming after us. Or worse yet, he imagined the wolves learning we had broken the treaty and attacking the family. I wanted to remind him that there were no more werewolves.

Alice did my job for me. "There's no one here who's out to get us, Jazz, and if anyone gets suspicious, Edward and I will get us out before it's too late."

Jasper was still unhappy. Running away from suspicion would only affirm our guilt, and he didn't want our family to have any reputation that could get back to the Volturi.

They stopped talking when they heard our footsteps approaching the house, and Rose left the room with her nose in the air and Emmett at her heels. Isabella hopped onto the porch and tried to open one of the French doors. Instead, the handle came off.

She stared down at the severed piece of metal, shocked, then angry. Esme rushed to another door to let her in.

"Don't worry about it at all," she cooed. "It's okay. It actually happens all the time. We can replace it easily."

Isabella still looked like she was holding back tears, and I realized I should have told her that she couldn't cry. I should have told her all sorts of things, but I hadn't thought of any of them while we were out. I wondered how shocked she was going to be when she realized she would never sleep again. I secretly hoped she would be shocked enough to say something.

Esme continued in her soothing voice, "Come on, you're all mussed up. How about we get you in a shower, huh?" Isabella nodded, and Esme led her upstairs.

Alice shot up suddenly, beyond excited. I hadn't been paying attention, and I missed her vision. I looked at her and she answered me. _I just saw Isabella needing a _whole lot_ of new clothes!_

I laughed, and Jasper tugged on her hand to get her attention. He let her feel his curiosity instead of voicing his question.

"Shopping!" Alice answered.

Jasper laughed too, and for the first moment since Carlisle came home three days ago, the room was easy and lighthearted.

While Isabella showered, I thought I'd take five minutes to do my homework due the next day. It was only a few worksheets and an essay, and though boring, it was so easy I hardly even found it annoying.

The sun set while she showered. It was unusual for a vampire to take a shower that lasted thirty-six minutes and counting, but I assumed Isabella was just standing under the water and working through her brain. It wasn't really so odd. I didn't know why I was counting the minutes she was in the shower.

Emmett had rejoined us in the living room, though Rose was still working on her car. She was not currently as angry as she had been, but she had started a difficult job on her car and was determined to see it through. Jasper and Emmett had picked up an elaborate chess game they had started days ago, and Alice and Esme were drawing some new designs for when we next changed house. Alice was especially wired about this activity now that there was a large possibility we would be moving soon.

I picked up a book off the shelf, knowing it wouldn't last me very long with how fast we could read, and settled into a sofa. I tried not to listen to the sound of the shower running upstairs, but it permeated my conscious anyway. Thirty-eight minutes.

Why was I still counting?

* * *

><p><strong>Edward is a little thick, isn't he? That was my favorite part of Midnight Sun, Edward showing outward signs of interest but rationalizing them away. Brace yourself– a lot of that is coming up soon!<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

Bella:

I stayed in the shower a long time.

A _vampire_. I assumed Edward was wrong, or lying, or kidding, or something, but I had drank all the blood out of giant deer, so I really didn't have much room for denial. Except that _vampires aren't real_. Maybe I was dead. Or maybe I was in some sort of freaky dream that was just hyper realistic and long. How long would I even have to be asleep for a dream like this to happen? Was I in a coma somewhere? Maybe after the car crash–

Charlie. With all the things my brain had obsessed over this since I woke up, I hadn't had to common decency to even _remember_ my father! I tried to think back to the fire time. I knew I heard Carlisle say something about my father then, something about the car accident. What did he say?! I needed to focus. Car accident, bend in the road, snow, jeep, driver through windshield. Was Charlie the driver who went through the windshield? No. No, he called an ambulance for Charlie. He said he saw him at the hospital. He had a broken leg and a concussion. He was alive.

I slumped against the tiled wall and sighed. Alive. That was what mattered.

Was I alive? Some philosopher I couldn't remember had said, 'I think therefore I am.' I was certainly thinking, if the amount of fretting I'd been doing in this shower counted for anything. Did that mean I was alive? Did vampires count as alive? I put my hand over my heart, and tried to feel it beating. All I felt was the rise and fall of my breath. I was suddenly so angry. I didn't want this– any of this! Carlisle had put me through the fires of hell to make me into a blood-sucking monster, and from what I could tell, everybody downstairs hated me already! I didn't ask him to do this to me! I didn't ask him to destroy me and bring me into a household where everyone talked about me like I was a deformed dog they'd been forced to take care of! I didn't want to be in this limbo of dead or not dead and be so bombarded with everything that I can barely manage to talk!

Had I even said anything since I'd woken up? I scanned through very few hours I'd been awake. I remembered meaning to say things, but no, I hadn't spoken a single word to any of them. No wonder they hated me. If we were all vampires, they were certainly better-made than I was. They could all think and talk and accomplish things without making themselves out to be complete weirdoes. They could open doors without breaking the handles.

But I guess this was just one of the many drawbacks to this life Carlisle had condemned me to. My hatred for him felt like a heat inside me. The anger was all consuming, and I had to refrain myself form punching the wall, because I was sure I would break the tile before it broke my hand. I tried to calm down. I tried to think of anything else. There had to be something nice to think about.

I wasn't clumsy anymore, which was a huge perk. I couldn't believe that I could be so graceful and not fall over everything, but I hadn't so much as stumbled since I awoke. I could see and hear so much now, it was like discovering the whole world all over again, and though it was overwhelming, it was beautiful. Running was so exciting. I had never liked to run before, but this was like nothing I'd ever experienced. It was like flying on the ground, and the obstacles just seemed to shy away from me of their own accord and it was so easy to follow the gentle pull of Edward's hand.

I decided that I'd better get out of the shower and face them all, but Esme had turned the shower on for me and I didn't dare touch it for fear of breaking that too.

Maybe if I just barely brushed it with my hand, it would move and I wouldn't destroy it. I tried to place my fingers on it as carefully as I could.

I at least succeeded at not breaking it, but I hadn't moved it either. How much harder was I supposed to push? I tried to apply just a little pressure with one finger. The handle suddenly jerked downward and creaked. I worried that I had broken it, but it looked pretty okay and the water was off.

I stepped out of the shower and picked up the towel that Esme had left for me. I intended to dry off, but I ended up wiping the fog off the bathroom mirror instead. I had seen myself in it on the way in, but Esme had been talking, and I had been trying to focus on her.

I was beautiful now. Nearly as beautiful as the group downstairs, but I could still find some of my familiar flaws in my reflection, and my eyes were a terrifying bright red. All their eyes were varying shades of yellow. What was wrong with me? My eyes prickled like I was crying, but nothing came out of them. The same thing had happened earlier on the porch, too. I guess vampires weren't the kind of monsters that cried.

God, I was a _monster_, wasn't I? I was a fairytale creature that scares children. I was a creature that made humans fear for their lives for hundreds of years. I didn't feel like a monster, though, I just felt confused. There were no Halloween stories or horror movies about the monsters being scared and lost, were there? But then again, there weren't any wherein the monsters kept quietly to themselves in a big white house, either.

Did they keep to themselves? What if the vampires who lived here stalked people into dark places at night? Sure, I had drank the blood of a deer, but what if that was because they were saving the good stuff for the nighttime hours? Vampires are nocturnal, aren't they? Thinking about the fire time, I don't know that any of them slept in the months I was burning. Or maybe they had, and I just ignored the silence so thoroughly that it was like it didn't exist.

Was I actually out for months? It felt like that when it was happening, but now I wasn't sure. Maybe it wasn't so long. I couldn't imagine it was longer– I don't think my brain could have edited out the extra time if it were.

I was still dripping wet, I realized then. My hair was leaving a puddle on the floor. I dried myself in seconds, then dragged the floor mat over to soak up the puddle. I wrapped my hair up in the towel, and put on the clothes Esme had laid out for me. They didn't fit so well, but I was so glad that I didn't have to put back on the white dress– or, I should say, the red dress. The blood on it had dried on our run back, but the steam in the room pulled out just enough of the scent to make the burn in my throat insist it be noticed. Maybe I should have stayed out longer with Edward earlier. I didn't know when the next time I would get to drink blood would be.

I hoped I'd been wrong earlier about them killing humans at night. I didn't want to kill anyone, but I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop myself. I certainly hadn't had a choice with the deer– I smelled it, and then it was dead.

God, I didn't want to be a murderer. But was there any way I couldn't?

* * *

><p><strong>And here we have an entire chapter of Bella in the showerbathroom. I know how to be exciting, huh?**


	8. Chapter 8

Edward:

I glanced over as Isabella came downstairs in some of Esme's clothes. She looked out of place in them, and I briefly wished she hadn't dirtied the white dress Alice had produced. The dress had fit better than these clothes, which hung somewhat awkwardly on her, but to be honest, the dress wasn't quite her size either. Alice had gotten it with the intention of altering it and then gifting it to Rosalie. I could only imagine what Rose would do if she found out Isabella had ended up with something originally intended for her. I didn't doubt that she would think the girl had stolen it from her somehow.

She lingered at the bottom of the stairs, and I couldn't help but look over again to see what she had stopped for. Of course, I wouldn't have had to look if I could just read her mind. She was playing with the hem of her shirt. I wondered if she didn't like the way the clothes fit either. Maybe this was why Alice had seen a shopping trip so soon in the future. Maybe she would hate any of the clothes we tried to give her. I wondered how she would refuse us, though. By shaking her head one by one until we'd gone through everything? Or breaking out into a wild game of charades where she would mime out the words 'mall' and 'high-end clothing.'

I chuckled at the idea, and she looked over to me. She opened her moth like she was going to say something, and a great swell of anticipation rose in my chest. Of course, she closed her mouth with a sigh instead and turned her gaze from me.

Disappointment crumbled within me. I wanted to make her look at me again, but I didn't know how that would prompt her to speak finally. Maybe if I asked her about the clothes. She had to be thinking about them for Alice to be getting visions.

"Are you comfortable in Esme's clothes, Isabella?" I asked her.

Her head whipped up to me, and her eyes were wide, like she wasn't expecting that I would have talked to her at all. After a second, she nodded carefully. She looked so worried, and I tried to find another way my words could have been interpreted but found none.

I decided to explain myself anyway. "I was only wondering because we're planning to get you some of your own. Is there anything in particular you'd like? Favorite styles or colors?"

She didn't answer, again, but stared at me like my question had made no sense. Then she looked off slightly, like some thought had distracted her. I waited for her to answer, probably with just a shake of her head, but she seemed to have completely forgotten me. Again.

"Isabella," I said, grabbing her attention.

"Bella," she answered almost automatically.

I was floored. " Bella?" I asked. Most of my family was listening now, too. None of them were so shocked as I was, but they were all a little surprised to finally hear her speak– Esme was even smiling to herself about it. Why was I so shocked by it? I figured it must have been because I thought hearing her real voice would help me find her mental voice. It didn't, of course.

She answered me, "Yeah. Not Isabella, just Bella."

Well there it was: my first glimpse into the mind of Bella Swan. Of course, I didn't think I would ever get a _real_ glimpse into her mind, but any bit of information counted.

I smiled at her. "Alright, Bella. Any clothes you want?"

She shook her head. "Anything works."

I guess I shouldn't have been expecting much of a speech out of her, but I wished she would say more. Instead, she went back to worrying the hem of her shirt with her fingers and glancing around like she didn't know what to do with herself.

"Would you like a book, Bella?" I asked her. I knew she wouldn't really be able to read it. Newborns pretty much had the attention span on a goldfish with ADD, but at least she would have something in her hands, and if she was feeling self conscious, she could pretend to read while she thought.

"Yes please," she squeaked. I approached the bookshelf and she met me there. I wondered what she might like to read.

Jasper, without glancing up from his and Emmett's chess game, thought, _Nice call. She was coiled pretty tight, but she seems better now_.

I smiled at that. I was glad I could make her more at ease. I saw her eyes caught on Romeo and Juliet, so I grabbed it and held it out to her. She looked hesitant about grabbing it.

"Don't worry about destroying it. These things run five cents on Amazon." She still looked apprehensive, so I continued to persuade her. "You should have seen the havoc I wreaked my first few weeks. I broke everything in the house, and when we got it all replaced, I broke it all again."

She smiled at that, and took the book. I returned to my place on the sofa, and Bella followed. I sat at one edge, and she sat at the other. She nestled herself into the cushions, tucked her legs under herself, and very carefully opened her book.

She turned the pages slowly and carefully, and she paused for a long time on each page– longer by far than it would take her to read it. I would bet that if I could read her mind, I would see that she wasn't reading the story at all, but thinking of other things and pretending to read.

_Is she actually _reading_ that?_ Jasper's voice asked in my head. The question seemed more rhetorical than not, but I started to shake my head anyway. But I stopped. Jasper was analyzing the girl's emotional state. Since she woke up, she had been running thought emotions so quickly that Jasper had been getting whiplash. More than anything else, she'd been confused, frantic, and sometimes scared, and he could feel her reeling while she tried to keep up with the new speed of her thoughts.

But now, Jasper realized, her emotions were calmer. The crashing ocean had settled to steady waves. Not flat water like a truly calm, peaceful person, but a more manageable surf. And on top of that, Jasper could feel how focused she was. Could she actually be reading?

_Maybe she just _really_ likes Romeo and Juliet_, Jasper concluded, remembering her excitement when I'd offered her the book.

He turned his attention back to his game. Emmett was finally making a move, and it was the first in a grand attack plan he'd been working on. He didn't know that Jasper could see his endgame a mile away, and already had several contingencies ready.

But I was obsessed on Bella. She was such a _strange_ newborn. Perhaps I couldn't read her mind because it was like no mind I'd ever encountered. As far as I could tell, Bella was utterly unique, and I was determined to understand her.

Bella:

God, I loved Romeo and Juliet. It was one of the books I most often read before… everything, and just having it in my hands was therapeutic. I managed to open it without ripping it, which was a miracle. My eyes scanned the first page, and I immediately absorbed the text on it. My brain processed every word almost instantly, and I was angry at it! Now I wasn't going to be able to enjoy reading because of this stupid new head!

I inhaled once, to calm myself. I was sure that if I tried, I could deliberately read it slowly, savor each word and take them in and let them paint a picture in my mind like they used to.

It wasn't easy. The gears in my head were running in 5th gear, and it was a constant effort to slow them down. But I focused on the book, one familiar word at a time. Regardless, I got distracted repeatedly. My mind kept wandering.

I was really glad that Edward had somehow known to give me a book. He seemed to be able to respond to people before they spoke, and I wondered if maybe he had some sixth sense for knowing what people wanted. But then again, if he knew what I wanted, why would he ask me about the clothes? Unless he already knew I felt awkward in them and was only asking to be polite.

Okay, so that theory needed more work.

I tried to get back into Romeo and Juliet, but only a few pages later, I was thinking again. The vampires all seemed so _normal_. Here I had been worried that we were going to spend the night hunting the souls of the innocent, but I felt like I was in a more stereotypical household than my family had ever been. A father off at work for the evening, two brothers playing a game together, a sister working on a toy in the garage (I could hear Rosalie's metal tools clank against whatever she was building. A car, maybe?), a mother planning household renovation and redecoration with her daughter throwing in suggestions and helping draw up ideas, a brother a sitting on a couch reading a book quietly.

Here I had spent all this time worried about the vampires being monsters, it hadn't even occurred to me that they were a family. I could tell from the way they were talking and acting with each other that there was a lot of love in the family. Could I count myself as part of that family? They didn't seem to care about me like they cared about each other, but I was sitting here too. Did they see me as the shy sister, or the awkward houseguest?

I thought of Rosalie yelling about how I had messed everything up for her, and I thought about Jasper calmly asserting that I was a danger. Surely they would like me out of their hair. I was a burden to them. Emmett and the little black haired girl, whose name I still hadn't caught, didn't seem to mind me either way. Esme treated me like any gracious host would treat a guest in her home. Carlisle was gone so quickly, but I felt like I was more his responsibility than his family– a patient in a hospital, not a daughter. He had such a doctor-like demeanor. I wondered if that was his job. But surely, no vampire could be the doctor to a bleeding patient. But maybe they could manage to be around people. Maybe he was a therapist; he definitely had the right voice for it.

Edward… I didn't know about Edward. He had shown that he was concerned about my well being, but more than that. He was kind and gentle and attentive. He had volunteered to take me to allay my thirst, and he helped me feel at ease when I was freaking out at the bottom of the stairs like an awkward mute. If anyone here considered me family, it would be him, and for that, I was unequivocally grateful.

* * *

><p><strong>Aw, she likes him. <strong>

**Thank you to everyone who has reviewed! I've been so busy the last few days, I haven't had time to respond to everyone as I like to. Sorry!**


	9. Chapter 9

Edward:

Bella continued to read her book very slowly for hours, sometimes stopping and staring off into space, but always going back to it. I wondered what she was thinking about in those pauses.

Carlisle came home around midnight. He had taken over the late shift a week ago to cover for another doctor, who went on vacation to Aruba with his wife. I heard his thoughts from the highway, as I usually could. He was worried about having left us all alone with the newborn, whom he considered his responsibility. He was already preparing an apology and planning to leave immediately with her to go hunting. He parked his car and flitted into the house, only to be stopped short by the sight in front of him.

_What…?_ His thoughts tried to process what he was seeing. Everyone was home and quiet and peaceful, and Bella was sitting with me, reading. A little apprehensively, he approached us.

_I don't understand. How is this possible?_ He asked me. I shrugged, and Bella glanced at me when I did.

Carlisle turned his attention to the girl, "How was your day, Isabella?" he asked her.

"Bella," I interjected. Carlisle looked at me, and I elaborated. "She prefers to be called Bella."

Carlisle nodded, "Alright, Bella. So how was your day? Or your evening, I should say."

She looked at him sheepishly, glanced to me, shrugged, and said, "Fine." Then she turned back into her book.

Carlisle looked to me for confirmation, and I nodded.

_Incredible. I've never seen a newborn so calm. Is Jasper responsible for this?_

I shook my head.

_Incredible_, he repeated. _Perhaps some people are just better suited for this life than others_, he surmised.

I laughed once, imagining how Rosalie would act if Carlisle suggested that aloud.

Carlisle retired to his study to run over some new medical journals, and after a few hours, the sun began to rise. I got up to take a shower, because I'd been out hunting earlier. Bella, just finishing her book, looked at me, startled. I wanted to reassure her that I would be right back, but it felt like a sort of stupid thing to say, so instead I just said, "I'm going to take a shower before school."

She looked confused, but if I didn't get in the shower now, I wouldn't have time to without being late for my first class. As I went upstairs, I heard Alice start to tell Bella about all of us going to high school. Through Alice's eyes, I saw that Bella didn't seem to understand the whole concept, and I wonder what about it confused her. Maybe she didn't get how vampires could be around so many humans all day, or maybe she didn't see why we would want to be enrolled in high school at all. But she didn't ask whatever questions she had, and I turned my attention back toward getting my towel and getting in the shower.

* * *

><p><strong>I know, this one is a shorty. Hopefully I can put up the next chapter in a couple hours.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, this one isn't much longer, but I'm gonna just say two in one day makes up for it**

* * *

><p><span>Bella:<span>

Just a little while after Edward left to shower, everyone else started getting ready for the day, too. I guess if I'd wanted proof that vampires don't sleep, this was it. They'd stayed up all night, and when the morning came, none of them enclosed themselves in coffins to await the darkness again. They just went along with the morning like normal people do. They changed their clothes, brushed their hair, pulled together their school bags, Edward showered–but nobody else did – and the five of them piled into a silver car and drove off.

I wondered if they were going to the same school that I would have gone to if I hadn't, well, died. Carlisle and Esme were understanding enough of my shyness to leave me alone most of the day. I wanted to wander around the house, but it seemed so rude and intrusive. I considered going for a run, but with the way the family talked about me, I figured I wasn't allowed anywhere with supervision, and I wasn't about to ask Carlisle or Esme to take me out. I already felt enough like some burdensome puppy. The last thing I wanted to do was scratch at their door with my leash in my mouth begging for a walk.

I stayed in the living room and looked through the book shelf. There wasn't much there that I would want to read. There were a whole lot of medical books, and some other technical looking, thick volumes that I expected to see in a PhD classroom, not a living room. A few of the books were about the Civil War, I could tell, but some of them looked almost as old _as_ the Civil War, and I was too afraid to touch them. Even with how careful I was with Romeo and Juliet, I'd managed to rip almost half of the pages a little, and I'd accidentally pulled out an entire page of Act three, Scene five.

I was trying to decide between two neglected looking paperbacks, a modern novel I'd never heard of and an old classic I'd never liked, when Carlisle approached me.

"Are you thirsty, Bella? I could take you out for a hunt," he offered.

I was thirsty, and I wanted to leave the house so badly, but I felt so weird inconveniencing Carlisle, who was almost definitely some important doctor, if all the medical books were any indication.

"No," I lied. "I'd rather just read some more, if that's okay." I reached towards the shelf and ended up grabbing the modern novel. Carlisle was looking at me like he didn't really believe me, but he nodded and left me be anyway.

I tried to focus on the book, but it was really bad, and I couldn't convince myself to keep reading it when my brain wanted to whirl off in other directions. After a while of attempted reading, I heard Carlisle and Esme whispering upstairs. I was immediately worried about what they might be whispering about, and I had to remind myself they the two of them were good people and that I shouldn't be worried. At least, they seemed like good people. I hadn't really known them that long.

Just as the jitters were really starting to get to me, Esme came to me in the living room. She sat down in the armchair and smiled at me. Seeing Esme smiling put me at ease. Kindness just radiated out of her, and I was ashamed that I had even been thinking that she was plotting something horrible with Carlisle. Was it really so bad for people to have private conversations?

"I was just going to go out for a hunt, would you like to come with me?" she asked. It was suddenly obvious what they had whispered. Carlisle had told her about my reluctance to leave with him, and she was now giving it a try. She was even pretending she was already going independent of me, so I wouldn't feel like I was inconveniencing her. Who would have guess that vampires were so polite?

I didn't really want to go. I was thirsty, and I wanted out of the house, but the idea of prolonged one-on-one time with anyone when I could be hiding in a corner with a book was unappealing.

"Sure," I agreed anyway. I felt like it would be rude to turn her down now.

Esme smiled at me like I'd agreed to be the maid of honor at her wedding and stood up. I stood up to, and a phone rang. Esme reached into her pocket and answered it, but before she could say hello, the voice on the other end spoke.

Esme nodded to herself, said, "Alright, thank you, Alice" then hung up. Then she turned to me. "We're in luck. A large herd had wondered pretty close to us, so we won't have to run as far as you did yesterday."

Had Alice told her that? Was Alice the tiny dark haired girl? How did she know where the deer were? How did she know the exact _second_ we were leaving? Just when things were beginning to make a little bit of sense, that happened.

I held my questions, worried that Esme would not want to answer them, and nodded. We ran out of the house, and I followed Esme, a few paces behind, until we found the herd.

I brought down two smaller deer this time and Esme had one of her own. Though I was still thirsty, I lied to Esme when she asked because I wanted to get back to the house and hopefully out of the long awkward silences that stretched between us.

We went back home, and I went back to my horrible book.

After a while longer, I heard the sound of the Volvo engine on the freeway coming towards us. I was so excited for the other people to be home. It was so much easier to disappear into a crowd than just sitting around with Carlisle and Esme. The car didn't turn down the drive, though. It stopped for a couple seconds, then drove off. Three pairs of footsteps ran towards the house and I desperately wished one of them would be Edward's.

I tried to hide my disappointment when Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper entered the house, but I think Jasper at least noticed it anyway.


	11. Chapter 11

Edward:

After school, Alice and I went to the mall in Port Angeles together. Alice had intended to go alone to buy Bella's wardrobe alone, but it occurred to me that I could get Bella some more books if I went too, and the second I considered it, Alice was so excited about our sibling-bonding-mall-trip that I couldn't tell her no. The streets were pretty empty, which was to be expected for going somewhere in the middle of the day in the middle of the week on this highway. Alice had taken the wheel of the car, and she was so excited that she sped more so than we usually do. I caught her wishing that she had a nice sports car to really take out for a spin, and she considered getting Rose to take a road trip with her in her convertible. She looked to the near future for a good time to go, and saw that two weekends from now would be sunny.

"Not good for a road trip, but perfect for a hunting expedition," she suggested. I knew Emmett had been dying for a good long trip, and I thought maybe if we all went, it would appease him.

Alice frowned, the idea of bringing Bella on a hunting trip made the whole thing go iffy. Everything became hard to follow and the possibilities branched out into thousands of futures.

"Okay, so maybe not then," I said.

"Yeah, it might be a bad idea," she admitted.

We arrived at the mall in record time, and Alice rushed in and made a beeline for the most expensive store Port Angeles could afford. I followed her dutifully, but she stopped short just outside of the store's doors. An unexpected vision hit her. She would buy Bella all of the best and most expensive fashion she could find, and Bella would hate it all.

_How can she not like Valentino?!_ Alice mentally screeched. She tried planning different things. She decided to buy her Prada instead, then Fendi, Armani, and Chanel, and she saw the same reactions. Everything from politely suggesting she just borrow more of Esme's clothes to frustrated screaming about deathtrap shoes.

I thought that maybe Bella would just like some regular clothes from the little Gap store, and Alice's visions shifted to Bella wearing a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and looking completely at ease. I didn't blame her. The Bella in those visions pulled off the casual look– though maybe it was just because she finally looked like she wasn't crawling in her own skin.

_No. We are _not_ going to the GAP!_ Alice protested. She was upset enough already that Bella had such a 'horrible, backwards fashion sense,' so I didn't fight her on it. Alice ended up buying Bella an armful of fancy and expensive dresses and outfits, but with a little convincing, conceded to also buy her some pairs of high-end jeans and Prada luxury tee shirts. In all of her visions, those were the only things Bella was going to wear.

The other thing Alice could see clearly in all of her vision was Rosalie's jealously. We both knew Rose had more than enough clothes, and couldn't compare herself to Bella who literally had none. I wanted to ignore the vision, if Rose was going to be snooty and petty, then let her.

Alice saw the future in which I was telling off Rose for acting like a child.

_Come on, Edward, play nice. She's our sister_, Alice thought as she pulled up a red dress in Rose's size. The future shifted again, and in this one, Rose was smiling instead of pouting.

I still thought she was acting like a spoiled brat, but I conceded that it would be nice to see Rose happy about something. She'd certainly taken the addition of Bella to the family the hardest.

_There's no reason for us to ignore her if we know how to cheer her up, even if she is been overdramatic_, Alice chided. She was right of course, and Rosalie was going to love it when we came home with jeans and tee shirts for Bella and ball gowns for her.

After we had too many bags, or just enough bags, as Alice thought of them, I considered again going to the bookstore.

"I think it's a great idea!" Alice said, seeing my intent. She couldn't concretely see Bella's reaction to the books yet, because I hadn't decided which ones I would buy her, but most of the options were at least pleasant.

Once we were in the bookstore, I pulled up a handful of Shakespeare, because she had loved Romeo and Juliet so much. Then I picked up some classical novels, and when Alice saw that she would love them, I grabbed as many of the famous classics I could find.

I brought the mountain of books to the cash register, and plopped them down on the counter.

_Woah. Moving to a desert island? I wonder if this guy has ever heard of eBooks_, the cashier thought. She was a tall, black haired girl, and her thoughts indicated that the end of her shift was upon her.

"Did you find everythi–" _Oh my God, he's hot._ "Um… find everything okay? Uh, sir?" _Sir? What the hell is wrong with me, he's like my age. Why is he buying all these books? I'm sure he can find better _entertainment_ anywhere he likes._

"Yes, I found everything just fine," I answered, desperately trying to cut off her thoughts before they went to things I didn't want to see.

A little embarrassed with herself, she checked me out and piled the books into two over-sized bags. I pretended they were heavy when I lifted them.

Alice, always in a hurry to make it to the future, rushed us out of the mall and back to the car. For once, I was sharing in her pace. I wanted to see the look on Bella's face when I gave her the big bags of books.

* * *

><p><strong>I feel like this story is moving to slowly, but every time I try to speed it up, someone else has something to brood over. Anyway, I hope everyone's liking it still :)<strong>


	12. Chapter 12

**This chapter is really short, but I have a few chapters backed up, so I'm just gonna post a bunch right now :D**

* * *

><p><span>Edward:<span>

Alice burst into the house like a hurricane knocking down the door, and made a beeline to Bella, who was trying to watch TV with a few discarded books tossed around her.

Jasper sensed my confusion as I picked one of the many books off the floor.

_She kept trying to read, but got frustrated every time. Eventually she turned on the TV, but she hasn't really been paying attention to it_, he explained.

She was paying attention to Alice, now, and honestly, she looked a bit scared. Alice was practically dumping the bags of new clothing onto the sofa and accosting Bella with them.

"I saw that you'd really like this one, if I could convince you to just wear it once," she lied, holding up one of the expensive dresses. "And this one is from Italy! It's technically last season, but it was one of the best things from last season, so I thought you wouldn't mind. And here we have–"

"Alice!" Carlisle cut her off. "Bring it down a notch, you're scaring the girl.

"No I'm not!" Alice protested. She turned to Bella. "Am I scaring you?"

Bella looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and she glanced frantically between Alice, Carlisle, and me.

Alice sighed. "Fine." She dropped most of her many clothing bags on the sofa and said, "Here you go. Put on whatever you like." She could see Bella putting on jeans and a tee shirt again, and she scowled. She took the remaining bags and ran off with them. "Rose! You'll do a fashion show with me, right?! I see you agreeing to it!"

Rosalie met her on the stairs, excited and grinning. It pleased her to no end that Alice was showing a preference for her over the girl, and for the first time, I realized that under all of Rose's anger was insecurity. Everyone was accepting and helping the girl, and Rose felt as though the new sister was overshadowing her place in the family. Sure, it was petty, but I was glad Alice had seen to buy Rose new clothes. She just needed to be reminded that the family cared about her, too.

_Hey Edward_, Emmett called out, greeting my attention. I turned to acknowledge him. _Are the clothes you guys got for Rose hot?_ He asked excitedly.

I rolled my eyes at him, but nodded.

"Hey, wait up, Rosie! I wanna see this fashion show!" he yelled as be bolted up the stairs and followed the girls into his and Rose's room.

Bella was apprehensively riffling through the clothes Alice had left for her. She looked worried for a while, but the concern vanished from her face when she found something. She pulled out the regular, mid-wash pair of jeans Alice had begrudgingly gotten for her. Then she excitedly dug deeper until she found one of the Prada tee shirts.

With her treasures in hand, she ran off to the bathroom to change. A minute later, she was back. She looked so comfortable in the new clothes, it had almost changed her as a person. Her shoulders weren't trying to close in on themselves, and she was standing straighter. Her expression was relieved, and when she caught me looking at her, she smiled at me like she knew I had been the one to talk Alice into buying her the clothes.

Alice, though upstairs, had been keeping an eye on Bella's clothing choice, and was promising to fix her fashion sense soon enough. I didn't think there was anything wrong with her fashion sense. I thought she looked amazing.

Bella returned to the sofa and stated stuffing the rest of the clothes into the bags Alice had flung them out of. Suddenly, I remembered the books I had gotten for her. I placed these bags on the sofa with the others, and Bella looked up at me warily, perhaps afraid that I had more clothes for her. She looked at the bags and noticed with green pattern on them, and her eyes shot back up to me hopefully.

I smiled at her, and pulled one of the books out of the bag. Wuthering Heights. "I didn't know what you liked, so I just grabbed some of the usual suspects." I held the book out to her. She grabbed it excitedly and examined it for a moment.

She clutched the book to her chest and looked up at me like I was an angel from heaven. "_Thank you_," she said, and the words were so heartfelt and sincere, I felt like an angel.

I beamed at her, so glad I brought some light into her life. "You're welcome."

Bella immediately dove into the volume I'd delivered to her, and I pulled out the copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream that I'd gotten for her, just so that I could stay on the couch with her, even with the wall of bags between us.

* * *

><p><strong>Brace yourselves for the chapter dump!<strong>

**Also, can I just say, I really didn't like how stuff happened with Rosalie in the books. I know she was being silly and petty, mostly, but you would think that her family would have her back in some measure at least! So that's what I've done here (and it will happen again in later chapters): People being even mildly nice to Rose, and Rose being more open to her family.**


	13. Chapter 13

Bella:

The next few days continued as such: In the morning, everyone but Carlisle and Esme left the house to go to _high school_. It just seemed so ridiculous. Talk about wolves in sheep's clothing. Carlisle always asked me if I wanted to go hunting, and I always turned him down. Esme would ask next, and I would politely turn her away too. I just couldn't get past the idea that they had better things to do than take me out for a walk like I was their pet dog. In the afternoon, the rest of the family would come home. Rose would pointedly ignore Carlisle, and Jasper too was short with him. I imagined that they more than the others would take a long time to forgive him for inflicting me on the family. Alice would tell us where we could find some nice wild animals– maybe that was her superpower, sensing the closest deer – and Edward would take me out hunting. When we came home, he would either join one of his siblings in some game or activity, or he would read with me on the sofa.

It was different when Edward asked me to go hunting with him. I always felt I was making Carlisle and Esme nervous, and I could always feel their eyes on my back at every moment. Hunting with Edward was different. He was totally at ease when we were out together, and he didn't seem so afraid that I was seconds away from bolting. Sometimes, he even got a deer for himself. He also didn't try to make small talk, which was a relief.

Other than that, I would sit and read, mostly, or loaf around and try not to think about the more unpleasant worries that stalked me. It bothered me that my memories of Phoenix and my dad were all blurry and uncertain, and I obsessively tried to take account of everything for fear that otherwise I would forget it altogether. I also spent a significant amount of time worried that I had some sort of monster initiation around the corner. I was too afraid to bring it up, and instead tried to think of what I would do if on the night of the full moon a strung up, bleeding human was brought to me and the family stood around in dark colored cloaks while I drained their blood.

I shook the thought from my head. They were nice people. They were kind and polite and caring– most of them at least. I couldn't imagine any of them setting up such a dark ritual. Besides, full moons were a werewolf thing.

Were werewolves real too? I didn't think I could deal with it if they were. Perhaps I could ask Edward if I ever worked up the nerve to face him with all the questions I didn't _really_ want answered.

There was big one thing I realized now. I didn't hate Carlisle. I was so hung up on thinking of him as the one who had killed me, but as I looked over the end of my human life, I probably would have died anyway. Carlisle was a doctor. From what I heard in his 'how was your day, sweetie' conversations with Esme, he was a surgeon too. He probably realized that I was going to die out there, and he'd given me a second chance. Even if that second chance was a weird, thirsty life where my brain was weird and my body surprised me, and I couldn't handle any of my emotions. He had saved my life, and I had done nothing to thank him. Hell, I hadn't even said the words.

I decided easily that I had to fix that, but it took me a while to muster up the courage. It wasn't until Friday morning that I had resolved myself to it.

I watched as the siblings gathered their things and slid into the car, and I listened to them driving away. I was nervous enough about confronting Carlisle, and I didn't want an audience. I would have felt even better if Esme had an errand to run, too, but I wasn't going to wait around for a miracle.

I couldn't focus on reading while I procrastinated, so I turned on something trivial on TV. Carlisle was in his office reading, which was how he usually spent his early mornings, and Esme was applying paint swatches onto the wall in the kitchen to decide which one she liked best.

I took a deep breath, turned off the TV and flitted upstairs to Carlisle's study. The door was closed, and I suddenly felt very awkward and self-conscious. Carlisle obviously knew I was out here, but I wasn't sure I had permission to interrupt him. Would it be silly of me to knock? I did anyway.

"Come in," Carlisle voice said. I opened the door, but stayed standing in the doorway. I had never been in this room before– hell, I'd only been on this floor a couple times– and something felt wrong about invading Carlisle's personal space.

"Is everything alright?" he asked kindly. Kind Carlisle. That's why I was here, and I needed to remember it if I was going to fight the urge to bolt.

"Everything's fine," I answered.

He smiled at me and returned to his reading. I got the message, he was telling me I could stand in his doorway for as long as I liked.

I almost felt bad about interrupting his reading a second time, but I knew I had to say it.

"Thank you," I murmured, anxiety stopping my voice from being louder.

He put down his book and looked at me. I held his gaze, afraid to shy away now while the ball was already rolling. I felt so strange, and I realized that I'd made very little prolonged eye contact with anyone in such a long time.

I realized Carlisle didn't quite get what I had said, so I repeated myself. "Thank you," I said more confidently this time. "I was going to die, I know that, and I know that it wasn't an easy decision for you to make and I know that you regret it but I don't regret it so I wanted to tall you thank you for saving my life." I'd blurted it all out faster than I knew I could speak and it all just ran together. I dropped my eyes from his gaze. He was surprised, I could tell, and I felt like I was blushing, though my cheeks weren't hot like they usually got. I wondered if I even could blush any more.

"You're welcome," Carlisle said, still sounding a bit dumbfounded. "And I'm sorry," he added.

I looked at him again. This was the important part. "Don't be," I said. And apparently that was as much awkward conversation I could handle, but I flitted back downstairs and turned the TV back on to make my post-stress nerves go away.

* * *

><p><strong>Bella is finally starting to come out of her shell a little. Isn't that nice :)<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**Well this one certainly wins the prize for longest chapter so far. I hope you all enjoy it :)**

* * *

><p><span>Edward:<span>

I hated going to school. I had always hated going to school, really, and I wished we had enrolled in college again this time instead of _high school_, but Forks was such a perfect location weather-wise, and there wasn't really much to choose from in the way of colleges around here.

I had never hated it as much as I did now, though, and I was trying to figure out why that was. I suspected it was because of Bella. It was stupid of me to be spending every day pretending to learn things I already knew while Carlisle and Esme were shouldered with watching her. I should be at home helping them.

Of course, if I voiced that concern to Carlisle, he'd blow me off. He was acutely aware of how much time I was sacrificing to help him with what he considered solely his responsibility, and he felt guilty enough about it already. He'd never let me skip school just to cover for him more.

By the time Friday rolled around, I was more anxious for a weekend than I had ever been. We were sitting at our usual lunch table, picking at horrible smelling human food. Alice was talking to Jasper about taking a hunting trip over the weekend. She needed some time to not worry about the future, and he needed the blood. Rosalie was complaining to Emmett in whispers about Carlisle, and Emmett was listening intently to her, though his thoughts betrayed that even he wished she would get over her anger.

"It's disgusting how much Carlisle and Esme dote on her," she whined. I wanted to demand to know how trying to make Bella feel less uncomfortable and more at home by occasionally checking in with her qualified doting. And I wanted to remind her that she was nearly waited on hand and foot when she was a newborn. She demanded complete attention and complained until everything in our lives fit her needs.

Rosalie turned her head to me. "You must love school now, huh Edward? I know Carlisle says she refuses his offers to take her hunting. But I'm sure if you stopped taking her after school every day, she'd go with him eventually."

I was furious at her suggestion. I was so frustrated with Rosalie's endless complaining, it was actually making me furious.

My response came out sharper than I had intended. "You know what, Rose, at least when Bella and I go hunting, I get some peace and quiet."

Everyone at the table was shocked that I'd snapped at her. Rosalie huffed and turned away from me. Emmett's mental voice was as angry and disappointed as it got (which was not very) and he was thinking, _Come on, man. That was unnecessary._ He had been working so hard to pull Rosalie out of the mood she'd been in for the last few days, and he knew I had just put him back so many steps.

I felt bad. "Look, Rose, I'm sorry, okay? Short fuse, I guess." She still didn't acknowledge me. I knew two words that would help ease her annoyance. "You're right, I'm stressed. I didn't mean it."

She blew out the breath she'd been holding and looked at me finally, if not a little disdainfully.

"Fine," she conceded, and I could tell from her thoughts that she at least somewhat meant it. Good. The last thing I needed in my life right now was an angry Rosalie thinking constantly about how I'd wronged her.

The last classes of the day dragged on forever, and I considered a few times just standing up in the middle of Spanish class and walking out. What was Mrs. Goff going to say? She knew I spoke Spanish better that she did.

I lasted the hour, barely, and rushed to the car. It took my siblings a couple minutes to join me, because they were doing a better job at acting human than I was. I sped home, without saying a word. By now, my siblings were used to my bad moods, and tried not to think too much of them.

When we walked into the house, Bella didn't even look up from the sofa, like she usually did. She usually smiled at us when we came home. She usually looked at me and smiled and put down her book or turned off the TV and got ready to leave with me. The fact that she wasn't doing that now inexplicably made my bad mood even worse.

I approached her, "Aren't we going hunting?" I asked, more tersely than I had meant to.

She glanced at me for a fraction of a second, but buried her nose back in her book. "No I'm not thirsty," she muttered so quickly it was almost one word. I couldn't place the emotion on her face, hidden in Pride and Prejudice as it was, but Jasper placed it for me. He got nervous whenever the newborn did something different, concerned that even the slightest change of temperament could end in her fleeing and exposing us or being provoked to attack. He didn't find inclinations to either of those options, but apparently Bella was intensely embarrassed. I wondered if Carlisle knew what the source of it was. I pretended to be nonchalant as I wandered upstairs and drifted towards Carlisle's office. He knew better.

_Worried what's under Bella's skin?_ He asked.

"Yeah," I admitted.

_I think she's just embarrassed,_ he guessed correctly. He ran over his memory of earlier that day, when Bella had approached him, flustered and self-conscious, and spoken more consecutive words than I had ever even imagined her saying.

He smiled at the memory.

"Is that all?" I asked. It seemed too inconsequential to be such a big source of embarrassment for her, but then again, she certainly was shy enough.

_That's all. Unless she's preoccupied with something else too._

"Alright. What's your work schedule this weekend?" I asked. Carlisle almost always picked up extra shifts on the weekend, and I was hoping he had again. I didn't know why I was hoping he wouldn't be around, except that it raised my chances of being the person who took Bella hunting. I knew he intended to lift that burden from my shoulders this weekend, if she would allow him. I just didn't want him to be going out of his way to save me from something I didn't want to be saved from.

_I actually have most of the weekend off,_ he stated proudly. _So you can finally take a break. I'm sure Bella will understand when I tell her she'll be hunting with me tomorrow._ He smiled at me, expecting me to be gracious. I smiled back, forcing it in an attempt to not disappoint him. Great, now not only did Bella refuse to go out with me tonight, but she would leave me behind all weekend.

Why did I care if Bella hunted with Carlisle instead of me? It wasn't a big deal, and I should be glad for the reprieve. I told my family I liked the peace and quiet of being with Bella, but that wasn't even really true. I was dying to know her mind almost every second I was with her. If I really wanted peace and quiet, I could always just escape to my meadow. I could go there tomorrow while Carlisle was out with Bella. I could go there right now.

Carlisle realized my bad mood. _Is everything alright?_ he asked.

"Fine," I answered. "I've just been in a bad mood all day. I think I'm going to go for a run." I told him.

Carlisle eyed me suspiciously. He didn't understand where my mood had come from. _Alright, then_.

I left his office and dropped my nearly empty book bag in my room before I left. Carlisle was right to question my mood. I didn't know where it had come from either, but it felt like a lead weight in my stomach. I heard Esme's concern for me as I passed the kitchen, and I wished she wouldn't worry. Jasper was worried to.

_Do you need a calming influence?_ he asked.

"No. Just some fresh air," I grumbled back. I left the house and ran toward the river. I stopped for a second at the river bank, deciding whether I wanted to lie in my meadow or just run as far as I could. I didn't really want to do either.

I heard footsteps approaching, but no voice, and that could only be one person. An ounce of excitement thrilled through me.

There was a long silent moment after she reached me.

"Yes, Bella?" I finally said, without even turning to look at her. I suddenly realized how jealous I was. She had talked to Carlisle and it was more than just a 'yes' 'no' or 'fine.' She had _initiated_ a conversation. _Why_ wouldn't she talk to _me_?! It was almost as if she knew I was dying to read her mind and she was doing everything in her power to keep me out.

She didn't say anything.

I quickly turned around to face her, and snapped, "What is it? What do you want?"

I regretted it immediately. Her eyes went wide with surprise and her bottom lip began to tremble. She bit it in an attempt to make it stop, but I could still see the hurt in her eyes.

I reached out to her, but she leaned away from my hand.

I was so frustrated with myself! Was there anything I could do today that wouldn't go wrong?!

"I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Forgive me," I said.

She was still looking at me like I had scared her. I hated it. I had done everything I could to put myself in her good graces and she _did_ favor me for it. She turned down my parents every day on their hunting invitations and waited for me. She refused to sit near anyone else, opting to read in the dining room rather than share the couch with anyone, unless the other person was me. She barely even acknowledged the presence of anyone, but she smiled at me when I went near her. She trusted me, and I wanted her to trust me, and I might have just ruined that.

I _really_ didn't want to have ruined it.

"Forgive me?" I asked, but it sounded like a plea.

She nodded slowly, but apprehensively, and her apprehension stifled my relief. _At least she agreed to forgive me at all,_ I thought.

"I'm going for a run," I told her, trying to speak softly. "Would you like to come with me?"

She glanced back at the house, probably deciding she would be better off back on the sofa than trying to accomplish whatever she'd met me out here for, but she looked back at me and nodded again.

There was a warmth in my stomach, buddied up with the lead. I was so glad that at least one apology today wasn't in vain.

I smiled at her. "Let's go," I said.

She smiled back, and took my hand like she had the first day. I hadn't been expecting her to do it, and when her hand snaked into mine, I swear I felt the shock of static electricity. We ran together for a long time. She didn't say anything, but I could tell she was unwinding. I was too. My bad mood vanished more and more with every mile, and we had travelled quiet a few. We stopped after over an hour. I didn't want to, I wanted to run like this forever, but Bella stopped by a river and I stayed with her. She let go of my hand, and I wanted to groan. I didn't generally like physical contact, but it was different this time. Usually, being in contact with a person just amplified their thoughts. If I wanted any chance of ignoring the minds all around me, I couldn't ouch them at all. Bella's mind remained completely silent, and though it frustrated me, it was nice, too. I had never been able to spend so much time with another person without desperately wanting to get away from them.

Regardless, I wanted to know Bella's thoughts now. I thought about what she had said to Carlisle. She said she knew it was a difficult decision for him, and that she knew he regretted it. She was only half-right on the second point– Carlisle had been endlessly waffling between regretting and not regretting his decision – but I was astounded she had noticed that much, or that she had had the compassion to see Carlisle's struggle and want to put his mind at ease. I had been under the impression that because she never spoke, she wasn't listening, and now I wondered just how much she knew about us.

Bella took off her shoes and rolled up her pants, and before I could wonder why, she sat by the riverbank and put her feet in the water. I knew her feet couldn't _need_ relief, but she looked so peaceful that I decided to join her. I put my shoes in the grass next to hers, and sat by her side. She smiled at me when I did, and it was a wide, genuine smile.

I wished she would speak.

She must have read _my_ mind, because she did speak. "Thanks for letting me come with you."

I was shocked. Would I ever stop being shocked every time she opened her mouth?

"No problem," I said, smiling again. "It's nice having you along. You're very quiet."

She seemed a little taken aback by that, and I rushed to clarify, "Not that I don't like it when you talk! Obviously, if you want to talk, I want to hear it. Anything."

She smiled and shook her head like she was amused by what I said. I wanted to know what she was thinking about. The question consumed my mind.

"What are you thinking?" I asked. I hadn't meant to, it happened of it's own accord.

She looked at me with half a smile. "Really?" she asked.

I was so hopeful that she would finally tell me that my response came out too fast and desperate.

"Yes, really, please."

She lost her smile and sighed. She turned away from me and looked at her reflection rippling in the water. For a second, I was worried that she wasn't going to answer me, that she was just dangling what I wanted in front of me for sport.

"You're family doesn't like me," she said. She stated it like it was a fact, and I wouldn't feel right telling her she was wrong, really.

"They don't _not_ like you," I hedged.

Bella looked up at me, incredulous and amused, and after a second of looking into my eyes, she burst into laughter.

I had never experienced her laughter before, and it was the purest sound I'd ever heard. It made something rise up within me; I couldn't help but laugh with her.

She finally regain control of herself, and I quieted down with her.

She sighed and said, "Okay, maybe they _don't_ not like me, but I'm making everything more difficult for them. Rose hates me for encroaching on her territory, and she's so angry with Carlisle for turning me. Emmett agrees with everything Rose says and does, so he can't stand to be around me either. Jasper thinks I'm going to bring some great doom down on you guys and I give Alice headaches– not to mention how disappointed she was when I didn't like her clothes. I think I really offended her!" I was slack jawed. I couldn't believe Bella had noticed any of those things, let alone all of them. Hell, I didn't even realize she knew the names of everyone in the family. I wanted to say something, anything, but she continued. "And then Esme is worried that I'm tearing her family apart, and Carlisle thinks he made a huge mistake by not letting me die a human."

I could hardly process how accurate she was. "Bella, how do you _know_ all that?" I asked. I realized that she must have a sixth sense like mine or Jasper's that made her extra sensitive to the people around her.

"Well I don't read minds, if that's what you're wondering." She stared pointedly at me. Had she figured out that too?

I looked back at her, challenging her to voice her theory.

She laughed. "Okay, either you're being difficult or you don't read minds," she admitted. "But I thought for sure from the way you're always talking to people when they haven't said anything. And earlier today, back at the house with Carlisle. You went into Carlisle's study and it sounded like you were on the phone– there was no other half to your conversation. I don't know, it made sense at the time," she admitted, embarrassed. She thought she was wrong.

"No, Bella, you're completely right. I do read minds," I told her.

She straightened up in excitement. "Really?! I'm right?! Okay, what am I thinking about?" she asked. She scrunched her eyes closed and focused very hard on something. She looked so cute. I wished I knew what she was thinking about.

I sighed, and touched her to get her to open her eyes. "I can't read _your_ mind," I explained.

"Oh," she said. She sounded pensive. "I guess that's for the best. I think some really weird things sometimes."

Gah! Did she know how crazy that admission was going to drive me?!

"So who else is immune to your mind reading? Anybody in the family?" she asked.

"Uh, no. Nobody else, so far, just you," I told her.

She looked alarmed. "_Just_ me? Nobody else _ever_?" she demanded.

I didn't understand why that bothered her so much. On the other hand, I knew exactly why it bothered me. "Yeah. Just you. Why?" She looked back at her reflection in the water.

"Hey, Bella, what's wrong?" I asked.

"So I'm some sort of brain freak?!" She screeched. The frantic craze had set in quickly, and I was immediately and forcefully reminded that Bella was a newborn and that her emotions would get away from her.

"No, Bella, no," I said, trying to calm her. I grabbed one of her hands in both of mine and stroked her fingers with my thumb. "No, you're not a freak. Who knows what it is. Maybe you have an ability too," I suggested. It was the first time it had occurred to me, and I realized I might be right.

That calmed her some. "Like Alice and Jasper?"

Of course she knew about them too. Why was I even surprised anymore? "You notice everything, don't you?" I asked her.

She smiled, taking the compliment. "Alice is always talking about the things she has 'seen,' and she always knows where to go hunting. As for Jasper, Rose is always telling Jasper to stop trying to make her feel better. So Alice gets some sort of mystic visions and Jasper can cheer people up?" she guessed.

I laughed. She was amazing. "Very close. Alice does get visions of the future, but they're pretty subjective. Everything can change if one person makes a different decision. And Jasper can in fact cheer people up, but it doesn't stop there. Jasper can sense the emotions of people, and he can influence them in any way he likes." Bella looked amazed. "He mostly uses his powers for good. And sometimes for messing with Emmett," I joked.

Bella laughed again, just as I was hoping she would.

I was not hoping she would do what she did next. She pulled her hand gently from mine and stood up.

I wasn't ready to leave yet. Bella and I had just started talking, and I had learned so much about her already. I wanted to stay! But she was putting on her shoes, and I knew I had no real reason to keep her here. I got up and put my shoes back on too.

The run back home wasn't quite as pleasant as the run out. This time, Bella and I ran separately. Where the run out was therapeutic and weight lifting, the run back was bleak. I wasn't especially eager to get back to everyone, and I couldn't stop berating myself for not noticing how perceptive Bella was. Here I thought I was the one who knew everybody inside and out. It turns out, without my sixth sense, I was completely blind. Even so, looking back, I was surprised I didn't see this in her. She was always so attentive and responsive and nothing ever needed to be explained to her. Was I really so bad at reading people when I couldn't read their minds? And more importantly, what other parts of Bella's character had I missed?

* * *

><p><strong>Yay! Bella and Edward finally talk to each other! God, it took waaaay too long to get to this point!<strong>

**So this is the end of the chapters for now (I guess it wasn't really that many, but this last one felt so long...), but maybe I can get some more done for tonight :)**

**I hope this made everyone happy! Thank you, all my readers and reviewers!**


	15. Chapter 15

Bella:

I didn't want the day to come. Of course, there was no fighting it– it was already here. After Edward and I went on our run last night, I was so excited to go out with him today. It was my first Saturday, and that meant that Edward and his siblings (_our_ siblings?) wouldn't have to go to school. In my mind, that meant that I had all day to spend with Edward. I was hoping we could go out for a hunting trip that involved a long run. I was hoping that I would have the chance to talk to him more. There was so much I still had to ask him!

But of course, nothing was going how I'd hoped. When we got home last night, Edward picked up a book and settled on our sofa. I picked one too, and went to sit next to him. It felt strange and new, sitting _next_ to Edward instead of on opposite sides on the long sofa, but it felt better too. I wanted to lean into him while I read, but I thought that might be crossing some sort of physical contact barrier. Edward didn't seem to be into much physical contact, if the way he interacted with his family was any guide.

Carlisle came home from work late, as he always did, and told me the 'good news.'

"I have the entire day off at the hospital tomorrow, so I thought I'd take you off Edward's hands for once and we could have a big hunting trip. There's a park up North where I'm sure we could find you a bear or mountain lion," he'd announced. I hadn't even realized until then that I was something _on_ Edward's hand that needed to be taken off. Had Edward expressed to Carlisle his annoyance with always having to take me everywhere? Had I been taking his willingness to escort me for granted and abusing his friendship? I really hoped I wasn't making him so miserable, and I _really_ wished I had taken up Carlisle or Esme on more of their offers to go hunting during the day. Maybe if I hadn't infringed on all of Edward's afternoons, he wouldn't be so eager to see me gone all day today.

It was about nine am when I put down my book and went to go get changed for the day. All of my clothes were still in the bags, mostly, and some of them were hung in the living room coat closet. I was offered Jasper's room very early on, he insisted that he could move his stuff into Alice's room so that I could have my own space, but I felt so horrible pushing Jasper out of his own room that I insisted I didn't want a room at all and argued that I didn't really need one seeing as I never had to sleep. I won that battle, and sometimes I wish I hadn't. I might have been nice to have a space of my own to escape to. I wouldn't make a deal out of it, though. Esme had already promised me that next time we moved I would get a place of my own, be it a bedroom or an office, if I preferred.

I barely made it into my new change of clothes before the house was in red alert. When I went into the bathroom, everyone was calm and quiet and relaxed, and by the time I came out, they were rushing around like worker bees. I couldn't figure out what had happened. All I had heard was Alice say, "Three minutes! Everyone get ready!"

Three minutes until what? Emmett and Rose and Jasper had all changed into pajamas in no time, and Esme was starting to cook breakfast. They didn't even _eat_ breakfast.

Carlisle met me at the bathroom door. "We're going to have to leave now," he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Alice sees a human visitor coming, so you need to be out of the house and far away," he explained. He obviously saw my concerned expression, and rushed to sooth it. "Try to think of it as just leaving early for our hunting trip," he said with a smile.

I didn't want to leave early for our hunting trip. I didn't want to go on our hunting trip at all.

Edward joined us. He wasn't in pajamas like the others were.

"Maybe it's best if I take her," he suggested. The idea thrilled me

"No Edward, you've taken too much responsibility already. I can't ask you to do this too," Carlisle argued.

"Carlisle, Mrs. Harris is going to get suspicious if you're not here. I, on the other hand, won't be missed. You can tell her I'm sick in bed, or that I'm just lazy if you want. But you're who she's coming to see," Edward reasoned back.

Carlisle seemed to think about that for a minute. He obviously knew Edward was right, but didn't want to force me upon him again.

"I don't mind Carlisle, really," Edward said, responding to some thought. "It's what needs to be done."

Carlisle sighed, and went off to prepare like everyone else. I felt horrible, but I was also excited, which made me feel more horrible. Edward was supposed to have some free time today, and now he was going to be stuck with me all day. I didn't want to admit how glad I was that I would be out with Edward instead of Carlisle, and I promised myself that I would make it up to him during the week. I would hunt every day with Carlisle or Esme so that he would be off the hook by the time he got home.

Edward grabbed my hand, and with a half smile and a spark of excitement in his eye, said, "Let's go."

Alice yelled, "Take your time! She's a blabberer!" after us as we ran, and I swear I saw Edward grin.

* * *

><p><strong>I almost didn't want to ruin this with an AN, because it was exactly 100 words, but ah well. ****Turns out Edward is getting his Bella fix today anyway :)**

**Just FYI, because I don't think this ever is going to be explained: Mrs. Harris is an old lady who lives in Forks. Carlisle 'saved her life' when she came in for a surgery, and now she makes casseroles and brings them to the Cullens every now and then in thanks.**


	16. Chapter 16

Bella:

Edward and I ran very far, further than I'd ever run with him before, and faster, too. I wasn't positive our feet were touching the ground at all as he led us through the forest. We finally stopped in a clearing by a cliff side. Edward didn't let go of my hand, so I didn't let go either. He looked around a little confused.

"What?" I asked.

"Alice saw a herd here, but something must have scared them away," he explained. "We'll have to keep looking."

"We don't _have_ to," I said. Edward looked at me inquisitively, so I continued, "I'm not all that thirsty," I lied, "and I was hoping…" I trailed off.

"Yes?" Edward prompted.

I had wanted to finally ask Edward all the questions I'd had, but I felt self-conscious about them now. Most of them were silly, and I didn't want him to think I was an idiot.

Edward let out a tense sigh. "Do you know how frustrating you are? I wish I could read your mind. I'm always trying to figure out what you're thinking!"

I laughed. "I thought you liked the quiet," I challenged.

He shook his head, "I do, but I hate not knowing what's going on in that head of yours. Especially when you're being cryptic."

"When _I'm_ being cryptic?" I asked incredulously. He was the one that was impossible to read.

"Yes," he teased. "Like when you start a sentence and then don't finish it," he punctuated the sentence by tapping his finger on my nose. It made me smile, and he smiled in return.

"Well what about you and your silent conversations? Or, better yet, when you tell Carlisle you're sick of taking me hunting but don't bother mentioning it to me," I accused.

"What?" he asked, completely confused. I hadn't meant to say it, but now that it was out there, I thought I should explain myself.

"You know, with Carlisle saying he wanted to 'take me off your hands.' You know, if you were tired of hunting with me, you could have just said so, I would have gone with Carlisle or Esme while you were at school."

He was looking at me like I'd grown another head.

"Bella, I _love_ hunting with you. It's the highlight of my day. Where in the world did you get the idea that I didn't?"

"Everyone acts like you've drawn the short stick with how much you have to take care of me. I don't know why you do it," I admitted. I dropped my gaze to me feet. It was an embarrassing thing to admit.

"Bella, hey," Edward said. He put his free hand – the one I wasn't still holding– under my chin and made me look at him. "I haven't drawn the short stick, okay. I choose to take you hunting every day. I like being with you. I enjoy your company, and honestly, I appreciate the time out of that house."

"Really?" I asked him.

"Really," he answered forcefully. He really wanted me to understand this, and I think I finally did. I smiled at him.

"Thanks," I said.

"Of course. Is there anything else you need to get off your chest?" he joked.

I bit my lip and glanced up at him.

He laughed. "Of course there is. Okay, shoot. What's up?"

"Why don't we sleep in coffins?" I asked him.

He burst out into laughter, and I laughed with him. I admit, it was a pretty ridiculous question.

When he controlled himself, he said, "That's only a myth, Bella."

I jumped into my next question, "And what happens with garlic? Is that real?"

He laughed again. "No, that's not. We're also able to tolerate crosses," he quipped.

"Okay, but what about a wooden stake?" I asked.

"You tell me Bella, do you really think a little piece of wood could break through your skin?"

"No, I guess not. I feel like nothing could," I admitted.

"Almost nothing can," he said. I thought about that for a long time, then I thought about one of the questions I wasn't sure I wanted the answer to.

"Are we immortal?" I asked quietly.

Edward brushed a lock of my hair behind my ear, looked into my eyes and said, "Yes."

I tried to let it sink in. I was immortal. I was never going to die. _Never_. It seemed like too long of a time. I didn't even know what I would do for eternity. I didn't think the big bag of books was even going to last me until the end of the month.

Edward began to clarify, "I guess we aren't entirely immortal. We _can_ be killed, but pretty much only by other vampires. Some of our kind are thousands of years old."

_Thousands of years_, I thought. "How old are you?" I asked suddenly. I wished I hadn't, asking about age was rude for humans, was it rude for vampires too?

Edward chuckled once, like he was reluctant to admit it. "Well, technically, I'm seventeen," he said. "But…"

"But?" I prompted. I really shouldn't pry like this.

"But I was born in 1901. One hundred and four years ago."

Every gear in my brain stopped turning. It was one thing to hear that some vampires were thousands of years old, but to learn that Edward was over one hundred. It was surreal.

"Does that bother you?" he asked. I looked back to him and saw that he looked worried and self-conscious.

"No! no," I assured him. "I just… I can't really wrap my brain around it."

"Yeah, I guess it is a little strange," he admitted. "I'd better not tell you how old Carlisle is," he joked.

I wanted to laugh, but my big question was now begging me to ask it.

"Edward," I started somberly.

He sobered out of his joking mood immediately. "Yes?"

"In myths, about vampires…" I didn't even know how to ask this question. "They… they're always… Edward, vampires are always drinking _human_ blood," I finally managed. I realized it wasn't a question, but judging by the dark look that came over Edward's face, he understood what I was asking.

"Bella," he started. "We haven't talked about _that_ yet for a reason."

I was suddenly freaking out. "Oh my God, I knew it. There _is_ going be some creepy initiation and I'm going to have to kill a virgin on the full moon or something, aren't I? Edward, I don't want to! Please, I don't know what all this vampire stuff is about but I just don't want to _hurt _people! You aren't going to make me, are you?"

"Woah, woah, Bella, calm down!" Edward urged. He let go of my hand to grab me by both shoulders. "Bella, no, nobody is going to make you hurt anyone!"

When I looked up at him, I knew he could see how scared I still was.

He smiled and shook his head like I was being silly. "Bella, we haven't brought up the whole 'human blood' thing because we thought it would be better for you to get accustomed to animal blood first, so that it would be easier to understand and easier to resist."

"Resist what?" I asked.

"Blood. You're lucky enough to not have come face to face with a human yet, but you'll understand when you do. Most newborns are too preoccupied with slaking their thirst that they don't even stop to think about the people who are dying."

"But I don't _want_ to kill anybody!" I whined.

"Good," Edward said, satisfied. "Then we aren't going to let you. I promise."

I was satisfied too. I sighed in relief and Edward let go of my shoulders. Without thinking, I threw my arms around him and hugged him. He was still for a moment, but hugged me back. I realized then that I had broken Edward's personal space bubble. From what I had seen, nobody ever did that.

I pulled back. "Sorry. I know how you are about touching," I said.

He looked at me with an eyebrow raised, like he had no idea what I was talking about.

"You never let people touch you. I thought you didn't like it," I explained.

He shook his head, amazed. "That doesn't apply to you, Bella."

"What? Why not?" I asked.

"With everyone else, the second I'm in physical contact, their thoughts are amplified in my head. It feels like they're screaming. But obviously, in your case…"

I smiled and hugged him again. He wrapped his arms around me and held me to him. I felt more calm in that moment than I had all week.

"Can I tell you something else?" I asked him.

He smiled at me welcomingly and answered, "Of course."

"I lied when I said I wasn't thirsty."

Edward laughed, and the humor was back in our lives. "I know," he told me as he let go of me. "Let's find ourselves some deer."

* * *

><p><strong>Yay! Bella is finally starting to really feel comfortable around Edward, and they're talking even more!<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay everyone, so I have some news. I finished the outline for this story last night, and I really hope at least some of you are buckled in for the long haul, because my God, this story goes on FOREVER. It's ridiculous. It's so long! It's terrifying me a little, but I'm determined to see this to the end!**

**Also, this chapter is mixing it up a little. In general, this story in going to be in the POV of Edward or Bella, but a few guest narrators every now and then should be fun :)**

* * *

><p><span>Jasper<span>:

Edward and Bella were only out for a few hours. I had expected them to be gone longer than that. It didn't matter very much, Mrs. Harris had left a while ago, and her scent had already cleared the house. When Bella and Edward broke through the trees into our backyard, they were laughing about something. Esme and I, who were both sitting by the large glass doors, turned to look at them. I hadn't heard Edward laugh like that in a long time, and I realized finally why Edward was always the one to leave with Bella. As they got closer to the house, I could more clearly sense their feelings. They were lighthearted and happy and laced with comfort and camaraderie. All this time, we had all been worrying about Bella as a newborn, and Edward was the only one to see her as a person. He was the only one to see her as a friend.

Esme noticed what I did, and her feelings were warm and approving. I didn't need Edward's gift to know what she was thinking. Our brother had been so depressed lately, and she was glad he was laughing and smiling again.

They entered the house and Esme asked, "How was your hunt?"

Edward turned his focus off Bella and on to our mother. "Pleasant," he answered. "I hope we didn't overshoot the timing by too much," he said, though I could tell he didn't really care how long they'd been gone.

"It's no matter," Esme assured him. "Did you enjoy yourself, Bella?"

Bella didn't answer. Everyone in the room stiffened as we registered the look in Bella's eyes. She started towards the front door, and Alice yelped from upstairs, seeing some dark future. Edward tried to grab her hand, but she yanked hers away and bolted. Edward and I were immediately after her.

Edward reached her first, and he yanked her away from the door. She twisted to face him and threw him over her shoulder and into the wall separating the living room from the dining room. Free, she crouched to dive _through_ the front door instead of opening it, and I grabbed her by the ankle in the middle of the air and threw her back into the living room. She landed on her feet, and when I lunged at her, she tried to grab me. I dodged her grasp and knocked her legs out from under her. She growled and tried to jump on me, but I caught her and threw her back to the ground. Edward rejoined the fight then. She wasn't expecting him to grab her, and he managed to wrap both his arms around her. That might have been the end of it, Except that Bella was a newborn, and newborns were stronger. She broke free from his grasp and when he tried to get his hands back on her, she threw him again, this time through the front window. She sidestepped my attempt to grab her and launched herself towards the broken window too. Emmett intercepted her, and she crashed into him. He grabbed one on her wrists and twisted it behind her back. Before she could squirm out of it, I ran and grabbed her other arm in an equal fashion.

She writhed and kicked and screamed, but strong as she was, she couldn't get away from both of us. Edward reappeared in front of her, and instead of helping us hold her down, he put his hands on her face and started speaking to her.

"Shh, Bella, calm down. It's okay. Calm down."

She stopped screaming, but was still trying to get out of our grasp. Carlisle appeared, realizing what was happening, and ordered, "Take her outside."

Esme opened the back door for us and we complied.

Emmett and I ran, carrying Bella and followed by Edward, until we were past the river and in the woods. She still thrashed against us, and I tried to calm her with my gift, but it wasn't taking.

We stopped once we were far enough from the house, and Edward went back to trying to talk to her.

_You know that's not going to do anything, right?_ I asked him. _She's too far gone._

Edward ignored me and kept talking to her.

"Bella, pay attention, deep breaths, we're outside now. Listen to my voice." Astoundingly, she began to calm down. He continued, "Good, Bella, listen, remember, you don't want to hurt anybody." She stopped writhing when he said that, which was impossible. He put his hand on her face and made her look at him, and she actually held his eye contact. "Okay, Bella. Okay? You're not going to hurt anyone. You're okay."

Her breathing was still ragged, and she still felt frantic and frazzled, but she actually _nodded_ at what Edward was saying.

_Dude, what the hell are you doing?_ I demanded. Edward didn't look at me to answer, he just kept eye contact with Bella and kept saying calming things to her.

After a minute, I felt Bella's arms pull on my grasp again. I tightened my hold, but Edward said, "Let her go."

_No. You're insane._ I told him. I had so much more experience with handling newborns than Edward did, and if she was calm now, it was either a temporary reprieve or a façade to get her away from her captors. Edward looked at me like I didn't understand.

"Trust me," he asked.

Emmett and I shared a glance, and silently agreed. We let go of Bella. The second we weren't holding her, her arms shot forward like they had been spring-loaded and she launched herself onto Edward. I moved to pull her off, afraid that she was attacking him, but her arms wrapped around his neck and he grabbed her around the waist and held onto her. She began to sob.

Regret was emanating off Bella so strongly, I almost couldn't make out the other emotions around me. But she had a thick layer of embarrassment under the regret, and Edward was dripping with concern.

None of this situation made any sense. Getting a newborn out of a blood craze was _never_ this easy. In my army days, I had plenty of times taken hours of emotional manipulation to get through to a young vampire, and even then they were still obsessed with thirst. They were never fully calmed until I had brought them their prey and they had the chance to drink. I wondered how long this could last before she remembered what she had wanted before and snapped again.

Emmett was as confused as I was, and I could tell he wanted to go back to the house to tell everyone it was over. He stayed with me though, just in case we had to restrain Bella again. Usually, I was confident that Edward and I could out-fight and contain any vampire, but apparently his fighting skills left something to be desired when he couldn't read the mind of his opponent.

Edward glared at me for thinking that. _Sorry, but I'm not going to say it's not true_. He opened his mouth to say something– probably to tell me to stuff it based on how annoyed he felt towards me – but Bella spoke first.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered as she sobbed. "I didn't mean to. I don't– I don't know what came over me. I threw you into a _wall_!"

"Don't worry, Bella, it's alright. I'm fine. Jasper's fine. Everything is okay now," he reassured her.

"Esme is going to kill me for breaking her house!" she cried.

Edward, Emmett, and I all laughed at that, but I was shocked that she was perceptive enough to know Esme was the one she had to apologize to.

Edward mouthed the words, 'you have no idea,' over Bella's shoulder.

So she was perceptive. _She's not gifted like you or me, is she?_ I asked.

Edward shook his head almost imperceptively.

_She's a strange one, isn't she?_ I asked. He laughed once, and I took that as a confirmation.

Bella straightened up and pulled away from Edward. I coiled, ready to chase after her if she tried to run.

She didn't. She took a deep breath and said, "Now what?"

Edward answered, "If I know Carlisle at all, he'll already be prepared to take you on a long hunting trip when we get back. Esme will probably use the repair job as an excuse to repaint half the house, and by the time you come home, there will be no trace of human scent for miles."

Bella nodded. Anxiety was building in her, and I tried to make it go away.

Edward did too, apparently, "Don't worry," he cooed. "It's all going to be okay. This sort of stuff happens, especially at the beginning. What's important is that nobody got hurt."

She nodded and hugged him quickly again. "Thank you… for keeping your promise."

"Of course. Let's head back, alright?"

Edward was right, of course, about Carlisle loading up for a hunting expedition. Everything he needed was already in the trunk of his Mercedes. Edward stayed with Bella by the river as Emmett and I went back inside.

Rosalie was fuming, and I wished she would stop. Alice was focusing hard on the future, but I could tell from the worried look on her face that she wasn't seeing very far. This whole trip was making her very anxious.

"We'll go with them," I suggested. I had already been uneasy about anyone going anywhere alone with Bella, and I didn't think Carlisle could contain her alone.

Alice nodded. I knew she would be thinking along the same lines as me. She didn't want to leave the newborn alone with Carlisle, and her gift would provide us with more coverage than even my expertise fighting newborns.

I wanted to bring Emmett with us, but worried about how that would affect Rosalie's already horrible disposition.

I decided it didn't matter, really. I would rather be safe from Bella– and keep Alice safe from Bella, if I was being honest – than spare Rose's petty feelings.

I wondered if Edward would insist on going too. When we left him with Bella, he was still worried about her, and knowing the control freak he could be, he probably wouldn't want to let her out of his sight.

Rose was complaining to Emmett about how horrible everything was for her, and I wanted to wait for her to start doing something else before I asked Emmett to go with us, because it would just make Rose even more irate. She didn't show any signs of stopping, though, so I had to intercede.

I barely approached them, and they both knew what I was going to ask. Rosalie glared at me, directing as much furious energy at me as she could. Emmett was torn. He did want to be stuck in the middle of this conflict, and he waned to side with Rosalie on principle.

"Rose," he said gently, "I should go. Keep everyone safe, y'know. Is that okay?" he asked. I never gave Emmett enough credit for how sly he was. Asking Rosalie's permission and putting the power back in her hands made here feel somewhat better.

She thought it over. She didn't want Emmett to leave her, but even angry as she was, she was worried about the safety of the family.

"You shouldn't have to go," she complained, but it sounded like a concession.

"It won't be that long," Emmett pleaded.

Rose huffed. "Fine. Go."

Emmett kissed her, deeply and lustier than I wanted to deal with, so I left them alone.

"We're ready to go," Carlisle called from the car. Alice had run upstairs to change, and she came back down in her hunting clothes, which of course were still high-end and high-fashion. Emmett whispered one last goodbye to Rosalie. I grabbed my sketchbook. I knew we were going to be out a while, and I wanted something to fiddle with while we were gone. As we loaded into the car, Edward told Bella to hold her breath, and they joined us at the car too. Bella got in the back seat between Emmett and me. Alice was in shotgun by my design. I didn't want her so close if something went wrong. Edward stopped to talk to Carlisle before he got in the car.

"Should I just follow you in my car?" he asked. He was upset with the idea, thought I couldn't figure why.

Carlisle put his hand on Edward's shoulder and obviously delivered unto him some long speech. Whatever it was, it was upsetting Edward greatly.

"Really, Carlisle, I'm fine," he argued.

Carlisle cocked an eyebrow at him.

"You might need me," he tried.

Whatever Carlisle was thinking of, it turned his emotions to guilt. Edward, still unhappy, sighed and nodded. Carlisle got in the driver's seat, and pulled us out of the driveway. Edward stared as we drove away, and I was glad to be away from the horrible deflated feeling he was experiencing.

* * *

><p><strong>And just when things were starting to look up... What can I say? Newborn vampires will be newborn vampires. Bella may have much more sense and control than the average newborn, but not enough to stop her from chasing a human scent.<strong>

**Jasper is a fun POV.**


	18. Chapter 18

Edward:

I wished I had fought harder to go with Carlisle. I wished I had just followed them when they left anyway. I wished I wasn't worrying about all of them so much.

Honestly, I didn't even know why I was worried. Bella wasn't going to hurt any of them, and even if she _did_ try, she wouldn't succeed. And I knew that none of them would hurt her.

A chill ran down my spine when it occurred to me that Jasper might. He was so used to getting rid of problems, he might not even think before tearing Bella to pieces if she attacked Alice.

No. I trusted my brother. He wouldn't hurt her.

I went back into the house to do what Carlisle had suggested: I was going to help Esme rebuild the wall and install the new window. We were used to these sorts of things happening at least once in a while, so the basement already had a small Home Depot's worth of plaster and plywood and tools.

I expected Esme to be down there, but she was on her laptop in the living room. I saw in her mind that she was thinking about the window. She was trying to find a replacement somewhere that she could get to by the end of the day.

"We don't need to replace the window tonight, Esme," I mentioned.

She looked at me, she hadn't realized I was reading over her shoulder.

"Oh, I know. I just thought it would be nice if everything could be fixed before they get back. Maybe Bella would be less embarrassed if it was." _She's such a sweet, shy girl, I can only imagine how hard she's taking this._ She added mentally.

I agreed whole-heartedly with Esme. Rosalie did not. She had overheard us from the living room, where she had been imagining how nice our life would be right now if Carlisle had just let Bella die. She was furious.

_Of course! Of course that's what Esme is worried about! We can't let anything bother _perfect little Bella_. This is disgusting. Everyone wants to just act like it didn't happen when it did! Now _we_ have to clean up _her_ mess while she gets a special Bella hunting trip! _

Rose was infuriating! I was so sick of her being petty and mean and self-centered.

"My God, Rose! Will you _shut up!_ Stop acting like this was a personal attack against you!" I yelled.

Rose appeared in the doorway, livid. "No! You stop acting like nothing happened and everything is fine!" She screamed. "You all treat Bella like she's some sort of fucking princess! She hasn't done a single good thing for this family since she got here! She's putting us in danger! And she barely even talks! Why is everyone so obsessed with her?!"

"What?" I demanded. "You'd rather we all go back to being obsessed with you! For Christ's sake, Rosalie, if you stopped being a selfish little brat for _five minutes_ you'd realize that we're all just trying to make it work!"

"What if I don't _want_ to make it work?!"

"Edward! Rosalie! Quiet!" Esme interrupted. I had almost never heard her yell, and it shut us both up. Once she had our attention, she brought her voice back down. "We are a _family_," she reminded us. "Rosalie, I know this has been hard for you, and it's okay to be upset, but please, there's no reason to lash out." She turned to me, "And Edward, you have no right to say those things to your sister." I opened my mouth to protest, but she held up a finger to shush me. "_Family,_" she stressed, "means we take care of each other and look out for each other and _most importantly_, we forgive each other for our faults and our blunders. And I think that's something that _both of you_ need to start thinking about."

Of course, Esme was right. She always was. Rose, though stubborn and petulant, looked over at me and thought, _Fine. Sorry._ Her tone was still upset and frustrated, but I could tell she meant it.

"Yeah, me too. Sorry," I said.

She nodded, deciding to accept my apology, and sulked out of the room to work on her car.

Esme smiled a somewhat exasperated smile, but she had assumed Rose apologized mentally and was glad that we had both seemed to forgiven each other.

"Now, Edward, would you mind a drive?" she asked. She had found a place where we could get a new window. It was an hour-long drive– in the opposite direction Carlisle had taken Bella.

I sighed. "Of course, Esme."

* * *

><p><strong>So this chapter brings forward how I really feel about Rosalie. In the books, everyone treats her so badly for being a bitch, as if that won't make her more of a bitch. I just feel like a family that has been living with Rose for however many decades should understand by now how her mind works and be willing to deal with her even though she's not always the nicest sister. <strong>

**I really think that when somebody acts out because they feel wronged or betrayed or whatever, blowing them off is the worst thing you can do. So instead of the family taking the stance of, "Oh you can ignore her, we all do," they're going to at least try to be a little supportive and forgiving. Maybe that's OOC, but I don't really care.**

**(rant over)**

**I know, this chapter is so short! I'll try to upload the next one as soon as possible (which details Bella's big hunting trip), but I'm still working my way through it! (Usually I have the chapters done the day before I post them, that way I have time to fix them up or go back and change things if I need to add/subtract a detail for the next chapter). Hopefully, I can get it up before the end of today, but I might not have it until tomorrow. Definitely tomorrow, though!**

**Thanks you thank you everyone who reads and reviews! I love you all!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Woot! Long chapter!**

* * *

><p><span>Bella<span>:

The car ride was easily one of the worst things I'd experienced in either of my lives. I was pinched between Emmett and Jasper in the back seat, which would have been bad enough if Emmett didn't take up nearly a seat and a half anyway. As it was, I was only on half of my seat, and a quarter of Jasper's. I could feel Jasper's seatbelt buckle under me, and I was glad that as a vampire sitting on hard things wasn't uncomfortable. I wanted to move it out of habit, but I had no desire to reach under myself to fiddle with it, so I left it there.

It wasn't hard to stop thinking about the buckle, not when I had my thirst to think about. Considering it had only been a couple hours since I'd hunted with Edward, my throat shouldn't be burning how it was. I knew what the difference was now. I'd finally smelled the sweet promise of human blood, and the tiny monster that burned in my throat and scratched when I didn't appease it was demanding I give it the only thing what would really put out the fire.

I tried to think about anything else. I thought about being in the forest with Edward, when I begged him not to let me become a murderer, and he held me and promised he wouldn't. The thought was calming, but I suspected that Jasper was influencing _how_ calming it was. I didn't want to stop him if he was, so I didn't ask.

I still hadn't stopped holding my breath, and it felt strange in two ways. It was strange not having a sense of smell to think about, and it was strange to not feel my lungs burning for air. They just sort of sat there.

The drive was mercilessly long. I wasn't sure how many hours we were in the car, but it was barely past mid-day when we left, and the sun set while we drove. The whole time, nobody spoke, and barley anybody moved. Carlisle was the only one who noticeable moved at all. He was driving, of course, but he also kept glancing at me in the rearview mirror. Jasper was sitting tensely with his jaw clenched. He didn't look at me, but the same way someone can feel eyes on their back, I practically felt him staring at me with his gift. He was focusing on and analyzing every one of my emotions, I was sure. Emmett was staring out his window, obviously bored out of his skull, and Alice was staring out hers too. I couldn't see her face well, but she looked like she was concentrating very hard, and I assumed that she must be keeping her finger on the pulse of the future. She looked worried. Did she see me deciding I wanted human blood and forcing my way out of the moving car to kill someone? Maybe I just ran off to escape the awkwardness of the car It actually wasn't a bad idea. I could probably get away from them. I was stronger than they were, I knew, and I'd bet I was faster too…

No, no, no! I was _not_ going to break out of the car! I _didn't_ need human blood and no amount of awkward would be worse than the awkward of apologizing to Carlisle for breaking his Mercedes and running away.

It was late into the nighttime when we arrived at our destination. It was a pretty park, even in the dark. We parked in an empty lot by the entrance, where people parked to go hiking, it seemed, and got out of the car. I still didn't breathe. I wouldn't until somebody told me to. If nothing else, it was a good excuse for me not to talk.

Alice directed us through the forest and uphill. Jasper stayed barely half a step behind me at all times, ready to pounce if I ran. I almost wanted to tell him to back off, but I didn't think that would be well received, and Jasper looked too deadly for me to want to pick at.

Emmett seemed to think Jasper's close eye on me was hilarious.

"Come on, man, she isn't going anywhere," he said. "And if she did, we'd have quite the game on our hands. Fifty bucks says I can wrestler her to the ground before you can!"

Alice laughed. "She'd have to run first, Emmett," she corrected. She turned to me and winked conspiratorially and added, "I know you won't."

At least someone had faith in me. That or Alice was a fan of creating self-fulfilling prophecies; If she told me that I didn't run in the future, I wouldn't, if only because I was told I didn't. Paradoxes, ugh.

I wasn't sure how I felt about Emmett's seeming excitement over having to chase me down and tackle me, but I decided it was better than me catching a wrong scent and killing someone. I would have felt better if I had known Edward was keeping an eye on me, though.

By the time we'd hiked enough into the park to start hunting, it had started to rain lightly. Even though I couldn't feel cold the same way I used to, and I wasn't going to be getting pneumonia, I still didn't like the rain. My shirt clung to my shoulders uncomfortably, and I hated the sloshing sound of all our feet in the mud. Nobody else seemed to care.

Alice spent a minute looking for the future, and finally found one she liked.

"If we run that way," she said, pointing East, "we should run into a herd of elk. There aren't too many of them, but it'll do."

Carlisle nodded, and we followed Alice's direction. They were downwind from us, so I didn't smell them at all until we were very close. They were in a clearing. Some were asleep, and some were grazing. When we approached them, they must have caught our scent, because the grazing ones were suddenly on high alert, and the sleeping ones started to wake up.

Alice nodded at me to go get one, and Emmett chuckled quietly behind me. I glanced around, and all four of them were staring at me expectantly. I swallowed hard and tried to make the self-conscious feeling go away. It didn't.

I stepped out from the trees and tried to sneak closer to my prey, but they sensed me, and suddenly they were on the move. I moved to chase after them, but I was grounded in mud, and my feet found no traction. Instead of running, I tripped forward, barely catching myself before I landed on the ground.

Emmett's laugher boomed so loudly that birds and squirrels all around us suddenly awoke and ran. I stood upright and tried to cling to my dignity. I was glad I wasn't human anymore, because I knew my face would have been as red as a fire truck. Flustered and embarrassed, I considered chasing the elk, but they were far off now and I didn't want to incite Jasper's instinct to attack me if I ran. I returned to the group, ashamed. I wished that Emmett would at least stop laughing, but everyone looked amused at my failure. Carlisle looked more pitying than amazed, I guess, but that was just as bad.

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder to comfort me.

"Perhaps you and I could go look for something elsewhere," he suggested. How kind Carlisle was, offering to take me away from his laughing children because he realized how embarrassed I was. I was amazed that I had ever found a way to hate him, even if it hadn't lasted long.

"Is that really the best idea?" Jasper asked, all traces of amusement gone.

Carlisle stood his ground. "Yes, I believe it is. We'll only be gone a little while, and I've taken Bella hunting alone before. I have faith that she won't run off."

Wanted to cry and hug Carlisle and thank him, but instead I just stood awkwardly and waited for Jasper to speak again.

It was obvious he wanted to push his point, but decided against it. Instead, he looked me in the eye and warned, "Alice will be watching."

I nodded nervously, a little unsure what Alice would be watching for. They couldn't possible think I would _attack_ Carlisle, could they? Did they think I was that desperate to get away? I wasn't. Was I?

Carlisle squeezed my shoulder to get my attention. He smiled at me, and we ran.

It took us a long time to find anything, but I wasn't upset. I felt so much better away from everyone. It was like I hadn't really been breathing, and now air was coming more easily. I still wished Edward were here with me instead of Carlisle. Then I would have been completely at ease. But Carlisle was an easy second for hunting partners. He spoke very little, which meant I didn't have to speak either, and he seemed unfazed by the time it was taking us to find prey. I wanted to thank him for the reprieve from his children, but somehow, I felt he already knew I was grateful.

I thought it was about dawn when we finally stumbled across more elk, but it was hard to tell with the rainclouds hanging grey in the sky. I was surprised how empty the park was of large animals, considering how big it was. We had run for miles, zigzagging back and forth, looking for blood. This time, I captured and drained an elk with ease. It tasted horrible.

Of course, it hadn't really tasted any worse than the deer I'd hunted in Forks, but now that my imagination had an idea for human blood, the animal tasted bland and stale. Regardless, I forced myself to drink every drop of its blood. I had enjoyed these kinds of animals before, and I would do it again.

When I was finally done, I returned Carlisle, who hadn't joined me in my hunt. The lackluster taste of elk still sat in my mouth, and it annoyed me.

"Not so appetizing, huh?" Carlisle asked. I wondered briefly if he could read minds too, but realized he must have just been paying attention. I knew I was too much of an open book to get away with things.

"No," I agreed. "I never used to mind, but now… I don't know."

He nodded, understanding. "I know, but you get used to it, I promise."

"I know," I said. "And it might not taste so great, but it's a hell of a lot better than having to live with myself if I ever killed someone."

He smiled at me like I'd just guessed the last letter in a game of wheel of fortune. It took me a moment to realize that he looked proud. It made me a little uncomfortable, being the object of his pride.

I opened my mouth to say anything to change the subject, but as I took a breath in, I caught a sweet scent in the breeze. It was not as demanding as the smell of human had been, but it was nicer than any deer or elk I'd smelled. I chased after it.

I was afraid of letting go too much, so I pulled back as I got close. I found the object of my hunt, a mountain lion. I paused. Could I kill a mountain lion? It seemed so improbable. But the scent of its blood swam in my head, and instinct over powered my doubts. I attacked it from behind, wrapping my arms around its chest and biting into the back of its neck. Its blood was so much sweet than any herd animal, and the little monster in my throat rejoiced.

The lion struggled, but couldn't break free of my grasp. I felt its claws rake against my arms, but my skin would not be broken.

The blood was gone too quickly, and I wanted more. I tried to keep drinking, but there was nothing there.

I stood up and dropped the animal. I was breathing heavily. I needed more. I needed sweeter. I needed human.

Carlisle appeared, he'd followed me slowly, and now he watched me apprehensively. I wondered how I could get away from him. I wondered if I could take him down and escape unpursued.

_No, no, no!_ The sane part of my mind yelled at me. I thought of Edward, of what my reaction would have been if he were standing where Carlisle was now. Would I have even considered attacking him to get away? No. _Nothing_ was worth hurting Edward, or for that matter, Carlisle or any of the family.

I breathed deeply a few times, and regained control of myself. I thought about my throat, and despite my recent snap out of sanity, I noted that I did feel better. The big cat has soothed the fire in my throat in a way nothing had before.

Carlisle was still eyeing me. He looked like he was coming up with a contingency plan for if I ran.

"I'm not going to run," I told him. Shock registered on his face, only for a second, then he smiled warmly at me.

"That's good to know," he said. His smile was so warm and trusting, I knew he believed me. It made me feel guilty, I had just been seriously considering fleeing from him.

"Maybe we should rejoin the others," I suggested. I didn't want to think about the mistake I'd almost made, and if we were with everyone, I would be able to get away with thinking those sorts of things.

He smiled knowingly, and I wondered what he thought he knew. "Of course, if you'd like to."

I nodded. He offered me his hand, and I hesitated to take it. If Edward had been here, I wouldn't be hesitating. But if Edward was here, he would be offering me his hand because we're friends and he likes to run with me. If I had to guess, Carlisle was just trying to keep closer tabs on me. Maybe he _did_ know what I'd been thinking about. I sighed, and put my hand in his. It felt awkward there, but I reminded myself that I was glad for the supervision. Who knows how many people would already be dead if I had been left to my own devices.

* * *

><p><strong>After this, there's one more chapter of Bella's hunting trip (I was going to upload it as one superchapter, but the second half isn't done and I wanted to give you all <em>something<em> today) and then we go back to the house with Edward, Esme, and Rose.**

**A lot of people have been expressing heavy dislike for Rosalie, so you're all going to really like or really hate the next chapter she's in. Just a warning :P**

**Thank you everyone who reads and reviews! I'm trying to respond to reviews as much as I can, but I've been busy recently, and I assume you'd rather I write more than respond to reviews :/**


	20. Chapter 20

Bella:

When we found the others, Alice greeted us.

"How was your mountain lion?" she asked.

I shrugged, not wanting to answer really. So she had been watching. I thought for a second that she was going to tell Carlisle how close I'd come to abandoning him or attacking him. I was sure she'd seen that possible future. I worried that maybe Jasper and Emmett were going tackle me again, just because I'd thought about it. Jasper and Emmett did nothing of the sort, and Alice only winked at me.

Had she kept that future a secret? I wanted to ask her. Maybe I would, one day, if Jasper ever let me within a hundred feet of her alone. Alice unfocused for a second, then turned her gaze back to me. She smiled brightly.

"Yes. You weren't going to do anything," she assured me. Had she seen me asking her the question in the future and given me my answer now? Did that mean I still had to ask her later?

I didn't know how to respond, so I just smiled weakly at her. She laughed, and the sound rang like silver bells. She danced over to Jasper, who had a sketchbook open and was pretending not to watch over me like a hawk.

Emmett clapped his hands together, and they made a booming sound. "Okay, where to next?" he asked, excited to get going.

"We could just go home," I offered.

"No," Jasper shot down immediately. I wished he wasn't so pessimistic about my control, but then again, I couldn't really blame him.

"If I catch another elk, can we go?" I asked. The sun was barely up, though it still couldn't really be seen through the light grey clouds that were drizzling on and off, and I thought maybe if we left soon, I could be home with Edward by midday.

"No," Jasper answered, before anybody else could. I looked at him, not understanding.

His expression was hard. "The best thing for you now is to be out here in the open air, surrounded by animals. Even if you drank another hundred elk, we wouldn't take you back until your mind was clear."

I guess I wasn't surprised that Jasper knew my mind wasn't clear. And he was right, of course. I wanted to go home because I disliked the hunting trip, not because I felt better. Our time out still hadn't served its purpose.

"It helps if you think of people as people," Alice chirped. I was confused, and Jasper indulgently rolled his eyes. I suspected he'd heard this speech before.

"The lady who you smelled in the house earlier, Mrs. Harris," Alice started. I fought to listen to her words and not think of that smell. My mouth pooled anyway. Alice continued, "She's a friend of Carlisle's. Her appendix burst a little while back, and Carlisle was her surgeon. Probably anyone could have done what he did, but she was so grateful to him, that she started visit us every now and then. Now she makes casseroles maybe once a month for us. She thinks she's saving Esme for cooking for her huge family of teenagers, and of course, Esme always graciously accept them.

"She doesn't have a husband or any children of her own, but she's very close to her two nieces and her nephew. And she just became a great-aunt three months ago when her oldest niece had a daughter of her own. She showed us the pictures while you were out with Edward. They're a beautiful family. You wouldn't want to hurt any of them." She tacked the last sentence on so casually, it caught me off guard. But she was right, of course. Now that I had something in my mind to accompany the scent, it was easier to push it back. I couldn't kill a little old lady who dotes on her family and cooks casseroles for Esme.

Jasper smiled a little and shook his head in disbelief. "You sure know how to talk them down, Alice," he congratulated.

Alice beamed at him, and then at me. "If you're still thirsty for big game, I'm sure we can find you another lion, or a bear, maybe," she suggested.

"What about all of you? Aren't you going to hunt anything?" I asked. They may have found something to drink while I was off with Carlisle, but they all still looked too put together to have been hunting.

"No, we're just here for you," Alice said as if it were the simplest and most obvious thing in the world.

It wasn't simple, or obvious. It was stupid. They _all_ came _all_ this way and they weren't even going to _try_ to…

Jasper was watching me very carefully, glaring almost, and I realized I'd let my anger get away from me. I took a deep breath and tried to force the anger back. It receded easily, and I realized Jasper must be helping.

With the anger gone, embarrassment too its place. God, this was so awkward. It was shockingly just like being the only person at the dinner table to have food in front of them, and I felt very self-conscious.

"Why aren't you guys eating anything?" I asked, realizing afterwards that _eating_ wasn't necessarily the right word.

Alice smiled like she understood my embarrassment, and I realized I liked Alice. So far, she had seemed so foreign and strange, always looking off into the future and being cryptic. And, after she'd bought me all those weird clothes, which I hated, I thought I was going to forever be on her bad side. Now I realized that she was such a sweet girl, and she had been defending me at every turn on this trip, and before. She kept telling everyone I wouldn't run, though I knew she had seen the times when I'd considered it. She had helped me fight off the monster in my throat by talking to me about Mrs. Harris.

Now, she was trying to make me feel less awkward. "There's not much in the park, as I'm sure you noticed with Carlisle earlier. If we all went hunting, we might throw off the system here. Besides, we'll probably all be going on a long trip inland, soon, and we don't want to ruin our appetites." She winked at me, and I couldn't help but smile at her 'appetites' comment.

Yes, I definitely liked Alice. I would have to make up to her the whole clothes thing sometime. Maybe I could fish out some of those dresses when we got home.

She gasped, excited. "Really?!" She jumped on me and threw her arms around my neck. "Yes! We're going to have so much fun!"

Jasper was smiling again, unable to be unaffected by Alice's joy, but he still had his eyes on me. I hugged Alice back carefully.

"Okay, guys," Emmett boomed. "Let's go hunt some herbivores. I wanna see Bella slip again!"

* * *

><p>The car ride home was better than the ride out. I stomach nearly hurt it was so full, but Jasper had clamed down significantly, and was sketching again. Alice was blabbering on about designers and which colors would look best on me and how to properly accessorize. It almost made me regret deciding to roll with her on the fashion thing, but she looked so happy, I couldn't tell her no.<p>

Emmett talked too, which was new. He had never spoken directly to me, and I had assumed he hated me as much as Rosalie did.

"You know, now that we have an even number in the family, we can finally play some football without someone sitting out," he told me. The idea of playing football with someone as huge as Emmett scared me.

"I don't really know how to play," I said, trying to get out of it before it was even planned.

Emmett laughed like that wasn't a problem, and I realized I wasn't going to be able to weasel out of this. Jasper was laughing a little too, chuckling to himself. They both seemed so human when they laughed, and I thought maybe I wouldn't mind playing football with them. Really, maybe I wouldn't mind being their sister.

Jasper must have caught my mood, because he looked down at me and smiled the first real, unguarded smile I'd ever seen from him. I looked to Emmett and Alice, in turn, and they were smiling at me too, like they were excited for me to be part of their family.

I was excited too.

* * *

><p><strong>Ta-da! This chapter is done! I wanted to have it up earlier, but I've been busy and I only just finished it. <strong>

**Yay for family bonding!**

**Thank you everyone who reads and reviews– I think so far, my favorite piece of feedback has come from a guest, who wrote the touching and heartwarming review: "H"  
>:P<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay, so bear with me, because this I might have been smoking crack (or however crack in ingested) when I wrote this**

* * *

><p><span>Edward:<span>

By late Sunday, the family still wasn't back. They had left in the middle of the day Saturday, they should be back by now. I kept trying to calculate and recalculate how long they would have had to drive up to the park, how long they'd stay there, and how long it would take to drive back. I couldn't imagine that they would stop much in either direction, for Bella's sake. I wished Alice were here. She could tell me when they would be back. I'd tried calling here, but service was spotty at best, and she hadn't gotten back to me.

What if something horrible had happened?

_No, nothing horrible happened_, I tried to assure myself. Carlisle, Alice, and both of my brothers could handle one shy, gentle newborn. They were fine.

Unless Bella escaped them.

_No, Bella didn't escape them!_ I yelled at myself. I didn't know why I was so anxious about this. When Esme or Rosalie or Emmett were newborns, I never worried this much. Okay, maybe when Esme was, but then it was just Carlisle and me and we had so little knowledge of what we were doing. I couldn't imagine Carlisle having to deal with me all by himself. It's a wonder he managed at all.

How much longer could this torture go on?

I was too accustomed to Alice's powers. I was too used to knowing the answers. Just like how I couldn't understand Bella without the ability to read her mind (or fight her, as Jasper pointed out), I'd lost the ability to deal with anxiety without Alice.

Esme and I had installed the window when I got back last night, and while I was gone, she had taken care of most of the wall. Rosalie had said she would refuse to help on principle, but when I got back, she was holding the plywood while Esme hammered.

Rose and I finished the wall together this morning, while Esme shopped for a light beige-blue paint. I wasn't kidding when I said Esme would use any excuse to repaint a room. Since then, I've been sitting out front, 'brooding,' as Rose had put it. I just hated waiting.

I stood up from the porch and walked onto the driveway. The gravel crunched under my feet. I thought maybe if I closed my eyes and focused very hard on the sounds of the highway, I would hear Carlisle's car earlier.

Out of nowhere, I was suddenly soaked. I yelped and opened my eyes, and everything around me was light blue.

_Oh my God! I can't believe I _got_ you!_ Rose's mental voice was cheering. She was laughing, and I realized that she had snuck up on me and poured one of the leftover buckets of paint over my head.

I turned around expecting to be angry, but Rose was laughing behind me, her thoughts lighthearted and fun, and Esme was in the doorway– having heard me yelp – with an amused, trying-not-to-smile expression. Instead, I ran to Rosalie and embraced her, getting the blue paint all over her, too.

"No! No! I love this dress!" she yelled, but she was still laughing and I knew she wasn't angry with me. She shoved me off of her, and tried to wipe the paint off. She flashed me a wicked smirk and ran inside. Esme was laughing outright, now, and Rose reappeared with two buckets of the pink paint that we had from when Alice painted her room. She put one down and popped the lid off the other

"You wouldn't dare," I growled at her playfully.

She smiled, and she charged me with one of the buckets held over her head. I ran into the woods with Rose chasing me, and when I knew I was far enough away, I turned around. Rose almost ran right into me, and the paint went flying out of the bucket. I tried to tip it onto her head, but at the last minute, she sent it flying and it splashed all over both of us and several trees. With the bucket empty and other one back at the porch, there was a silent moment where we looked into each other's eyes, like duelers with their fingers on the triggers.

In the same instant, we both dropped the empty bucket and ran. I was faster than Rose, but the distance was so short it almost didn't matter. I broke through the trees and back onto the driveway only a fraction of a second before she did, and we were both immediately doused with paint.

Esme stood at the bottom of the steps with the half-empty bucket in her hands. Knowing we would run back, she had attacked us.

Rosalie and I both, shocked, broke into laughter. Esme laughed with us, and the second she let her guard down, we grabbed the bucket and emptied the rest of the contents of it onto her head.

She froze for a second, completely caught off guard, but fell back into laughter a second later.

This was how the family found us, covered in paint and falling to pieces laughing in the driveway.

Carlisle was the first out of the car– Alice was opting to hide behind the locked doors until she was sure she wouldn't get painted – and asked us, smiling as well, "What in the world are you doing?"

In answer, Rosalie laughed and charged into him, swinging her pink saturated hair and splatted paint onto him as well.

Carlisle looked utterly shocked. He would have guessed that his arrival would ruin any good mood of Rose's, and he was shocked now to see her laughing and embracing him, smearing paint on his vest.

_Did I miss something?_ he asked me as he laughed along with Rosalie.

I shrugged. He'd probably hear from Esme about the talking to she'd given us, and honestly, I couldn't explain Rose's good humor.

Emmett got out of the car and lifted Rose into a spinning hug, which got paint in more places and all over himself. He didn't mind at all. They kissed each other, and then they headed inside to take a shower, he smiled at me too.

_Whatever you guys did, thanks_, he thought.

Jasper got out of the car next, and shot me a warning glare that clearly read, 'You'd better not,' and his thoughts matched the sentiment. He opened Alice's door for her, and, content that the future didn't hold paint for her, she got out too.

Alice smiled at me in greeting. _I saw that Rose was going to cheer up, but I still can't place what did it_, she thought. _I think it was Esme reprimanding you. In the futures where she decided to just let you fight it out, none of this happened_.

I hoped Alice would tell Esme that. She would be thrilled to hear that her parenting skills were sharp as ever.

_She still isn't ever going to agree to babysitting_, Alice added. I laughed.

Bella was the last person to get out of the car. She looked worried. Esme had gone inside with Carlisle– there was a shower in store for them too– and Alice and Jasper were just unpacking the trunk.

Seeing Bella again was like letting out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. I wanted to run up to her and embrace her and tell her I missed her, but I was covered in paint, and I could tell she didn't want to be from the way she was eying me warily. Instead I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"Did you have fun on your trip?" I asked her.

She shrugged, and I wondered what had happened. Maybe they hadn't managed to find her any large game.

"Did you have fun while we were gone?" she asked. "It looks like you did." She gestured to me, covered in blue and pink paint.

I shrugged too, and she smiled. She went inside, and I followed her. I wanted to sit with her on the sofa, but I needed to wash the paint off of me before it dried, so I found an empty bathroom and took care of that.

* * *

><p><strong>I feel like I should have written this from Rose's point of view. It might have made more sense. I guess it's too late now...<strong>

**Sorry I got this up so late in the day! Gah, today was so busy! I'm lucky I managed to get a chapter posted at all!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hi! Sorry this is up so late, I was out of the house pretty much all day today! Anyway, here's 22, and 23 will be up in a minute because they're both so short!**

* * *

><p><span>Edward:<span>

I had never showered so frantically in my life. I just wanted to get this paint off of me so I could go back downstairs. I was so excited to see Bella, and I decided it was because I really wanted to hear about how the trip had gone. I wanted to know what had taken them so long to get back.

Once I was sure I had gotten every drop of paint out of my hair, I rushed out of the shower, dried off and put on fresh clothes. I ran downstairs, and there was Bella, sitting on our sofa with Mansfield Park in her lap. She glanced at me when she heard me come down the stairs and smiled. I smiled back, and walk towards her. I picked a book up off the shelf on the way, not even bothering to look at which one I was choosing.

I sat down next to her and opened my book. It was The Great Gatsby. I was glad. I had read it before, obviously, but I was always willing to read it again. It was close enough in date that it was a nice reminder of the time I had been a human.

I wanted to ask Bella about her trip. I wanted to know every detail, but she looked so peaceful reading, and I didn't want to disturb that.

Before I knew it, it was morning again, and my siblings were getting ready for school. Rosalie and Emmett had just come home from spending a _romantic _night together under the stars– well, under the clouds. I really wished they would both stop thinking about it.

Monday had come back around too quickly, and I was already longing for Friday– or, I realized, Wednesday. Thursday and Friday were going to be sunny, and I intended to spend every hour that I should have been in school with Bella.

I unwillingly got up and grabbed my book bag out of my room. I met my siblings at the Volvo, and we drove to school together. The drive was quiet, but not tense like our morning drives had been recently. Rose was sitting in Emmett's lap, though there was room for her in another seat, and Alice and Jasper's hands were lazily hanging together between her in the front seat and him in the back.

Out of nowhere, I felt a strange pang of jealousy for my perfectly-matched siblings. I forced it down, but not fast enough.

"Really?" Jasper asked.

"No. Shut up," I grumbled at him. My good mood had escaped me at record speed at the prospect of school today.

Alice looked between us, and I refused to meet her eye. Jasper held her gaze, though, and she saw in his expression the promise to tell her about it later. I wished he wouldn't.

We got to school and went off to our classes. Rose and I were both walking to the back building together. All of last week, Rose had been charging off ahead, refusing to walk with me, but today she allowed my presence.

I almost didn't say anything, for fear of losing my place in her good graces, but I had to ask, "So you forgave Carlisle?"

She sighed, exasperated. She had been expecting me to ask. "No." _I haven't forgiven him, not really. I just realized that Esme's right, and we're a family._ "Just because I'm upset with him doesn't mean I hate him."

I smiled at her. "I'm glad."

She rolled her eyes. _Okay, you were right, go ahead and gloat, you insufferable know-it-all_. She said the insult as a term of endearment.

"Not now," I said. I smiled at her and joked, "Perhaps later. We'll see."

She punched me in the arm, but smiled, and split away from me to go to her class. I walked the other way to get to mine.

* * *

><p><strong>See, Rose isn't so bad!<strong>


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23, as promised!**

* * *

><p><span>Bella<span>:

I missed Edward while he was at school. I was too preoccupied counting the seconds to even concentrate on my book anymore, so I abandoned it. I wanted to go for a run, and like she could read my mind, Esme was immediately by my side.

"Would you like to go out? We could hunt, or just run," she offered. I thought about what Carlisle had said about Edward shouldering such a large burden– me– and almost agreed. But then I thought of Edward in the forest with me laughing and telling me that taking me hunting was the highlight of his day. Had he been lying, then? He might have just been trying to placate me, or make me not feel so bad. But I didn't think he was lying. I wanted to believe that Edward wouldn't lie to me. As far as I knew, he hadn't so far.

"No thank you, Esme, I'm just going to sit on the deck for a while," I said.

She smiled welcomingly at me, and patted me on the shoulder before leaving me alone. I opened one of the French doors and went outside. Inside still smelled like paint, and the fresh air was a respite.

I stayed out there a long time, waiting for the sound of the Volvo coming up the drive.

After hours, it finally came, and I shot up from where I sat. When Edward entered the house, I beamed at him through the glass door. He dropped his bag on the floor by the coat rack, not even bothering to bring it upstairs as he usually did, and ran outside to join me. Without a word, we took off into the woods together.

Edward wanted to know about my trip, but there wasn't much to tell. It was a long drive in the car, and I didn't like being so cooped up. The park was beautiful, but it was raining, and I really didn't like the rain. There wasn't much to find, and nobody else drank a single thing, which just made the whole thing more awkward. The drive back was better, at least, not so uncomfortable.

He acted like I was telling him the story of the Battle of Troy, he was so involved. He listened intently, like every word could be on the pop quiz later, and he responded dutifully in all the right places. It occurred to me that he couldn't _possibly_ actually care this much about my uneventful hunting trip, and I doubted my decision to wait for him to come home. I was probably right when I'd guessed that he had been placating me about not minding hunting with me every day, and I promised to let him off the hook for the next few days.

We made our way back home earlier than usual, but Edward didn't seem to notice or mind. I knew it. I knew he was getting bored of me. I should have gone with Esme earlier.

When we got back to the house, everyone was gathered in the dining room. I had never seen the family gathered as they were now. They were sitting around the long table like a council in session, and I felt intrusive just being there. Jasper looked at me and cocked his head. Edward read where his confusion was coming from, and he looked to me, concerned.

"Everything alright?" he asked. Jasper must have told him how anxious I felt.

"Fine," I lied. I was still regretting dragging Edward around with me everywhere, and now I was worried about what this strange convention was.

Edward obviously didn't believe me, but he didn't press it. He led us to the one empty chair, and indicated that I should sit in it. I had a feeling that this was Edward's seat that I was taking, and the way Rosalie rolled her eyed made me inclined to believe I was right. Edward stood between Alice and me, and whatever everyone was thinking about made him upset. His brow furrowed, almost imperceptibly, and a slight frown creased his mouth.

Carlisle explained. "Edward, Bella, we've just been talking. As you know, Edward, Thursday and Friday will be too sunny for any of us to go anywhere public."

I immediately felt so stupid. With all the questions I'd asked Edward about being a vampire, I'd missed one of the biggest myths. Vampires couldn't go out in the sun. I had just assumed that it wasn't true because of how much time we spent outside in the daytime, but I realized now that the cloud cover of Forks probably protected vampires from whatever the sun did to us.

Edward put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry, it can't hurt us," he answered, though I hadn't voiced my question.

Carlisle continued, "So to keep out of the public eye, we've planned a hunting trip to run from Thursday through Sunday. The park we went to last weekend was severely lacking, so you'll all be going inland this time." Carlisle turned to address me. "Except us, Bella. I'm going to stay behind here with you."

Edward was still frowning. I looked around the table, and they were all staring at me like they were waiting for something.

"Okay," I agreed.

"You don't mind?" Carlisle asked. That's what they were all waiting for. Were they expecting me to object?

"No. No, I don't mind, of course not," I insisted. Edward huffed out an annoyed breath behind me. He was making pointed eye contact with Carlisle, and I realized Carlisle was telling him something.

Edward rolled his eyes, but seemed to drop the issue– if there even was an issue.

"It's decided then," Carlisle announced with a smile. The family all made murmurs of agreement and dispersed. Edward skulked out of the room. I wondered what he and Carlisle had argued about.

* * *

><p><strong>So much for Edward looking forward to the long weekend...<strong>

**I have a lot of free time tomorrow, so hopefully I can get around to respond to reviews then!  
><strong>**Thank you everyone!**


	24. Chapter 24

**So this chapter wasn't originally a part of the story, but a lot of people have expressed their confusion with Carlisle, so I gave him a brief chapter to maybe help clear things up :)**

* * *

><p><span>Carlisle<span>:

On Monday morning, the kids went to school, leaving Esme, Bella, and me at home. Esme offered to take Bella out hunting, but she declined. We both knew she would. At first, I had thought that Bella disliked Esme and me. She practically hid from us during the day while the kids were at school, and she almost never accepted either of our invitations to go hunting. Now, though, I realized Bella was just shy. She didn't like to talk a lot, or be around the family very much, but I didn't think she disliked us, she was just quiet and private and introverted. That was probably why she gravitated towards Edward so much, they were alike in a lot of ways. I wondered if their hunting trips were entirely silent. I wouldn't be surprised. She barely spoke to Esme or me, and we tried to talk to her.

But then again, Edward did seem to understand Bella better than we did. Maybe they did talk to each other. I doubted it. Any idea that involved Bella saying more than a couple words at once was probably assuming too much.

As if to prove my point, Bella spent the entire day lounging silently on the back porch. Her silence was unbroken even when my children came home from school. Edward left with her, but neither of them said a word.

Poor Edward. He had been out hunting with Bella nearly every day since she had joined the family. _Since I added her to the family_, I corrected. Bella hadn't signed up for any of this, and neither had Edward. Bringing Bella into this life was my decision, and she was my responsibility. I felt guilty again. Edward was shouldering so much of an obligation that should be mine. He was sacrificing his time to take care of Bella, when I should be the one making sacrifices.

Edward had told me that he didn't mind looking after Bella, but I was pretty sure he was lying. His siblings had all expressed their concerns towards Edward's mood recently. Apparently, he could hardly stand to go to school anymore, and had a shorter temper than ever.

Maybe if I could find a way to give him some time for himself, some time to breathe, he'd feel better.

And I had just the idea. I went down the hall to Alice's room, where she was lying on her bed, drawing sketches for her next wardrobe.

She saw my question coming. "Yeah, it will be sunny starting Wednesday, and it should last through Saturday. Haven't you already gotten the days off work?"

"I have. I was wondering if it would be good weather for that trip to Coeur d'Alene?"

Alice smiled and focused on the future for a moment. "Yup. It'll be beautiful there!"

The park was further even than North Cascades, where we took Bella, but Alice had been urging us to go for a while. They were having a problem with predators overrunning the place, so we could drink freely.

Alice beamed at me. "Yes! We should definitely go!" She checked the future again, and her face fell. "You aren't coming with us," she said, confused. She kept looking. "Oh, staying home with Bella."

"Shall we talk it over with the family, or would you like to just tell me how they're all going to react?" I joked.

She smiled again, then hopped off her bed gracefully. "To the dining room," she agreed.

The family convened quickly, quietly, and with little prompting. They had heard my conversation with Alice.

We all took a seat. I realized that we still only had seven chairs– one for each family member, before Bella. Esme frowned as she sat in hers.

"You and Bella don't have to stay behind," she said. She was worried I'd been beating myself up to much over Bella, and I knew she thought I was trying to find a way to punish myself.

"It won't be so bad," I assured her, smiling.

Rosalie loved the idea. "I need a good hunting trip," she said.

"I don't know," Jasper countered. "Is it really a good idea to leave you here alone with Bella?"

I knew I could put him at ease. He was only ever irrational in matters that concerned Alice. "Bella is generally docile, and I've taken her hunting alone before. It won't be any different than that."

As expected, Jasper shrugged.

After that, there were only details left to hammer out. Alice wanted to leave right after school on Wednesday, because it was such a long drive to the park. Emmett wanted to take his jeep for some off-roading over the weekend, and Rose wanted to take her convertible just because she hadn't had the chance to drive it in a while. Nobody questioned that Edward would drive in his Aston Martin, but Esme agreed to ride with Rose, assuming Edward would want to drive alone.

I was glad this plan was working out. If everything went well, in a few days, Edward would be able to get his much-deprived alone time, and hopefully it would put him in a better mood.

* * *

><p><strong>So hopefully this helped explain it! See, none of this would be happening if Edward would just tell Carlisle how he <em>really<em> feels about Bella (but, of course, that would mean Edward would have to figure out how he feels about Bella, and he's done a horrible job of it so far...)**

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, and hopefully tomorrow's chapter can be longer!**


	25. Chapter 25

Edward:

When the meeting the in dining room broke up, I exited to the living room. I sat on the sofa Bella and I always shared while she read and waited for her to join me. I flipped on the TV casually. I didn't actually care much what was on it, but I wanted somewhere to pretend to focus while I thought. I don't know why I was so upset about this hunting trip. I heard Bella leave the dining room with the rest of my family. Her soft footsteps started in my direction, and the anticipation of it thrummed in my body. She went to pick up a book, but Alice had other plans.

_No_, I mentally whined as Alice intercepted Bella. She had retrieved the bag of expensive dresses from the closet.

"So are we going to do this fashion show or what?" she asked, grinning at Bella.

"Umm…" Bella shifted uneasily from one foot to the other, and Alice sighed. I wanted to tell her to leave Bella alone, but Alice's thoughts caught me off guard. She was remembering how Bella had been on the hunting trip– awkward at first, and unsure of herself for a while, but after a point, she unwound some. That was when Alice had gotten the vision of Bella agreeing to a fashion show. And she was so sure it was going to happen. She thought of Bella in the back seat of the Mercedes, wedged between my brothers. There was a moment when Emmett was laughing, and everyone else was smiling at some humor. Bella glanced around the car, shy and nervous, but responded to the atmosphere in the car with a smile that was hopeful and there was wonder in her eyes.

"Please, come on!" Alice begged.

Bella scrunched her face up, like she was bracing herself for something unpleasant, took a deep breath, and said, "Okay, sure."

Alice was beside herself. She was hopping up and down on her toes. She lifted the giant clothes bag in one hand, and grabbed Bella's with her other. Bella sighed, but an indulgent smile crossed her face as she allowed Alice to drag her upstairs.

"Come on, Rose," Alice called over her shoulder. Rose, still at the entryway to the dining room, rolled her eyes, but followed the two of them with a smile.

Jasper considered going upstairs too after a brief flash of worry for Alice's safety. I fought to not scowl at him. Bella was not so untrustworthy.

He must have agreed with me, because he instead called Emmett in for some video games. "You don't mind if we steal the TV?" he asked me. _I know you aren't watching it_, he added mentally.

"No, I'll play with you guys," I said.

Emmett grinned, sitting down next to me in Bella's spot on the couch. "That's what I'm talking about!" he said. "I'm gonna kick your ass this time!"

I smirked at him. Challenge accepted. "You know, you're never going to get past this," I warned, tapping my temple with my finger.

_Cheater_, he taunted. _I wonder if we can get Bella to beat you. She sure as hell knocked you on your ass in a fight_. He laughed at the memory, and I scowled. Emmett saw it, and smirked. _Actually, now that I think of it, I call dibs on having Bella on my team next time we play football! All I need to do is teach her how to feint, and we'll be scoring touchdowns all night._

"Shut up and play," I snarled, thrusting a controller into his hand.

"Oooh, Edward's mad now," Emmett joked. I was mad. I didn't know why. Obviously, the idea of losing a football game to Emmett wasn't worth getting this upset. I just didn't want him using Bella as a tool against me.

Regardless of the reason, I was going to channel this anger into beating Emmett's ass in this game.

I was distracted by Alice's thoughts upstairs. Bella had just exited her closet. She stepped out shyly in a dark crème colored pencil dress. She looked nervous, her shoulders were pulled together, and she was bending down slightly to gasp the hem half way up her thighs, trying to pull it down further. She glanced up at Alice, biting her lip.

"I don't know. It seems a little short," she hedged.

"No! It's perfect!" Alice disagreed. "Stand up straight," she ordered.

Bella unbent herself at the waist, though her shoulders remained curled inward, and one of her hands rubbed the opposite elbow self-consciously. She continued to worry her bottom lip between her teeth.

I was staring. Thankfully, Alice was considering the dress carefully, and I could look at Bella uninterrupted from her viewpoint.

Alice decided she didn't like the dress. I disagreed. She also decided to be gentle, because Bella already looked so uneasy.

"You look wonderful," she commented, beaming. Bella looked away, like the compliment made her uncomfortable. "But maybe we should try something else," she suggested kindly.

Rose nodded in agreement. "You _do_ look nice, but try not to be so nervous," she said. Turning to Alice, she asked, "Do you have anything blue? I think it would better than the crème."

Alice nodded excitedly and rifled through the bad. She pulled out a knee length, dark blue sundress, and thrust it into Bella's arms. Bella eyed it apprehensively, but strolled back into the closet to put it on.

I held my breath. Alice, impatient as always, was looking to the future to see what the dress would look like. Rose would ask her to spin, and the flowy skirt of the dress would ripple around her when she did. She turned her attention back to the present as Bella exited the closet. She still looked shy, but she was obviously less uncomfortable in this dress– she wasn't clutching at the hem, and her shoulders were closer to a neutral position.

Bella shrugged, like she didn't think the dress was anything special. She was wrong.

Rose smiled. "Blue is much better," she said, pleased to be right. "And that's a nice dress. Give us a spin," she prompted.

I clenched my jaw in anticipation.

"Hey, Edward," Emmett's voice demanded. "You gonna play, or are we gonna stare at the start screen all night?" I was jolted back into my own head in the living room. Emmett and Jasper were both staring at me, waiting. I was reeling.

Jasper cocked his head as he examined my emotions. _Flustered, anticipating, confused, surprised,_ he noted. _What were you so lost in thought about?_ he asked. I didn't answer, but checked back in upstairs, this time seeing through Rose's eyes, because Alice was digging through the bag again. Bella dress was just settling back down after spinning in it. I'd missed it.

I scowled. "Nothing," I answered Jasper. "Let's play."

* * *

><p><strong>Just to clarify why Jasper hasn't caught on about Edward and Bella yet– so far, Edward has been feeling all sorts of jumbled emotions around Bella, including frustration, contentment, confusion, sulking, and excitement, but Edward hasn't really put the pieces together, so he's generally just very angsty about Bella, and because Edward is so angsty all the time anyway, Jasper doesn't find it out of place. He might be able to put the puzzle pieces together, if he tried, but he's not suspicious of anything, so he isn't trying. But I'm sure once Edward realizes it, the unadulterated joy will give him away ;)<strong>


	26. Chapter 26

Bella:

On Tuesday, after the siblings had gone to school, Carlisle offered to take me hunting. He sort of just threw the offer out blasé, expecting me to refuse him as I always did.

"Sure," I said, still determined to give Edward some time off.

"Oh," he responded, surprised. "Yes, alright. One moment." He ran upstairs to put away some papers he'd been holding, then rejoined me in the living room. He smiled at me and opened one of the back doors, and I forced a smile in return.

Hunting with Carlisle wasn't anything like hunting with Edward. _Being_ with Carlisle wasn't anything like _being_ with Edward. I was self-conscious the entire time, and I kept feeling like I should strike up a conversation, but I wasn't sure what to say. I wished I had waited for Edward to come home, but I remembered that I was trying to give Edward a break. I was going to get him some free time whether I wanted to or not.

But then again, maybe it I could go hunting with him tomorrow. He was going to be gone for four days, would it kill him to spend one afternoon out with me? No, that wasn't the point. I was trying to do something nice for Edward, and I had to stick with it.

Carlisle, thankfully, didn't say much while we were out. The silence was awkward, but talking would have been more awkward. We were only gone for a little while, sticking close to home, and Carlisle didn't drink anything himself. Back at home, he smiled when he left me in the living room.

"Thank you!" I called after him as he went up the stairs. He stopped and looked at me, surprised but smiling.

"You're very welcome," he responded. Then he continued up the stairs.

I tried to read, but I couldn't focus. I hated it when I couldn't focus. I kept thinking about last night with my sisters. I had _sisters_. All this time, I had thought that Rosalie hated me, and that Alice tolerated me at best, but now I wasn't sure. Last night, they smiled at me, excitedly talked to me– if only about clothes. Hell, they even teased me about how nervous I was. It bristled at first, but I realized that was what sisters and friends did.

Maybe I could go hunting with one of them tomorrow. No, no. No need to impose on them. They were my family, now, but not my caretakers. It was bad enough that I'd cornered Edward into the position he was in, and I wasn't going to fix that by starting over with Alice or Rose.

Not to mention, I didn't think Rose would want to go out with me, and I didn't think Jasper would like Alice being too alone with me for too long. I thought he'd lightened up about me after our big hunting trip, but he still didn't completely trust me. I couldn't find it in myself to disagree with him. Memories of throwing Edward into a wall and through a window still hung over me. If I lost control, tiny little Alice would not be able to stop me.

I decided there was only one option. I wouldn't lose control again. The rest of the family could do it, and so could I.

I turned my attention back to my book, forcing myself to focus on it. This was where discipline started.

Edward:

Every day of school was worse than the last, and Tuesday was killing me. I was so angry that Carlisle was trying to deprive me of the weekend with Bella again, and I was determined to get it back. So far, my plan was to just participate in the Thursday and Friday hunt, and go home early. I could tell the family that I was worried about how Carlisle was coping with the newborn all alone. It would be true. I didn't want to leave Carlisle home alone with Bella. She would be uncomfortable and in turn he would feel intrusive and they would probably pass the four days in awkward silence and by the time we got back home, Bella would be responding to everything in head nods or shakes again.

I didn't want to wait for my siblings to get to the car. I didn't want to drive the car. I could get home faster running, and they could take the car home. The only thing that stopped me was the worry that someone would notice that only fours Cullens leaving school, when five had come.

By the time my siblings had joined me, I felt my head was going to explode. Jasper tried to calm me, and I tried to let him. It worked some, but I still drove home faster than I should have.

"You okay?" Emmett asked.

"Yeah, fine," I lied. He didn't believe me, so I threw in a detail to make it more believable. "I just feel like I'm going to start banging my head into my desk if I have to hear one more of Mr. Molina's lectures on how the mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cell."

Emmett laughed. "I hear that. Mr Berty mispronounced nearly half of the words in a Shakespeare sonnet today. I mean, seriously, if I have to learn scansion sixteen times, our English teacher could at least bother to learn it once."

I laughed along with Emmett, but it was a little too forced. By bad mood only started going away when I got out of the car. Every step was putting me closer to leaving with Bella. I would probably get a deer for myself on our hunt today. The blood would probably undo some of my nerves.

Who was I kidding? The run with Bella would undo my nerves.

I entered the house and my eyes found her immediately. She was reading on her spot on the sofa. She smiled at me, and I smiled back, just like every other day. But unlike every other day, she didn't put her book down and get up. I walked over to her, and she looked up at me again from her book, but made no indication that she was going to move.

"Aren't we going hunting?" I asked her.

"Oh, no. I went with Carlisle earlier," she said. She smiled at me like she'd just said the most pleasant thing in the world. She didn't know that those words had just ruined my already horrible day.

"Oh," I responded lamely. "Okay." I sat down next to her and pulled up a book, but I couldn't focus on it. Emmett and Jasper started playing a video game again, and after a few minutes, I joined them instead.

Why hadn't she waited for me? She went hunting with me every day. I thought she enjoyed it. I thought she enjoyed our time together as much as I did. Was I wrong? Had I misread this about her, too? I wished for the millionth time I could read her mind. I wished I could ask her why she had gone with Carlisle and have her tell me the truth. I wished I could just grab her by the hand and take her hunting with me now anyway. It wouldn't kill her to go hunting twice in one day.

Jasper's thoughts interrupted mine. _Having an existential crisis there, Edward?_ He teased.

"No," I told him curtly.

_Are you sure you're not preoccupied? You've lost six games in a row._

"Don't worry about it, Jazz," I said. I turned my focus to the game, and to Jasper's mind. I was determined to beat him this time, and I was determined to stop obsessing over Bella hunting without me.

* * *

><p><strong>Poor Edward. Everything is keeping him away from Bella, even Bella...<strong>


	27. Chapter 27

Edward:

I had no idea what to think when I left for school Wednesday morning. All night, Bella kept glancing at me, looking up from her book and under her eyelashes. It was like she wanted to tell me something, or wanted me to tell her something, or she wanted to see how I was reacting to something. At one point I just wanted to plead with her 'Say it! Just say it!' but I didn't. She looked more sad than usual when we went to school, and I was hoping that would mean she would wait for me to get home to take her hunting.

Alice's visions said otherwise. She was trying to see how long it would take us to get out of the house after we got home from school, and she saw that Bella was refuse me again. Alice saw it as a good thing; she wanted to get going on our hunting trip. I hated it.

I spent all day in my ever-increasing bad mood. I hated school. I just wanted to be home. I wanted to be out in the forest with Bella talking and joking and holding her hand. It occurred to me that I didn't know why I wanted that so badly, but being away from Bella made me feel so lonely. I felt so at peace with her, so at home. She was light and warmth in my life, and for so long I'd been in the dark and the cold. She was the only person I could touch without being barraged with thoughts, but she was also the only person whose touch caused a reaction in my spine.

It killed me that she was avoiding our hunting trips, and I knew it shouldn't. I didn't know if she was doing it intentionally or not. Maybe she was just thirsty when my parents invited her. Maybe she couldn't stand to wait the spare few hours before hunting. But maybe it wasn't that at all. Maybe it was me she couldn't stand.

The thought twisted in my stomach like a serrated hunting knife.

No. I refused to believe it was true. I may not be able to read her mind, but there was no way I was misinterpreting her so grossly. Every time I saw her she smiled at me. Every time we went anywhere together, she spoke to my and laughed with me in a way I knew she didn't with anyone else. Every time I grabbed her hand, she gripped mine just as tightly. There was no way she was doing this just to avoid me.

Even with that reassurance, I barely made it through lunch. The idea of going to biology class turned my stomach, so I decided to skip. I went to my car instead. I thought maybe some music would make me feel better, so I turned on a classical CD. The sound of the piano made me want to play, but something in my head was distracting me from Claire de Lune. I turned the music down to its lowest volume, and focused on the song in my head. I imagined how I would play it. I imagined playing it for Bella.

I snapped. I was already in the car, and I was already skipping class, so I just drove home. Excitement built in my chest as I sped down the familiar roads to our house. I _had_ to see her, and very soon I would.

At least, I'd thought I would. I barreled into the house and realized her couch was empty. I heard Carlisle in his office upstairs, but no other sounds in the house.

"Edward? Is that you?" My father asked from where he sat at his desk. I flitted up the stairs and into his office.

"Where are Bella and Esme?" I asked him, perhaps too forcefully.

_They went out hunting about half an hour ago,_ he answered.

I sighed heavily, and Carlisle looked at me, trying to decide if he was more worried or confused.

_Is everything alright, Edward?_ He asked.

I wanted to just say everything was fine and get out of there to sulk by myself, but a new idea came to me.

"No, Carlisle. Everything isn't alright," I admitted.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I don't want to go on the hunting trip this weekend," I told him.

_Edward, I understand that you just want to help, and I appreciate everything you've done, but you don't need to sacrifice any more for me. This was. This was _my_ decision, and I can handle the consequesnces,_ he said.

"No, Carlisle, you don't understand. Obligations be damned, I don't _want_ to go."

Carlisle didn't understand. "Why not?" he asked.

I didn't know how to answer this question, not really. I didn't know how to explain all the things I was feeling. A lot of them didn't make enough sense to explain.

I shook my head, because I didn't have an answer. "Please don't make me go," I nearly begged.

Carlisle was astounded. He had no idea what to make of anything I'd just said, and it worried him. I sighed. I didn't want Carlisle to be worried about me. I opened my mouth to assure him I was fine, but he beat me to it.

"Of course, Edward, if you don't want to go, nobody is going to make you."

I still wanted to assure him that I wasn't crazy, but I wasn't sure I'd be telling him the truth.

"Thank you," I said instead.

He nodded. _Of course_. He was re-planning the four-day vacation now, taking into account that I would be with him and Bella.

"You know," I started carefully, "I could watch Bella. You could go," I suggested. I expected him to immediately deny me, but he eyed me contemplatively.

_I don't understand. First you want to be alone, and now you want to be babysitting?_ It wasn't adding up in his head, no matter how he put the pieces together.

I tried to speak, but ended up just opening and closing my mouth a few times. Something dawned on him then.

_Oh, you want me gone, too_, he realized.

I wanted to tell him it wasn't true, but it was. I wanted to at least think of a good reason for wanting what I did, but he came up with one for me.

_Bella doesn't break the silence, does she? _he asked. He was referring to the silence of her thoughts. His mind was finally forcing things together, though he wasn't really right. He realized that I needed some time away from the family, and I was volunteering to watch Bella to make him leave. Trading in Bella would assure that the house was quiet for me, mentally at least.

He suddenly pitied me more than I was comfortable with. He was upset with himself for not seeing over the years that the larger the family got, the less quiet I knew.

_In a family of seven_, he surmised, _it must be a constant distraction_. He finally felt he understood, and he didn't blame me for wanting to be alone, save for the only person who could keep to herself.

I wanted to correct him. He was wrong. The internal voices of the family, though sometimes a little frustrating, weren't an issue for me. If their voices bothered me so much, I could leave the family whenever I wanted to. But I loved them all, and I would trade their internal chatter for their company any day– almost any day, at least.

But so long as Carlisle thought he understood, I was going to get what I wanted with no further questions.

I shrugged.

_Yes, Edward. Of course, if this is something you need, I'll gladly switch places with you._

I smiled at him, ecstatic to be getting all this time with Bella back that I thought I'd lost, but also a little regretful that I'd lied to my father.

I noticed the time. "I should get back to school. I have to pick up the others."

Carlisle nodded. _I'll start packing my things_, he thought.

I passed my piano on the way out, and I vowed to figure out that song this long weekend with Bella.

Alice had already seen the change of plans by the times I picked everyone up. She was frowning at me about it.

_Can you really not stand to be around us?_ she asked, dejected.

I tried to think how to answer her, and the different options appeared in her visions. 'It's not like that,' 'You don't understand,' 'I just need some quiet time,' and her favorite, 'It's not you it's me.' _Those aren't answers, they're excuses_, she accused. _And it sounds like you're trying to break up with us_, she joked.

I laughed, and Alice grinned at me. _Whatever makes you happy, I guess_, she conceded. She was still upset I wasn't going, though.

Rosalie was more upset. I should have known her good temper wouldn't last. She had seen Carlisle forsaking this family trip as a nice little token of penance, and she was furious that he had talked me into trading places with him.

_Carlisle gets away with everything. This is so unfair!_ I wanted to ask her exactly whom it was unfair for. I was pretty sure she wasn't so upset on my accord.

_I wonder what Carlisle said to convince him. I bet it wasn't too hard, Edward is such an ass kisser._

I glared at her.

"Well you can't expect me to control every little thing I think all day every day!" she defended. "Besides, you can't really say it's not true."

"You're right, Rose," I snapped, "I _can't_ expect you to control your thoughts. Good thing you'll have the next four days to think whatever you want about me and nobody can hear it."

Rose crossed her arms and glared out the window.

"Are you two ever going to stop fighting?" Emmett asked. He more than anyone hated our recent bickering, and I felt bad for causing my brother distress.

_I wish we would,_ Rose thought unintentionally. She tried to unthink it.

I sighed. "Yes, we are. Sorry Rose. I know I can't hold your thoughts against you. But Carlisle didn't talk me into anything. I asked him."

She shot her eyes back to me, and she was confused. _What? Why?_

I wasn't going to answer, so I just shook my head.

She let out a frustrated sigh. She felt like she was being left out of some big secret. I wanted to say, 'You and I both,' but instead I just started the car and drove us home.

Esme and Bella were still out when we got home, which ruined two consecutive times of entering the house and hoping to see her smile. All of my siblings ran off to pack. Rose brushed by Carlisle with an obvious annoyance, and he worried that maybe he _should_ stay. He glanced at me, and I shook my head as a plea. He nodded, and went back to loading up the cars.

By the time Esme and Bella got back to the house, everything was ready to go. Esme saw Carlisle's car pulled around front, and notice my Aston Martin was still in the garage.

_Edward, what's going on?_ she asked.

"Change of plans. I'm going to forgo the weekend trip, and Carlisle is taking my place," I explained. Esme didn't get it. I turned to look at Bella, who seemed equally confused. "I hope you don't mind," I said to her.

She shook her head a little too quickly, and I swore there was excitement in her eyes. I smiled, a little too widely if I thought about it, and Bella smiled back.

Esme was still confused, and I could hear that she intended to make Carlisle explain once they were gone.

Soon, Rosalie and Alice drove off in the convertible with the top down, Emmett and Jasper followed them in the Jeep, ready for some off-roading, and Carlisle and Esme trailed behind in his Mercedes. I could hear all three of the engines make the highway, and then they disappeared at a hundred miles an hour.

I turned to Bella, suddenly overflowing with excitement. "It's just you and me now," I told her, and the thought made my stomach flutter. "What do you want to do first?"

* * *

><p><strong>Thank God Edward had the balls to speak up! I guess he could only stand Bella ignoring him so much :P<strong>

**Don't worry, Rose's bad mood is short lived. She just has a quick temper, you know.**

**I'm traveling all day today– plane then bus– so I'll try to get to reviews (and the next chapter) tomorrow!**


	28. Chapter 28

Previously, on All Vampire:

I turned to Bella, suddenly overflowing with excitement. "It's just you and me now," I told her, and the thought made my stomach flutter. "What do you want to do first?"

* * *

><p><span>Edward<span>:

Bella bit her bottom lip in the cute way she does, and looked at me. She didn't look like she was trying to think of something, but more like she was trying to decide whether or not she should say what she was thinking.

"Come on," I prompted. "I know you have an idea. What is it? What do you want?" I was sure I would be willing. I couldn't think of anything she would ask me that I would deny her.

She still looked uncertain, and I was dying to know what she was thinking. I wished she would just say it!

Like she read _my_ mind, she suddenly blurted out, "Is it a total invasion of everyone's privacy to ask for a tour of the house?"

I realized then that nobody had ever offered her such a thing. I knew she rarely went upstairs, but she never mentioned it, and I just assumed she didn't care. Actually, now that I thought of it, other than the bathroom, Alice's room, and Carlisle's office, she'd not seen any of the upper rooms. She hadn't even _been _to the third floor, where my room was.

I was about to fix that.

"I'm sure they won't mind too much," I said. I took her hand and led her up the stairs. On the second floor, we poked our heads into Rosalie's and Emmett's room, I suggested we go in, knowing they wouldn't mind too much– or ever know– but Bella determinedly refused.

"It's one thing to glance at them, but I'm not going to go trapezing in like I own the place!" She protested.

I shook my head. "Honestly, they won't mind. And you could see some of Rose's paintings. She's very proud of them," I tried to convince her.

She shook her head. "Nope. No way. Maybe if Rosalie invites me in one day, but I'm not going in there when she's gone."

"Alright," I surrendered. "To the third floor, then."

On the third floor, she saw Carlisle and Esme's room– the master bedroom– but refused to walk through it to see the grand marble bathroom they had. I showed her Jasper's room (which she was probably right not to want to go in– Jasper could be very private), the top floor bathroom, and finally, at the end of the hall, we approached the door to my room.

I wasn't sure why I was nervous. Maybe nervous wasn't the right word, it was more like self-conscious.

"This is my room," I told her as I put my hand on the doorknob. "So you have no excuse to hide in the hallway and only poke your head in."

She laughed, and shot me an amused glare that acknowledged I was teasing her.

I opened the door, and we entered. Bella looked around in awe.

"It's so… gold," she said.

I chuckled. "Yeah, It's a little gaudy," I admitted. The carpet was gold colored, and the walls were covered with acoustic fabrics that were almost the same color but darker.

"No, I like it," she insisted. She looked to my wall of CDs, then the sound system, and then considered the curtains and said, "So you must really like music."

I laughed. "Yeah, I do. How'd you guess?" I teased.

"I bet it drowns out everybody's thoughts, huh?" she guessed.

I paused. Her thoughtfulness had caught me off guard again. "Yeah. It does," I confirmed.

She smiled to herself. She was pleased she had guessed right, I thought.

She continued to wander around. She stopped to stare very hard at the wall of CDs, and she looked confused.

"There's not a pattern," I told her, guessing what was confusing her. "They're arranged by personal preference, mostly."

She smiled at me. "And here I thought you couldn't read my mind," she quipped.

For some reason, I was ecstatic. Bella had been such a mystery to me, but every time I guessed something right about her, I felt like she wasn't so far away. I wanted to invite her to sit on the couch with me and listen to some music, but she was already making her way to leave. I didn't want her to. I wanted us to stay up here.

She walked past me and out the door like it meant nothing to her. The happy swell in my chest receded, and left a hollow in its place. I trailed after her. We went back downstairs, and Bella reached for the book she'd left on the sofa. I suddenly really didn't want her to be reading. I wanted her to talk to me. I'd been trying to get her to talk to me since she got back on Sunday. I wanted her to say or do anything that would expand on the few things I really knew about her.

"Do you want to go for a hunt?" I asked her. I realized she'd already been hunting barely an hour ago. "Or a run?" I amended. She always talked more while we were out, maybe because she had nothing better to do.

She glanced at me and smiled, a little uneasily. "No, thanks. I'd rather stay inside. I'm just going to read some."

Maybe I had made the wrong choice by choosing to stay with her. Maybe she was wishing Carlisle was here– at least he would be leaving her alone, as she usually preferred.

I sighed. I thought of going to read with her, but I knew I wouldn't be able to hold my focus on a book. I considered returning to my room to listen to music– maybe it would lure her up there, too– but I didn't want to leave her down here. So instead, I sat at the piano.

I tried to play the song I had been writing in my car earlier, but it wasn't coming out right. Then, it had been simple and beautiful. Now it just sounded frustrated. _I_ was frustrated. I gave up on the song for now, and instead played Clair de Lune. Maybe hearing it again would help bring back the song from the car.

I was expecting Clair de Lune to change something, but I wasn't expecting it to bring Bella to me. About half way through the song, she was suddenly standing behind me. I moved over on the bench, and she took the silent invitation and sat next to me. I smiled, beside myself with joy. Suddenly the new song was back in my head, and I switched into it seamlessly. It truly was beautiful, playing it now. I flowed freely from my mind and through my fingers. When Bella caught on to the melody, she hummed along with me. I almost didn't want to stop playing, just so that I wouldn't have to hear the end of Bella's voice. But the song drifted to an end anyway. It didn't resolve, it dangled.

"It's beautiful," Bella said. I looked at her, and she was looking at me. There was a sort of reverence in her eyes. I wanted her to always look at me like that.

_You're beautiful_, I thought. I opened my mouth to say the words, but I stopped them. "Thanks," I responded instead.

I looked away from her. What was I thinking? This made no sense. Why did I think that about Bella? Sure, she was pretty, but I had seen hundreds of pretty girls before. Why was her beauty affecting me?

I stood up abruptly, and Bella watched me, worried.

"What's wrong?" she asked innocently. _She_ was what was wrong. She was screwing with my head and my stomach. Maybe this was why I couldn't read her mind, maybe Bella's power was to unfocus those around her, turn them into putty.

"Nothing," I lied. I felt like I had to get out of the house. "I'm going to go for a run, alright?" I asked. Part of me hoped she'd say no, that she'd insist I stay with her.

But she only raised an eyebrow at me. "And leave me here alone?" she challenged. How did she know that I couldn't stand the idea of being away from her? Regardless of how much as I needed it.

She continued, "Don't you think the family will be upset with your recklessness? Jasper especially. If he found out you left the newborn alone, that you gave me the freedom to run off..." she left the idea unfinished, but I understood her point.

"Do you _want_ to run off?" I asked her.

"Well, no," she admitted.

I sighed. "Then it's moot. It will be a short run, alright?" I compromised.

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Alright," she agreed carefully. "If you're sure you trust me."

She was teasing, but my answer was serious. "I trust you completely."

She smiled, surprised but pleased. "Okay, then."

With her permission, I was out the door.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow Edward, that sure is a lot of <em>stuff<em> you're feeling. What do you think it means?**


	29. Chapter 29

**To everyone who's been asking for longer chapters: I really can't make it happen unless I just update twice a week instead of daily. Sorry!**

**Anyway, here's this!**

* * *

><p><span>Bella<span>:

I didn't like Edward being gone.

It was the first time I was really alone in what seemed like so long, and the feeling was more unsettling than I remembered. In my human life, I had liked being alone. I liked holing myself up in my room or finding empty tables in the school library where nobody could find me– if anybody were looking for me.

Now, though, being alone was making me anxious. It was a toned down version of the anxiety I felt the first day when most of the family went to school and I was alone with Carlisle and Esme. I had been assuming that I was just awkward being alone with them in the house. I'd thought that if they left too, I would relax and not worry. I wouldn't have guessed that this would be my reaction.

This sucked. Being a vampire didn't make any sense. I couldn't make my thoughts and my emotions click together. Maybe my brain and my body were just entirely disconnected from each other and would never sync up again. I could wake up every morning and ask Jasper how I was feeling, I guess.

Except that I didn't wake up in the morning, anymore.

I was being stupid. I just needed to work at it. What was my body telling me?

_I miss Edward_, I thought. Why did I miss Edward?

Because I was a danger to myself and society? That was pretty much how the family treated me. But Edward had left me here alone. He trusted me, and that made me feel warm inside.

Okay, new question, why did that make me feel warm?

After all this time of being treated like an irrational child who couldn't look after myself, someone was finally respecting me as a grown individual. That had to be it. I had been so independent in my human life, being looked after so much was going against all my instincts.

See, that wasn't so hard. Everything made sense.

Everything except for that song. There was something about it. It was familiar, almost, though I was sure I'd never heard it before. In fact, I was nearly certain he'd written it as we sat there. Either that or Edward played every song like it was pouring out of his soul almost faster than his fingers could keep up. I wanted to hear my song again.

_My song?_ I realize what I'd thought. _How is it my song?_

It wasn't my song, obviously. It was Edward's. I hadn't helped write it and he certainly wasn't giving it to me.

This was all too confusing, and being alone was only making it worse. I just wished Edward would come back.

Edward:

I ended up in my meadow, lying in the grass and the wildflowers. I thought being away from Bella would clear my head, but it was doing exactly the opposite. I should have known leaving a newborn alone would just make me worried. My head kept running through all the possibilities of what could go wrong, and I was anxious to get back. I fought those thoughts back. She was level-headed and reasonable. She could manage a few minutes without supervision.

But I still wanted to go back.

What was wrong with me?! I felt like _I_ was the newborn. Everything was up and down and I couldn't get a hold over myself.

_If I could just read her mind…_ I thought, but that probably wouldn't help me either. It wasn't the silence of her mind that was under my skin, it was the way she smiled and laughed and bit her lip.

I had to get back. I would work through this stuff later. Right now, Bella was at home alone, and it was irresponsible of me to leave her there.

I got up and it felt like a magnet was pulling me back home.

When I approached the house, I heard the sound of someone lazily pressing random keys on my piano. I opened the front door, and Bella was sitting still on my bench. She turned around to see me, and the smile that broke out on her face warmed my very core.

"You're back!" she cheered.

I grinned at her. I walked towards her, intending to embrace her. She saw my advance and moved over on the piano bench like she expected me to sit with her.

"Edward, can you play that song again?" she asked. "It felt so quiet while you were gone. I couldn't stand it."

I stopped in my tracks. She wasn't excited to see me at all, she just missed the sound of my music. Why did I care?

I sighed, and took my place next to her on the piano bench. I played the song again, and when it was over, I played Esme's song. I didn't want to stop, so I played Clair de Lune, Pachelbel's Canon, and a few other songs. Some I had written, some were classics. I looked over at Bella, who was enthralled, and played her song once more.

_Her _song? Is that what it was? It didn't feel like it was mine, and it wasn't until she was by my side that I was able to play it the first time.

When her song ended, I stopped. In the silence, Bella rested her head on my shoulder. I relished at the contact.

"It's so peaceful," she commented. Her voice was a quiet, content purr, and I wanted to play the song again and again if it meant Bella would stay like this forever.

She took a deep breath, and let out a relaxed sigh. "Everything has been so crazy," she said. "All this time, I don't know how I would have dealt with any of it without you. You make everything so easy." Her words thrilled me. "And calm. You calm the storm, Edward. Thank you."

She turned into me and hugged me. I returned the embrace and pulled her close. My nose was in her hair, she smelled like heaven. Her arms around me were the only things holding together my sanity.

"Thank you thank you thank you," she chanted. "You're the most wonderful person, and the most wonderful friend." She pulled away and smiled at me, then darted off to find her book.

The realization hit me with all the subtlety of a cartoon anvil being dropped on my head. I didn't want to be Bella's _friend_. I loved her.

* * *

><p><strong>Happy Valentine's Day! I could not have planned a better chapter update for today if I had been trying (and I wasn't trying! Don't you love coincidences?) So now Edward gets it, FINALLY. Let's see how Bella reacts to that ;)<strong>

**Also, I don't know about any of you, but I'm super psyched for the 50 Shades movie today! I'm sure this isn't news to anyone, but 50 was originally a Twilight fic called Master of the Universe!**


	30. Chapter 30

**I saw 50 Shades of Grey yesterday, and honestly, I loved it.  
>Also, it's waaaaaay more graphic than I thought it would be. I do not recommend it for the squeamish and or weak of heart :P<strong>

* * *

><p><span>Bella<span>:

After Edward finished playing the piano, I returned to my book. He stayed by the piano for a minute, and I wondered if he was going to play more, but soon he picked up a book and joined me on the sofa. His arm swung lazily around my shoulders, and I leaned into him. Something about Edward made me feel so warm, and I was glad he'd not been gone very long when he left earlier.

I would have been content to just sit like that forever, but a little while after the sunset, Edward moved. He put his book down, only a few pages further than when he had started, I noticed, and went to the glass French doors. He looked up at the sky.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"The clouds are starting to fade. Alice saw that tonight would be clear." He looked to me with excitement in his eyes and asked, "Are you still opposed to leaving the house?"

In answer, I put down my book and joined him at the doors. He took my hand in his, which was unnecessary at this point, but not unwelcome, and led us outside. He took me in an unfamiliar direction, and soon we were in a small clearing. I stepped away from him and took in the little meadow. It was beautiful, even in the dark. There were wildflowers growing everywhere, and they swayed in the breeze. They tempted me to go lie in them.

"This place is wonderful!" I said.

He smiled shyly and agreed, "Yeah. You should see it in the light sometime."

"I'd love to!"

Edward looked at me like I'd given him some sort of gift, then glanced away and changed the subject. "I like to come here sometimes to unwind, clear my mind."

"Does everyone else in your family do that, too?" I asked.

"Uh, no," he admitted. "Just me."

I realized that I was probably in Edward's most personal space, and I was suddenly very self-conscious about it. What if he'd only brought me here because he didn't want to leave me home alone again?

"Oh. Sorry, I could go back home, or something. I don't want to intrude," I offered.

"What? No, Bella." He shook his head. "How do you get those sorts of ideas?" he asked. "I brought you here because I wanted to share it with you. Besides, you're missing the best part." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, and Edward nodded his head upward, indicating that I should look.

I looked up, and the universe looked down at me. I had never seen a star display like this in Phoenix, but maybe I had just never been able to see all the stars with my clouded human eyes.

Edward closed the space between us and said, "Forks can be a pretty nice place, when the clouds part."

I was too in awe to say anything back. I tore my eyes unwilling from the stars and looked at Edward. I hugged him again. I would have been self-conscious about how much I'd touched him today, but he insisted he didn't mind the contact, and his body language seemed to welcome it.

When I let go of him, I lay down in the grass and the flowers to look up at the stars. Edward lay down next to me, and I grabbed his hand.

Edward:

Lying in the grass with Bella, holding her hand, gazing at the stars: I knew no greater pleasure in the world. She was transfixed on the sky above us, and I was transfixed on her. Her hair was splayed out around her head, her lips were parted, her eyes stared dreamily above her. I watched her chest rise and fall with each breath. She was beautiful.

I loved her. It explained everything. It explained why I was so crabby when I wasn't with her, why I couldn't stand school anymore, why I wanted her to smile at me all the time, why I was so jealous when Carlisle and Esme took her hunting in my place. It explained why I had written that song only when she was next to me. It was my love for her, incarnated into music, forcing it's way out of my head.

I couldn't believe I hadn't realized it sooner. I felt like I had loved her for so long already.

_And she loves me_, I thought. No, wait. I couldn't assume that. Sure, she was always happier to see me than anybody else, and she talked to me when she wouldn't talk to others. Her eyes lit up when I walked in a room, and she wouldn't let anybody else as close to her as I got. I thought of our hands entwined between us. Would she have grabbed my hand like she did if she didn't love me? I didn't know.

_She's a newborn!_ the logical part of my mind screamed. It was so easy to forget with Bella. She was so composed and self-possessed. But she was struggling. She had just told me, not hours ago, that her emotions were a storm. _A storm I calmed_, I remembered, but a storm nonetheless. She thanked me for being easy for her to be around. I was a steadying force for her, and I was not about to sacrifice that. I could hold onto my feelings for Bella until she was ready to learn of them.

"Edward," Bella hummed. God, I loved it when she said my name.

"Yes," I answered. I wondered what she was thinking

"Do you know any of the constellations?" she asked. I never would have guessed that she was thinking that.

"No, actually," I admitted. All the times I'd gone to college, I'd never studies astronomy.

"Oh," she said, sounding a little disappointed. I wished I had studied astronomy, now. Maybe I would take it up next time we went to school. Maybe Bella would take it with me, if she were controlled enough to go to school in a few years.

For now, I thought I would have to contend myself with silence. Bella had a different idea.

"We could make some," she suggested.

I laughed. "Make some?" I asked.

"Sure," she pressed. "Like, see those two bright ones right next to each other?" She took her hand out of mine to gesture to the stars, but before I could be disappointed, she shifted to be lying closer to me. So much closer. Her hips settled next to mine, and the side of her leg ran down the side of mine. She put her head on my shoulder, probably to put our line of sight as close together as possible.

After a second, she asked again, "Those two. Do you see them?" I realized that she had asked me before, but I'd forgotten when she'd pressed herself against me. I forcefully regained the reins of my mind.

"Yes, I see them." I didn't really want to see them, I wanted to be looking at her.

"And do you see the line of dimmer stars below them?" she asked, excited that I was going along with her idea.

"Sure," I agreed. The stars she was talking about weren't quite a line, so much as an awkward half curve.

"Well, those can sort of be a smiley face," she suggested.

I laughed. She was definitely stretching to come to that conclusion.

"Okay," she defended, sitting up, "so maybe it's not a perfect smiley face, I guess it's more like a smirk, or a half smile, but it's the best I've got!"

"No," I placated, "I like it." I did like it. It was original and sweet and maybe a little bit odd, just like she was.

Pleased, she put her head back on my shoulder. My eyes closed and I sighed at the return of her touch.

"What would you like to name it?" I asked her.

She thought for a moment. I wished I knew what possibilities she was going through. "I'm going to name it after you," she said in a sweet, teasing voice.

I laughed. "After me? What did I do to deserve such an honor?" I joked.

She looked at me, at my mouth, and said, "You're doing it now. You smile like that. Crooked, but sweet."

I didn't know how to respond to that, really. I had been told before that I smiled like a cynic– amused but never admitting I was happy. I wondered if that was the same half smile Bella was talking about. I wasn't against admitting I was happy now.

"Okay," I agreed. "If you _really_ want to name a constellation 'The Edward,' I'm not going to stop you," I taunted playfully.

She rolled her eyes, but conceded, "Okay, so it's a little cheesy. How about we just call it 'The Crooked Smile?'"

"I can live with that," I agreed.

She smiled. "Okay, your turn."

I turned to look at the sky. I wanted to come up with something good, but all I could think of was Bella. All the stars just looked like her.

* * *

><p><strong>Isn't that a cute activity. I feel like I might be going too mushy on all of you.<strong>

**Anyway, bad news: Because of all sorts of life things, I'm actually a lot behind in writing this story, so there might not be a chapter update tomorrow :(**  
><strong>But I promise I will try my hardest to finish something for you guys. I'm just worried that tomorrow is going to be too busy.<strong>

**Definitely chapter day after tomorrow, though! Sorry again :(**


	31. Chapter 31

**Sorry this is such a short chapter! But at least there's a chapter here at all!**

* * *

><p><span>Edward:<span>

We stayed in the meadow all night looking at the stars. After a few constellations, we stopped, opting to watch them slowly inch across the sky instead.

Bella was silent, painfully silent. She had taken my hand back in hers once she was done pointing. I wanted to know what she was thinking. Her head was still on my shoulder, her hand in mine. Every now and then, she would sigh contently.

Did she love me?

Would she know if she did?

She shifted her head, looking now towards the pink side of the sky where the sun was coming up. Her hair was under my nose, and I could smell her every time I inhaled. I wanted to run my fingers through her hair. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to kiss her. I would barely have to move my neck to plant a kiss on the top of her head. It would be so simple.

_No, no, no!_ I scolded myself. _She's a newborn. She's a newborn_. I chanted the mantra over and over again in my head. _And not to mention, I have no idea if she feels the same for me_, my pessimistic side added sadly.

I sighed, sadly, and looked down at her face. She was still staring at the sky, appreciating what I'm sure was a beautiful sunrise. She was more beautiful. The sun had just barely begun to touch her, and it had two effects. The first I was expecting: her skin broke into thousands of diamonds, shimmering in the light exquisitely. The second I wasn't: Her hair, which was usually a chestnut brown, glinted with shards of red.

Would she ever stop surprising me? Would she ever stop captivating me? Would she ever love me how I loved her?

She must have felt my eyes on her, because she turned her attention from the sky to me. I smiled at her, and she gasped.

She sat up suddenly, looking at me like she'd never seen me before. I wanted to ask what was wrong, but she spoke before I could.

"You're _beautiful_!" she exclaimed.

I was flying. Our hands were still linked together, and I squeezed hers. She glanced at our hands, and I opened my mouth to return the compliment, but stopped. After seeing our hands, her eyes were tracing over herself, up her arm, down the other. She pulled up the cuff of her jeans and looked at her ankle. She had such a nice ankle.

"_I'm_ beautiful!" she said, with the same sense of wonder.

The realization hit me hard. Bella had never seen us in the sun before. She was only commenting on our skin. My mood dropped quickly back to the ground. She pulled her hand from mine to run it along her other arm, and I wanted to groan. I wanted her back, lying on me.

_Stop it_, I told myself. I had to stop thinking those things. I couldn't act on the impulses, and I wanted them to just go away.

Bella laughed, amused, and looked to me. "Well, we definitely don't burn up in the sun," she joked.

I laughed too. "No, we don't."

She examined herself again and giggled, delighted. I sat up in response. It was such a beautiful sound. I wanted to hear her make it again, and the first option that popped into my head was tickling her. I shut that thought process down, before it could get away from me.

She grabbed my hand again, and ran her fingers up my arm, over the sparkling. I inhaled sharply.

She immediately dropped my arm again. "Sorry," she murmured, brushing a lock of her hair back behind her ear and looking down sheepishly.

_No!_ I wanted to scream._ Don't be sorry! Do it again!_ I needed her to know that she hadn't done anything wrong. I needed her to not be afraid to touch me.

"You surprised me," I said. It wasn't a lie. She smiled apologetically at me, and I offered her my arm again. For a long moment, she didn't move. I couldn't breathe.

Just before the anticipation killed me, she slowly and nimbly reached out and took my hand again. She turned it over, examining the back and the palm with equal fascination. Her fingers closed over mine, making me form a loose fist. I put my other hand on top of our joined ones, and rubbed my thumb back and forth across her finger. I felt warm under her touch– or maybe electrified was a better word. Energy was coursing through me where she touched.

She slipped her hand out from between mine, and I glanced at her face. She looked uncomfortable.

_Shit,_ I thought. I hadn't wanted to make her uncomfortable. She stood, and gazed wistfully in the direction of the house.

"Want to go back home?" I asked her, standing up myself.

She nodded. _Shit_, I thought again. Were we really going back to not-speaking terms? I hoped not. I ran towards the house, and Bella followed. I wished I knew what she was thinking. I always wished I knew what she was thinking. Had I upset her? This was why I wasn't going to tell her about my feelings for her! I couldn't expect her to be able to make head or tails of such a confession, let alone think about reciprocating. Bella and I were friends, _just_ friends, and I would have to accept that.

For now.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm out of town and busy and sort of sick, so the universe is conspiring against me writing. But I'll do everything I can to get another chapter up tomorrow, too (though it might also be short, sorry!)<strong>

**And also sorry for my lack of Review Responding. Same excuses apply– out of town, busy, sick :(**

**Thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing! I really do love you all!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Sorry that there was no chapter yesterday! But this one is longer than average, at least, so maybe you'll all forgive me**

* * *

><p><span>Bella<span>:

When we got back home, I was still confused. I wasn't even sure I knew what I was confused about. Seeing Edward and myself in the sun had been a pleasant surprise. I was worried I'd crossed a line when I touched his arm and he gasped, but then he seemed insistent that I hadn't done anything wrong. I didn't know why I'd felt so compelled to touch him then, or why I wanted to play with his fingers when he offered his hand back to me. It was confusing, but it was a nice kind of confusing.

I didn't know what to make of it, though. And I really didn't know what to make of Edward stroking my hand with his thumb. It wasn't the first time he'd done it, and the contact wasn't unwelcome, but I had already been muddled, and his touch made it worse.

I hated this body! Even if it was faster and stronger and prettier. I hated that it wouldn't just talk to my mind and let me know what was going on!

I tried to grab hold of my thoughts, and push down all the things I was feeling. I picked up a book, not bothering to look at what it was, and started to read.

Edward had quietly faded upstairs, maybe sensing my precarious mood and removing himself from any backlash. He turned on a CD on a very low volume, but I could still hear the quiet, sad song from downstairs. I didn't recognize it. I wondered where on his shelf it came from. They were arranged by personal preference, he'd said, so if I could see the place it was missing from on the wall, maybe I could guess how much he liked it.

No, I was going to focus on my book. I didn't get too far into it. It was about a mother and a daughter who had nobody else in the world, and I knew the feeling too well.

Mom. I'd barely thought of her, all this time. I would never see her again, I knew. There was no way I could be around her, or anyone, without killing them, and even if there was, what would I say? 'Hi mom, why yes, I do look different, that's because I've joined the legion of the blood-sucking undead. I'm fighting my every instinct to not kill you where you stand. So how's Phil?'

My eyes prickled, like I was crying. I had to force myself to stop my hand from wiping my cheek. There were no tears to wipe away.

I put down my book and went to the back, glass wall. I stared out at the large backyard and the river and the trees, but I could also see my reflection in the glass. I was white and sparkling. I missed my mother, but she could never see me like this.

Edward:

Over the quiet sound of my music, I heard Bella moving around downstairs, and after a few moments of silence, I heard her sniffle.

Sniffle? That made no sense. I went downstairs to see what was going on.

Bella was standing in the living room, staring out the glass wall and into the backyard. Her brow was furrowed, and she seemed to be so deep in thought she hadn't even noticed my arrival. Either that or she ignored it; she may not care in the slightest whether or not I was in the room with her. The idea twisted my stomach a bit. It seemed to be all I noticed, all I cared about these days: being near Bella, being around Bella, being with Bella.

She sighed, her private thoughts were obviously troubling her.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked. She turned to me a little too quickly, her eyes betraying a hint of surprise as she saw me. So she hadn't noticed my entrance.

"Nothing," she responded, but her brow was still furrowed and her thoughts were still a thousand miles away.

"Tell me," I urged. I hated not knowing her mind!

She was silent for a moment. "It's stupid," she finally said dismissively.

"I want to know. I won't laugh," I promised, "if that's what you're worried about."

She sighed again. Then turned to fully meet my gaze. "I… I want eggs," she admitted, dropping our eye contact and dipping her head– in what, embarrassment? Her confession sent me reeling. What did she mean she wanted eggs? Did she mean it like the human food, or was she admitting to wishing she could have children? Before I'd gathered my thoughts enough to ask, she continued. "But obviously, I don't want eggs."

Well, good thing she cleared that up. There was a moment of silence while I waited for Bella to continue, and she was watching me, apparently waiting for some sort of response.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but what in the world are you talking about?" I finally _had_ to ask.

She ducked her head in that way that let her hair fall in her face. I immediately regretted the way I'd spoken. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable, and I certainly didn't want her to feel like she should have to hide from me. I wanted the exact opposite, actually. Surely, there had to have been a nicer way to ask her to elaborate. I was about to apologize when she spoke. "My mom was a very… _adventurous_ cook," she said. She was still hiding under her hair, and I didn't know if she was going to keep talking.

"Alright," I said carefully. I wanted to encourage her into continuing without making her feel any more embarrassed.

She looked up at me to continue her story, which I found much preferable, though I had to concentrate on not watching the delicate movements of her lips as she spoke. "When I was little, she used to make me breakfast in the morning before school. It was almost always scrambled eggs, but she had a thing for 'secret ingredients.'" Her mouth curved into an adorable, indulgent smile. "The eggs were usually horrible," she said, then sighed and was quiet for a moment. She seemed to be lost in some memory.

Her smile faded a little and she turned back to me to continue. "One day, when I was in fourth grade or something, I put my foot down. I told her I'd had enough of her secret ingredient eggs." Her smile completely turned into a disappointed frown now. I wondered what her mother had done to disappoint her. "She was all bummed about it, but she did as I asked. From that day on, breakfast was edible, but I always felt as though I'd taken all the fun out of it for her." She sighed and wrapped her arms around herself. Her whole body seemed to curl in on itself.

"I know…" her voice was trembling, "I know I can't eat human food anymore, and I know that they would be horrible even if I could, but I was just thinking… what I wouldn't give for some secret ingredient eggs right now." That was when I realized: she wasn't disappointed with her mother, but with herself.

She sobbed dryly, and I felt my heart break. I was next to her in an instant, and I wrapped my arms around her. It felt like the most natural thing in the world, having Bella in my arms, and she completed the feeling by turning to hug me as her body tried to shed non-existent tears.

I felt like such a jerk. She was sad, she was hurting, and all I could do was revel in the fact that she had made physical contact with me. Could I be more of a cad? But then again, I was making her feel better. _In a way, I'm being selfless_, I tried to convince myself, _even if I am killing two birds with one stone_.

After what was absolutely too short of a time, Bella pulled away. She wiped her hand across her face, even though there were no tears to clear away. Then she laughed at herself, seeming to realize the same thing.

"Sorry," she said, "I didn't mean to throw that on you."

"Don't apologize. The least I could do was listen. And I'm here for you," I promised.

She smiled at me, and pulled me in for another hug. "Thanks," she said, and she let go before I could even put my arms around her.

"Don't worry about it. The first year is hard." I was reminding myself as much as I was reminding her. Bella was a newborn, handling existing with any ounce of sanity was hard enough. She didn't need the added weight of knowing my feelings for her. "It gets better." I hoped it would, for the both of us.

"What was your human family like?" she asked suddenly.

It took me a second to register her question. I hadn't spoken about my human parent in so long, and I didn't know where to start, really.

"Oh, God. Sorry! That was so rude. I don't want to pry," she apologized, dropping her gaze and letting her hair fall between her eyes and mine.

Without thinking, I reached out to her and brushed her hair away, tucking it behind her ear. She glanced up at me, still looking embarrassed, and bit her lip nervously.

"I remember my mother better than my father," I told her, deciding to just jump in with whatever details I could think of. "She and I had the same hair color, but I think I looked more like my father than her."

After a moment of shock, Bella was enraptured. She paid careful attention while I told her all about my life in the early 1900's– what I could remember of it, anyway. I told her about my parents, who I loved; my desire to be a soldier, which I regretted; and dying of the flu before Carlisle saved me. I tried to fill in as much detail as I could, but that time was so fuzzy to me now.

"Do you ever miss your parents?" she asked me, once I'd finished describing them to her.

"Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time, now," I told her. "But yes, sometimes. Mostly I just wish I could remember them better."

She was silent, but obviously thinking. Finally, in a small voice, she asked, "Am I going to forget my parents, too?"

I wanted to tell her no. I wanted to take the sadness out of her voice, but I didn't want to lie to her, and that was more important.

"You'll forget a lot about your human life," I admitted. "But the more you think about them, the easier they are to remember." I thought about how vividly Rosalie remembered her human life– because she'd brooded over every moment of it, regretting losing it, for so long.

She was quiet again, and I wondered if she was trying to think of the things she most didn't want to forget.

She glanced up at me, apprehensive, and bit her lip. I wanted to tug it out of her mouth. Maybe if I could stop her nervous habit, I could stop her being nervous. She obviously wanted to tell me something, or ask me something, and I wished she would just say it.

"What is it?" I asked her.

She dropped her gaze, embarrassed to be caught, but her hair stuck where I'd put it behind her ear, so I could still see her eyes as she considered telling me.

I wasn't going to let her decide against it. I put my hand under her chin and turned her head to look at me. Her eyes were so big and innocent, especially surprised and nervous as she was.

"You can tell me," I promised her. "Don't be so nervous. You can tell me anything."

She released her lip, and stared up at me like I was a mythical creature. Of course, by some standards, I was, but I didn't think that was surprising her now.

"There's something I think I want to know," she admitted after a long moment. I let go of her chin, though I missed the feel of her skin on my hand. To replace the feeling, I grabbed her hand, and gently squeezed in what I was hoping was a reassuring gesture.

"Tell me," I prompted. I had to stop myself from begging the words.

She sighed, resigned. "I want to know what happened to Charlie," she said.

Oh. That was going to be difficult.

* * *

><p><strong>So Bella gets all flustered by intimate contact with Edward, so that could mean she either really likes him, or she doesn't like him very much at all. Poor Edward, not knowing is going to kill him :P<strong>

**Next chapter: We finally address the question of _What about Charlie? _That will be tomorrow, hopefully!**


	33. Chapter 33

**You guys! Hi! I don't know what's wrong with my computer or this website or what, but it wasn't letting me upload new documents! (Also, almost all the pictures are the little broken picture icon.) I'm hoping this works! I guess if anyone is reading this, then it must be working!**

* * *

><p><span>Edward<span>:

I didn't really know what to tell Bella about Charlie. On the one hand, she was asking me, and I wanted to tell her the truth. But on the other hand, she probably wouldn't like the truth, and I wasn't sure she could handle it this early on.

I decided truth was most important– more so even than trying to protect her. If I ever wanted Bella to trust me, I had to be honest with her from the beginning.

"Charlie survived the accident," I told her. "Carlisle called the ambulance that saved him, but left before it arrived. The paramedics assumed Charlie was the one who called them, and Charlie didn't remember either way. He was admitted to the hospital, and woke up the next day. The first thing he did was ask about you, and when the doctors told him you were missing, he called a search party. Of course, people had already started looking for you, and of course, they didn't find you.

"The official report says that you were probably dragged off by an animal, and because the paramedics weren't sure how long Charlie was sitting in the road after the crash, it could have easily happened."

Bella was looking up at me, shocked. I considered stopping to let her absorb it all, but decided that maybe just telling her everything at once was best.

"I read his mind," I continued. "He didn't remember Carlisle's interference at all, which is what we'd worried about."

There was a long silence, and Bella was squeezing my hand tightly.

Finally, she asked quietly, "What does he think happened to me?"

I didn't want to tell her. "The search party had to stop on the second day because it was raining so hard, but the rain cleared the snow, and they picked up again. After a few days, they stopped. Charlie didn't want to, but you were declared dead. I dropped by your funeral, skipped history class to do it. You father was there, and your mother and her husband, Phil." I didn't want to think about her funeral. I'd hated listening to the grieving thoughts of her family. They all had pictures in their mind of Bella, alive and radiant and pink with blood in her cheeks. I looked at her now, white and cold, and I was sorry she had died.

_But if she had lived, I might have killed her anyway_, I thought, remembering the smell of her blood. Had she arrived in school the next day, smelling how she had, I wasn't sure I would have been able to resist her blood.

The thought made me sick. I could have killed her. I had to force myself to remember that she was here with me now, and that I didn't have to worry about hurting her now that she was one of us.

Bella was still silent. She had turned back to stare out the window. I couldn't guess what she was thinking, and it was killing me. I wished she would just say something.

To end the silence, I spoke more. "A few of Charlie's friends were there too," I said.

I hadn't really been expecting her to respond to that, but she did.

"Billy Black?" she asked.

I froze. Yes, Billy Black had been there. The old man in the wheel chair and his son were both in attendance. The younger Quileute was grieving mildly for the girl he barely knew, but his father had more on his mind. He was old enough that he believed the legends that were left in the tribe. He'd seen his own grandfather transform into a wolf, and he knew vampires were real and dangerous.

Billy Black suspected that Bella's disappearance had nothing to do with wild animals. He suspected the local monsters, but he had no idea we'd taken Bella in. He only assumed that we found her broken and dying, and stole her for her blood. He wanted to face us with the charge of breaking the treaty, but there were no more wolves left to defend the tribe, and he was not so foolish that he would accuse us. He knew there was nothing any number of humans could do to bring the justice he sought.

I wondered how Bella knew him.

"Charlie bought his old car for me," she said, as if she'd heard my unasked question. "He said it was a truck. I never even got to see it."

Bella went quiet again, but her grip on my hand didn't loosen. I didn't like seeing her brooding. I wanted to change the subject.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked suddenly. I hadn't even meant to, the question just fell out of my mouth. Bella started, and turned to me, looking surprised and confused. I wanted to hit my head against a wall, I felt so stupid. What sort of a question was that?! Abruptly, Bella began to laugh.

"Where did that come from?" she finally asked through giggles. God I loved the sound of her giggling. I laughed too.

"I don't know," I admitted. "I guess I'm just so used to knowing everything about everyone. It's strange for me being with you," I told her. It was true, but it wasn't the entire truth. I just really wanted to know every little thing about her.

She nodded, smiling indulgently. "My favorite color changes," she said.

"What is it now?" I asked, compulsively again.

She looked at me, and her head cocked to the side as she considered it. I held her gaze. Her eyes were bright red. I usually found the color off-putting when I encountered others of our kind, but her eyes looked so light and inquisitive. It was impossible to look away.

"Gold," she finally answered.

I beamed. "Like my room?" I asked. She rolled her eyes, and I wanted to scowl. _No, not like your room. She's not obsessed with you like you are with her_.

"Not quite," she answered. "I was thinking a little yellower than that. But your room is a nice color too," she added kindly. "What's your favorite color?" she returned my question.

I smiled. I liked that she would play this game with me, though I wanted her answers more.

"It changes," I answered. She rolled her eyes and swatted at my arm.

"You're just making fun of me," she accused playfully. She was s cute when she was playful.

"No, really," I promised.

"Fine. What's is it now?" she asked, mimicking my question.

I looked at her and smiled. The sun was shining on her through the window, and I could see the red strands in her hair. They shone with the same light and ferocity of her eyes.

"Red," I answered.

She considered that and frowned. "Blood?" she asked.

"No," I answered. I wanted to tell her why red was the most captivating color in my life right now, but I'd promised to keep my feelings from her, so I just didn't explain.

Her lips twisted as she tried to make sense of my answer, but she quickly sighed and gave up.

"So does that sate your need for random questions?" she asked, teasing me. She knew the answer.

"No," I said anyway. "I think I can come up with a few more." I could probably come up with thousands of questions to ask her.

She sighed, but smiled indulgently at me again. "Okay," she agreed. "Shoot."

* * *

><p><strong>God, I hope this makes it to the website! Also, the font os weird on my end, I don't know if that applies to anyone reading it :**


End file.
